Rensselaer Union, Volume 10, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 April 1878 — Page 3

The Rensselaer Union. KENHBKLAEK, . INDIANA.

A MAY-FLOWER. The haunting spirit of the Mny inhabit* all toe woodland way* A null tie presence in the air, A finer ijuionening everywhere, A presage of the royal day* That even now are drawing near. When earth put* on her robe of praise. When perfect love doth haoi*h rear, And heavy heart* are glad and gay. Tlie dead leave, lie beneath my feet, But hero and there eoine probing through The lovely hint* of future bloom: Young shoot* that wear an olive Bloom Above their green *o flesh and new; And some are Upped with nine and pearl, And here in the old rendezvous. All blushing, like a startled girl, 1 find, at lant, a May-flower swoet. 1 spare it with a reverent hand. Far in it* sheltered nook to hide; It mem* a consecrated thing, 'The first fair blossom of the Spring, More dear to me than all the pride That Huintnpr's lavish beauty give* When ev«ry senne i* satisfied: A grace of son I within it live*— A charm too deep to understand! —Elizabeth W. Deniton, in Sunday Afternoon.

GOING INTO PARTNERSHIP.

Mrs. Nottingham, being unable to get the means from her husband to supply her necessities, at last informed him that she should resume her profession of teaching, so as to be as indc- ' pendent as she was before she was married. “ You’re not in earnest, my dear?” said Mr. Nottingham. “Of course I’m in earnest. Why not? Do you suppose I intend to go this way, begging and praying for every farthing 1 spend? I’ve been independent once, and I can be so again.” “No; but look here!” Mr. Notting.ham had risen, and was pacing up and down rather “Mywife can’t go to teaching. What is it that you want?” “ What I canearn!” proudly retorted Mrs. Nottingham. “But put it into words.” “Well, then, look here,” said Mrs. Nottingham; “I have always done my own work and sewing. Considered as a cook, I demand three pounds a month; as a seamstress, one pound; as your wife and the mother of your children, at least ten pounds more. And then I shall not consider myself properly compensated,” “Whew-w-w! Let me see—it’s nearly £2O ’a month!” “I consider my services as worth that, at least,” said Mrs. Nottingham, with dignity; “ but if you would rather hire a housekeeper, I will prosecute my original idea of opening a select school.” Mr. Nottingham walked up and down the room once more, rumpling his hair into porcupine fashion with his fingers. “I’ll consult Uncle Wetherbeo, ho said. “Very well,” sipd Mrs. Nottingham, “ I’m quite willing to abide by his decision.” Uncle Wetherbeo, a bronze-visaged ex-sailor, who was comfortably smoking his meerschaum up-stairs, was summoned at once. He came down—rather slowly, on account of a wooden leg—and listened to the pleading on either side with the utmost gravity. “ D’ye want to know my opinion?” said Uncle Wetherbeo, when they both had finished. “Certainly,” said Mr. Nottingham. “Of course,” said his wife. “Then look hero,” said Uncle Wetherbec. “ Matrimony’s a copartnership of joys and sorrows, and it ought to bo of money as well. My advice is, Nephew Nicholas, that you divide evon with your wife.” “Divide —even!” blankly repeated Mr, N ottingham, “Or, better still,” went on Undo Wetherbee, “ take one-third of the money yourself, lay aside onc-tliird for household purposes, and give the other third to Phtebe.” “ Yes, but uncle ” “ You asked my advice,” said Uncle Wetherbee. “Thereit is. Audi have nothing more to say.” And off he stumped up-stairs again. Mr. Nottingham looked at bis wife. His wife looked back again at him. “ Well,” said Phoebe. ' “ I will try it,” said Mr. Nottingham. “ It seems a wild idea, but Uncle Wetherbee is a remarkably sensible man. Yes, I’ll try it.” And for the next three years Mr. Nottingham remained in partnership with his wife on these unusual financial conditions. “Though for the life of me, I can’t see what you do with all your money,” said he to his wife. “ The very idea that has often suggested itself to me in regard to your money,” retorted Mrs. Nottingham, laughingly. ■ r ■ “ I had intended to buy a house for you, if it hadn’t been for this unexpected appropriation of my funds,” said

