Rensselaer Union, Volume 10, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 May 1878 — He Was Moving. [ARTICLE]

He Was Moving.

At one o’clock in the -morning the police heard a great uproar on Congress street east, and they hurried to the scene to find a man lying in the road with a feather bed, a chair, a looking glass, a skirt-board and about a dozen other articles of household furniture holding him down. Under the supposition that he had stolen the things, and likewise finding him too drunk to go on, the officers took the man down. “ William Bolton,” began His Honor as the prisoner came before him, “ this is a suspicious case. You were found “Yes, I know,” interrupted the man, “ I know all about it. Those things belong to me. I was moving all dav yesterday, and that was the last load. That’s the fourth time we’ve moved in one year. No sooner do we get the carpets down and the stovepipe jammed together than my wife is anxious to move again. I’ve broken my back in putting downcarpets; cracked* my ribs lifting stoves, ana lost flesh lugging old bedsteads up stairs and down. Now, Judge, send me up! Give me the longest term you can! I want rest. I want to put in a month somewhere where I can’t hear anything about moving.” “Man of sadness,” softly replied His Honor, “I’ve been there. I know how the old thing works. I sympathize with you, and while I cannot send you up, I hope that your wife will let you have rest or that you be run over by a street car.” "Judge, drop a tear for me when you see my death in the papers!” “I will!” “ And have the papers say that moving killed me.” “I will do so, and now—move on.” —Detroit Free Press. There are two chances for 4t man in a buggy trying to drive a runaway horse. One is to jump out and be killed, and the other is to be thrown out and meet a violent death.— N. O. .Picayune.