Rensselaer Union, Volume 10, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 July 1878 — A Tree-Agent Treed. [ARTICLE]

A Tree-Agent Treed.

The July Scribner etui tains the concluding installment of Mr. F. E. Stockton’s droll “ Rudder Grange” sketches. One of the incidents of this last sketch Ruuder Grange, returning from a drive with Euphcnna, his wife, finds a tramp in one of his trees and a tree-agent in another near by, with his savage dog, Lord Edward, plying between. Tne . following scene ensues: "This one,” said Pomona, “is a tree-man ” " I should think so,” said I, as I caught sight of a person in gray trowsers standing among the branches of a cherry-tree not very far from the kitchen door. The tree was not a large one, and the branches were not strong enough to allow him to sit down on them, although they supported him well enough, as he stood close to the trunk just out of reach of Lord Edward. “ This is a very unpleasant position, sir,” said he, when I reached the tree. “ I simply came into your yard, on a matter of business, and finding that raging beast attacking a person in a tree, I had barely time to get up into this tree myself, before he dashed at me. Luckily I was out of his reach; but I very much fear I have lost some of my property.” “ No, he hasn’t,” said Pomona. “It was a big book he dropped. I picked it up and took it into the house. It’s full of pictures of pears and peaches and flowers. I’ve been lookin’ at it. That's how 1 knew what he was. And there was no call for his gittin up a tree. Lord Edward never would have tone after him if he hadn’t run as if c had guilt on his soul.” " I suppose, then,” said I, addressing the individual in the cherry-tree, “that you came here to sell me some trees.” “Yes, sir,” said he, quickly, “trees, shrubs, vines, evergreens—everything Suilable fbr a gentleman’s country vlfla. 1 can sell you something quite re markable, sir, in the way of cherry trees —French ones, just imported; bear fruit three times the size of anything that could be produced on a tree like this. And pears—fruit of the finest flavor and enormous size—”

“ Yes,” said Pomona. “ I seen them in the book. But they must grow on a ground-vine. Notree couldn’tbold such pears as them.” Here Euphemia reproved Pomona’s forwardness, and I invited the treeagent to get down out of the tree. “Thank you,” said he; “but not while that dog is loose. If you will kindly chain Turn up* I will get my book, and show you specimens of some of the finest small fruit in the world, all imported from the first nurseries of Europe—the Red-gold Amber Muscat grape—the—” “Oh, please let him down!” said Euphemia, her eyes beginning to sparkle. - I slowly walked toward the tramptree, revolving various matters in my r mind. We had not spent much money on the place during the winter, and we ■low had a small sum which we intended to use for the advantage of the farm, bnt had not yet decided what to do with it. It behooved me to be careful. 1 told Pomona to run and get me the dog-chain, and I stood under the tree, listening, as well as I could, to the treeagent talking to Euphemia, and paying no attention to the impassioned entreaties of the tramp in the croteh above me. When the chain was brought I hooked one end of it in Lord Edward’s collar, and then I took a firm frasp of the other. Telling Pomona to ring the tree-agent's book from the house, I called to that individual to get down from his tree. He promptly obeyed, and, taking the book from Pomona, began to show the pictures to Euphemia. “ You had better hurry, sir,” I called out. “I can’t hold this dog very long.” And, indeed, Lord Edward had made a run toward the agent, which jerked me very forcibly in nis direction. But a movement by the tramp had quickly brought the dog back to his more desired victim. —“ If you will just tie up that dog, sir,” said the agent, " ana come this way, I would like to show you the Meltinagua pear—dissolves in the month like snow, sir; trees will bear next year.” “ Oh, come, look at the Royal Sparkling Ruby grape!” cried Euphemia. “It glows in the sun like a gem.” “Yes,” said the agent, “and fills the air with fragrance during the whole month of September—- “ I tell you,” I shouted, “I can’t hold this dog another minute! The chain is cutting the skin off my hands. Run, sir, run! I’m going to let go!” “Run! run!” cried Pomona. “Fly for your life!” The agent now began to be frightened, and shut up his book. “If you only could see the plates, sir. I’m sure ” “ Are you rendyP” I cried, as the dog, excited by Pomona’s wild shouts, made a bolt in his direction.

“Good-day, if I must—” said the agent, as he hurried to the gate. But there he stopped. “There is nothing, sir,” he said, “ that would so improve your place as a row of the Spiteenberg sweet-scented balsam fir along this fence. I’ll sell you three-year-old trees —” •• He’s loose!” I shouted, as I dropped the chain. In a second the agent was on the otherrTdde of tho gate. Lord Edward made a dash toward him; but, stopping suddenly, flew back to the tree of ■ the tramp. “If you should conclude, sir,” said the tree-agent, looking over the fence, “to have a row of those firs along here —” “My good sir,” said I, “ there is no row of firs there now, and the fence is Tiot yfity high. My dog, as you see, is very much cxeltedr and I-eannot answer for the consequences if he takes it into his head to jump over.” The tree-agent turned and walked slowly away. •• Charley, if you study hard, you may some day become President of the United States, like George Washington.” “ Don’t talk to me about being President!” exclaimed he. “Everybody’s going to be President. When we go to school,-the first thing the teacher does she calti the names of the little boys; and they all say * President.’ - College Professor (to Junior who hiw been taking advantage of his ab-sdnt-mindedness :) “ Young man, I find on looking over the records- that this ipakes the fifth time in two years that you Julvi> been granted leave of absence to attend your grandmother’s funerat” — tiatper's Bazar. jy-- . >■ A Biddeforw, Me., lady has taught her large Newfoundland dog to carry the train of her dress.