“lean wait, dear,” said his wife, serenely. “All in good time.” * But ono afternoon Mr. Nottingham came home early from business and rushed up to Uncle Wetherbeo’s room. “My dear uncle,” said he, “that houso of Falkirk's is in the market at -forced sale. Such a bargain! Only £600!” “ Why don't you Wiy it, then?” said Mr. Wetherbee, .scooping fresh tobacco ■out of his jar. •*-- “ Because I’ve only been able to lay tip four hundred out of that dcueedly small allowance of mine,” said Mr. Nottingham. “Ever sinee I divided with Phoebe, according to your suggestion ” “Yes,” nodded Uncle Wetherbee, “ according to my suggestion ” “I’ve been a comparatively poor man,” sighed Mr. Nottingham. “Ono can't lay up anything on such "a pittance as that.” “ Perhaps your wife thinks so, too," chuckled Uncle Wetherbee. “Oh, that's altogether a different matter,” said Mr. Nottingham. “I’ve been thinking I ought to reconsider that affair.” Uncle Wetherbee stared intently at his wooden leg, and said nothing. “But,” added Mr. Nottingham, “ about the Falkirk place? It’s a little gem of a house, and I've always wanted a house of my own. This rentpaying business don’t altogether suit me. And , 1 could give a mortgage for the £2OO if you would allow me to use your name as seourity.” “ Oh, certainly, certainly!” said Uncle Wetherbee, “ use it as much as vou like.” And Mr. Nottingham went off rejoicing. Bat Wiggs & Sangster, the agents in charge of the Falkirk place, were exultant when he arrived. “ Four hundred pounds and a mortSge for the balance is very well,” said r. Sangster, “ but they had had

another offer this morning—of oaah down! And they had considered it their duty to Mr. Falkirk to close with it. Very sorry—but perhaps they might suit Mr. Nottingham with some other pie<9 of property.” Mr. Nottingham went home sadly dispirited. " What’s the use of trying* to save money?” said he. “ I’m going to give up after this!” “ I don’t agree with you there, dear,” said Mrs. Nottingham. “I’ve been saving money for tno last throe years, and Pve found it pays.” “You havoP” said her husband. “Of course I have. Do you suppose I spent all the money? Not a bit of it. I put the best part of it out at interest, always following Uncle Wetherbee’s advice in my investments, and I’ve bought a house with it!” “What houseP” Mr. Nottingham’s eyes opened wider and wider.

“The Falkirk house,” said Mrs. Nottingham, her lips and choeks dimpled all over with satisfaction. “I completed the bargain to-day. My dear”—stealing one arm around her husband’s neck —** how do you think I have held up my end of the business partnership r” “ Better than I could have done myself, Phoebe,” said Mr. Nottingham, with a curious moisture coming into his eyes. “My plucky little wife, lam proud of you!” “ It was your money, Nicholas,” said the wife, in a faltering voice. “ But it was your prudence and economy that stored it up, Phoebe.” “Then you don’t regret the terms and articles of our partnership?” So the young couple moved into the Falkirk house when tho first of May eame around, and the coziest room in the house, with a south window and an open fireplace for a wooden fire, was reserved for Uncle Wetherbee. And Mr. Nottingham is never tired of telling his friends his wife bought the place with her share of the partnership profits. “ The most charming woman in the world,” says Mr. Nottingham.

Breach of Promise.

According to the London News, the latest case in England of breach of promise of marriage, that of Heap against Morris, does not add much glory to a sort of action which, if a bill now pending in the House of Commons becomes a law, is doomed soon to disappear. In this affair the ordinary relations of the parties were reversed; it was the man who sued tho woman for her breach of contract. There could be no sort of doubt as to the fact of the contract. An agreement was signed by the parties whereby the defendant agreed to become the lawful wife of the plaintiff on or about the lstof January, 1875. In default the defendant was to pay a third share of the property which might be left to her under the will of her parents. She was to pay more than this if she did not espouse her business-like wooer. She was to pay him SIOO per annum at the end of 1875, S2OO at the end of 1876, S4OO in 1877, and so on, in a sort of martingale, always doubling till the lady died, or married, or perhaps became bankrupt. In the tenth year this sum would be over $50,000 a year. It is not very easy to see how the impassioned lover, whose surname was Heap, and whose Christian name for aught we know may have been Uriah, induced Miss Marris to enter into this singular bond. The parties had known each other for a long time. Mr. Heap first made the acquaintance of Miss Marris when he was Second Master at Caistor Grammar School, in 1857 or 1858. The father of Miss Marris was a solicitor practicing in the neighborhood. In 1862 the Head Master of the school died, and the plaintiff hoped to obtain his place. He failed, ana it seems the father of Miss Marris opposed and prevented the appointment. Ten years after this the singular contract was signed which we have described, and which was perhaps suggested to Mr. Heap as a schoolmaster by his recollection of the arithmetical problem about the nails in a horse’s shoe. For tho defendant it was alleged that the contract was to be invalid in certain circumstances, but the defense was not proved. A private arrangement was made between the parties, and 4he aggrieved Mr. Heap accepted the sum of $5,000 as full compensation to his injured feelings. The result seems curious till we learn, from the statement of tho defendant’s counsel, that his client was willing to pay $5,000 rather than to allow her letters to be produced in court. “Certain arrangements had also beou made as to the future disposal of tho documents.” Mr. Heap thus wins his case and gets his mohey, and Miss Marris recovers her letters. Thus we see how noble an institution is that which permits suits for breach of promise of marriage.

