Rensselaer Union, Volume 10, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 July 1878 — Josh Billings’ Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings’ Philosophy.

The best thing I know of is a firstrate wife, the next bcßt thing is a sec-ond-rate one. —•— The man who never makes anv blunders is a very clever piece of machinery, that's all. I know of men whose word is better than their bond. These fellows I call tho knight erranta in honesty. There is nothing tho human heart accepts more greedily than flattery, and nothing it ought to be more ashamed of. No man has ever yet become so wise as to know how much he loves himself, and how little he loves his neighbor. Women are elegant creatures, but I never saw one yet who could expectorate gracefully. Our reason and our passion are the two best things given us, and he who has no passion might as well have no reason. Too much mental culture acts on the brain lust as too much hoeing and manure does on a pumpkin vine, a labyrinth of vine ana a remorseless want of pumpkin. . Nature has taught us our love of variety; she loves it so well herself that she seldom, if ever, has made even two Rockaway clams just alike. It seems to be true, and it seems to be strange, too, that more people in this world have been persecuted for righteousness’ sake than ever have boen for the devil’s sake. What a disgusted and disappointed race of creatures we should be if we could only “see ourselves as others see us.” Young man, don’t hunt after perfection, but go for a healthy average; you will strike this every now aud then and learn to praise your good luck. Love is a difficult sensation to define; about all we can say about it is, its victims feel foolish ana act foolish too. There is not a more thankless task in the world than trying to help the improvident. Young man, never put your hand in the lion’s mouth; if you happen to escape, it only proves that the lion just at that time was looking for a bigger job. I have seen men whom the only safety in dealing with was to implicitly trust. I would as soon think of pulling the tail feathers out of a peacock as to interfere with the innocent vanity of a man. Advice is very cheap in market just now; the supply has killed the demand. Flattery is nothing more than lying, and it is tho most abject kind too. When a wise man undertakes to do a cunning thing, he almost always makes a miserable failure of it. The only difference in the vanity of men is this —some have got more than others. Truth is said to be stranger than fiction; it is to most folks.— N. Y.Weekly.