Partial Muscular Development.

Any careful observer, passing along our busier thoroughfares, or happening intb v Hny country town on market-day, or anywhere else where men congregate, can hardly have failed to notice that while there arc many strong ones and many hearty ones, there arc very few who are either thoroughly erect or well-proportioned throughout. And when it is remembered that the large majority of men in this country are sous of farmers, merchants, mechanics, or laborers, it is not difficult to accouht for this onc-sidedness of build and indifferentcarriage. For, while the fanner’s work is vigorous and in the open air, far the greater part of it, and especially the harder part of it, instantly uses his back, and does but little for his front, and particularly for the front of his chest. Mowing stoops him over and rounds his back; so do spading, and hoeing, and weeding, and lifting of nearly every sort. His back grows thick and strong, perhaps massive; so do some of the muscles of his arms, of his abdomen, and of his legs, until they soou so outstrip the others that his spine, getting once crooked from being so long ana so firmly held in one position, never gets out of it day or night While his whole Work strengthens, it also stiffens him. Ho is seldom a good walker, the habit of always hitching up, though the errand is to a place hardly a mile away, contributing to this stiffness, found, as it usually is, with an inerect position as he rides, so unlike, by-the-way, that which is so common among the English stage-drivers, who elicited praise from Emerson for their dignified grandfatherly air. Few of the mechanic arts are any more favorable to symmetrical development and uprightness of carriage. The blacksmith, like the farmer, works some muscles tremendously; those of his hands, cf one of his shoulders and of one of his arms, for instance; but his legs are often indifferent, and his loins nothing great, while, in common

with hosts of mechanics, his work is not done in the open air. Painters and plasterers have good wrists; carpenters plane and saw and drive nails well with their right hands; masons, with backs bent, lift heavy stones, which, with one of their hands, they have ohiselod into shape for their purpose; shoemakers hoop their hacks rather more successfully than any other trado; and tho jewelers, compositors, designers, and all who do the finer, Itghter work, would never, merely by their daily toil, develop into well-built, erect men if they kept at it for a thousand yoars. Men in mercantile life Bit or stand many hours each day, are frequently burdened with important and trying work, have so many irons in the fire as to get no rest, and at the end of the day find themselves thoroughly exhausted, and in humor for anything but vigorous muscular exertion. If their work calls them out much, it uses their legs only, leaving the Arms idle, and so keeping the development but Eartial. The spade, tho pick and the ar of the laboring-man keep him stooped over in spite of all he can do, and ne lives and dies, as Charles Reade described him in his admirable sketch of the brave blind swimmer of the Scottish firth, James Lambert —a man with a slouch in his gait.— William Blaikic, in Harper's Magazine for Mag.

INCIDENTS AND ACCIDENTS.

, —Edward W. Chase, of North Parsonfield, Me., shot himself fatally recently on account of depression and fright caused by a false report that he was to be arrested for setting fire to a neighbor’s barn. —While trying a new boiler-cleaner at Beecher’s sugar refinery, in St, Louis, the other morning, the barrel which receives the mud and water after it has come from the boiler, exploded, throwing the mud and water over Mr. Erskine, the Superintendent, and Joseph Kelly, the engineer, severely scalding them from their waists down; the skin peeling off' and their clothes sticking so tightly to them that their cries of agony could be heard several blocks away. —A tramp who was stealing a ride in an empty car the other night on the Erie Road attempted to jump off at Oxford. A hook on the side of the car, used for fastening the door, caught the unlucky fellow’s clothing at the waist and suspended him in mid-air. The train dashed on and he was caniecT to Greycourt, three miles distant, when some one saw him, stopped the train immediately, and the man was taken from his very dangerous position. There was not a scratch on his person, but the mental suffering he had endured, expecting momentarily to be dashed to pieces, completely overcame him.

—A horrible accident occurred near Rome, N. Y., the other day. A man named George Howser, fifty-six or fiftyseven years of age, was running a circular Saw in the saw-mill owned by his son. In leaning over the saw to pick something up, he slipped and fell on the saw. His left hand was cut off at the wrist, and his arm was caught by the saw and mangled, all the flesh ana tendons bcing stripped from the bone, leaving it nearly bare, from the wrist to the shoulder. In his struggles to lift himself clear Of the saw, he brought his right hand in contact with it, and the fingers of that hand were cut completely off at the knuckle joints, leaving only the thumb. —Some fifty years ago two clockmakers, Phillips and Brown, resided at Hopkinton, N. H. The former spent $8 for a ticket in a foreign lottery, but, growing weak-hearted ere the drawing took place, sold it to Brown for $4. Brown vainly endeavored to sell it to a farmer for a $2 load of hay, and had it when it drew a prize of $25,000. The money reached him in due course, and Brown nearly lost his wits. For the first two nights he fancied that robbers were prowling round the house; he took the money to the woods in the dark and hid it in a hollow tree. When he came to look for it the forest bore by day so different an aspect that he could not find the hiding place lie had chosen, and it was not till some days later that the almost distracted man chanced upon his treasure. With it finally he made investments in real estate which did not prove remunerative as far a® concerned himself and family, and in a few years his $25,000 dwindled away, and lie was not as well off as he would have been had he never drawn tho prize.

—While Engineer Brown was backing his engine, the Monson, down to the New London depot to attach it to the morning steamboat train a little before four o’clock, he saw, through the darkness, an engine coming up the track on which ho was. It was proceeding at a quite rapid rate of speed that threatened a collision. He reversed his engine and sent her ahead, timing his speed so that when the advancing engine finally struck his own, at a point near the drawbridge, the shock was but slight. He then ’clambered along the boiler platform of the colliding engine, which was the Konomoc, and shut off its steam, having, meantime, shut oft’ that in the Monson. It appears that while the Konomoc was standing at the freight depot some miscreant detached it fipm the train of eight freight cars to which it was attached, and set it in motion. As it went on it gathered speed, and but for the accidental meeting and fortunate stoppage by the Mons jn it would have dashed up the road and stopped nobody knows where.—New London {Conn.) Telegraph. The Gramme magnetic-electric machine has now for a considerable time past been employed for supplying light at the houses of Parliament in London, and an idea of its pow er may be gathered from the fact, as stated', that it is worked by a steam engine at a distance of some 480 feet from the point at which the light is produced, the current being conducted thither bv copper wires ono-sixth of an inch in diameter. The magnets in the maohino ate arranged upon three massive rectangular blocks, and make 38!* revolutions per minute, at an expense of two and twothirds horse power, and give a light equal to over 3,000 English standard candles.

A YOUNG iUftn, recently married, who has been tyi enthusiastic collector of coins, found, that his wife, with the charming freshness characteristic of brides, has been drawing on his cabinet for change, ftnd, among other things, had passed out an old penny for which he f aid $3.50, for a conts' worth of yeast. That yeast “raised’! more in that household than any previous investment of the same amount -of money. ■*„_ V ’ »i I 1 ! ( No Opil’M l So Morphia or other dangerous drug Is contained ,1a Dr. Bull’s Baby Syrup, for the relief of Colic, Teettyng, etc. Price. 35 cents. _

HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.

—The best farmer is the farmer who cultivates himself. —A good garden is the imperative demand of every farmer’s family, and Iho privilege of every farmer. —English experience is that the consumption of a ton of roots produces, on the average, fourteen pounds of mutton or of beef —A pail of milk standing ten minutes where it is exposed to tho scent of a strong smelling stable or any other offensive odor will imbibe a taint that will never leave it. —Tho manure, if all saved, from a ton of hay and economically returned to the land, will grow more* than a ton next year. If this were not so our agriculture would bo a humbug, and the world would starve. — N. Y. Herald. ' —Minute Pudding.—Put three pints of sweet skimmed milk over the fire in a porcelain kettle, or something that wul a good deal more than hold it. Salt it, and the minute it boils stir in rapidly as much flour as it will moisten. Tako it quickly from the fire and serve hot, with butter and sugar or sirup. —Apple Cake.—Take two cups dried apples; stew just enough to chop easily; chop as fine as raisins and boil in two cups of molasses till preserved through; drain off the molasses, then add two eggs, one cup of butter, one cup of sour milk, two teaspoonfuls of soda, five cups of Hour and spices of all kinds; ndd tho apples and ono large cup of raisins the last thing.

—lce-Cream Cake.—The whites of three eggs, two cups sugar, one of sweet milk, half cup butter, three cups flour, two teaspoonfuls cream-tartar, ono of soda. This makes two loaves. Bake in four layers, use two for each cake; season to taste. Icing —the whites of two eggs, twenty-four teaspoonfnls sugar, one-fourth teaspoonful creamtartar; frost both layers. This a cheap cake and very nice, good enough to take to socials or eat at home. —Tapioca Pudding.—Ono cup tapioca, one quart milk, five eggs, whites and yelks beaten separately, two tablespoons of melted butter and two of sugar. Soak the tapioca in enough cold water to cover it two hours, drain off water not absorbed, soak two hours in the milk slightly warmed. When the tapioca is quite soft beat the sugar and butter together; add the yelks, the milk and tapioca, lastly the whites. Stir well. Bake in a buttered dish. Eat warm with a sweet sauce.

—Tho lowa State Register publishes the following bits of agricultural wisdom: Wealth is accumulated more in saving than by earning. Manual labor is the original and di-vinely-appointed mode of living. Asparagus-seed has a hard hull, consequently it should be soaked for twen-ty-four hours in warm water. Never attempt to find a country where you can farm aud get rich without hard labor and active brains. If you want to make a rich farm, sow clover. If you want fat cattle, sow clover. If you want a fat purse, sow clover. Never pay a man for his time, but very liberally for his labor. One of the poorest saws ever uttered was that “time is money.” Rotted sods from the pasture, and rotted cow-manure, well and thoroughly' mixed, make good soil for potting flowers. There is no longer any excuse for able-bodied pauperism. Millions of acres of fruitful soil, lying idle, invite them afield. They who have nothing to do, or will do nothing, are the most wretched of mortals, and their virtue is always doubtful. Be with the cows. Every excitement jjjfc causes the blood to How faster ■MHflMns of the cow, every inflict ioiMPHfn and every cause of fear, fans, in that cow, the fire which is" fed with butter.

Deaconing Calves.

This is a barbarous, but it seems to be a necessary, practice. A large proportion of the calves are each year knocked in the head, or “ deaconed,” as it is called, at a very early stage of their oviatAnee. The question sometimes arises, how soon should the Cow be deprived of her calf? Then the question follows, what is the effect upon the cow of killing her young offspring? It is a violation of the plain intent of nature, and a shock to her natural instincts—is the effect injurious to the cow? Of course the calf is killed out of purely mercenary considerations. Near large cities, where there id a read}' demand for veal at remunerative prices, it may pay to fat the calf, giving it a liberal supply of new milk at first, and gradually introducing skimmed milk, oil-mcal, shorts or corn-meal into its food, as it becomes able to bear it. By the time it is fit for veal, it is pretty thoroughly weaned from the cow and the cow from it. But even when fatted for veal, the question arises, how long is it best to let it draw its food from the cow’s udder? Some say only once or twice, or until the milk gets fit for use; some say for a week or ten days, and some let it suck until it is fit for veal.

If the cow and calf are to lie separated at all, it would seem to be better to separate them very soon. The longer the calf runs with the cow, the more she gets attached to it, and the more her nervous system is shocked by the separation when it comes. If deaconed at onco, never perhaps getting upon its feet, and taken immediately from the sight of the cow, she seems to mind very little about it. If she does not see it at all, she does not seem to mind it all; and many men of experience and good judgment think it better to never let the calf suck, while some think it actually injurious to let the calf suck and bunt the inflamed udder. Ywt Uus. would seem to be the provision of Nature. We should bear in mind, however, that the cow is kept in such an artificial condition, and the development and activity of the milk glands are so stimulated that Nature is completely perverted. Hence may follow inflammation and swelling that mako it actually injurious to follow out the dictates of Nature in letting the calf suck. Some of the breeders of fancy stock allow the calf to suck only a few days, and then wean it and teach it to drink, while others keep cows from common' 1 stock as nurses for these calves. All, both breeders and dairymen, find it desirable to separate the calf from the cow at an early day. Th.e united testimony seems to favor the earliest separation as the best for the cow. When the separation is immediate, before any special attachment has been awakened, the cow turns her affections on her milker, pnd seems entirely satisfied

with this. After all, perhaps this Is about as near the natural oonditlon of tho cow as wo can get. She has been bred to this treatment for centuries, until she has become naturalized or reconciled to it, as the old woman’s eels got used to skinning. The disposal of the carcasses' of doaconed calves is of some importance. They should by no means be allowed to lie around the barn in sight of the cows, tainting the air as they slowly decay. If consigned to tho manure heap, they should he burled in it and not thrown on it, and some sort of absorbent should bo thrown on and around them to t ake up and retain the gases as they are eliminated in the process of decomposition. There is no doubt considerable fertilizing material in these carcasses. If they could be at once reduced to the form of a commercial fertilizer, it would be a good thing. The meat is sometimes saved and dried and used for feeding fish. It is said to be food for this purpose. American dairyman.

Wheat Market.

There are so many complications in tho market—so many rings and combinations with the wheat dealers—so many pools and variations in railroad and ocean freights—so many war rumors or peace prospects, circulated to affect prices, that no one knows what is the future prospect or probability of wheat. The questions to be decided in settling the subject of raising or holding whoat are so many-sideu and abstruse —so profound and recondite, that the opinions of commercial and agricultural editors are of as little use in directing farmers as are the opinions of Tice ana Couch in foretelling tne weather. And yet a gentleman and scholar (like ourselves) does not want to show any want of decision in replying to anxious inquirers. A good, earnest farmer, who has 2,000 bushels of wheat on hand, inquires whether he had “better sell now, or hold until the results of the European war-clouds are settled.” To show our decision, we would say we think he had better. Many would not give sucli advice without feeling some-misgivings. But one who has been studying the, wheat question as closely as the writer has for a quarter of a century, ought to bo as positive as to the future of that valuable commodity as are the ablest divines at the present day about the question of future rewards and punishments. We assure our earnest correspondent that there are some questions in commerce as well as theology that the more we inquire and investigate the less we know. But while we. are returning to the clumsy old dollar, let us try some of the old practices of our fathers. Our friend should go to his barn, and draw around him on the floor with chalk twelve circles, and write on each circle one of the months of the year. Then shutting his eyes, repeat: “ Let spit, spat, ruling Fate, Tell me when to sell my wheat.” Then spit in his left hand, and strike the spit with two fingers of his right hand, and whatever circle the spit falls on will be the month to sell the wheat. And you will be sure to get your pay in the dollar of the fathers. —lowa State Register.

A Tramp’s Dinner.

The New York Sun tells a good story of a sad-eyed tramp who accosted several well-known New Yorkers in Park Row. They gave him rcpellant glances, and he was about to move away when Campbell’s heart was touched by the manner of the stranger. “You look hungry,” said he. “Go right into Moynahan’s and order what you want, and I’ll pay for it.” A dubious smile broke over the careworn face. “ They’ll think I’m lying and kick me out,” was tho reply. “I’ll make that all right,” said the benevolent Campbell, turning to Moynahan. “Here, Patsey, you give the poor fellow what he wants, and I’ll foot the bill.” The sad-eyed tramp murmured his thanks and followed Moynahan into the dining-saloon. He took his seat at the table, called fqr a napkin, ate for an hour and twenty minutes, and departed. The following is the bill: What he got. What Campbell paid. A porterhouse steak $ 60 Lyonnais potatoes 10 Plato of raw tomatoes 15 Plate of fried oysters 80 Two pots of coffee A) Dish of brook trout 75 A littlelolister-salad. • 40 Some extra potatoes 20 A Charlotte ltusse 10 A quart bottle of dry Verzenay 8 0) Puisse case 20 A mild Reina Victoria 25 One bundleof toothpicks 5 T0ta1...v..... ...tfi 30 Campbell paid the footing, hut declared that in the future he shouldlimit all tramps to corned beef and cabbage.

The Latest Trick of Trade.

The Miller gives an account of a new trick where one would think it impossible to make a point. For instance, good honest wheat is good the world over.. But it is not so good when it has gone through the hands of a manipulator who oils it. The practice now obtains to a considerable extent on the Continent. It is stated that wheat, which in its natural condition would weigh 123 Dutch pounds, by the process of oiling will gain about six pounds, or from 10 to 12 per cent., in weight more than there rQtlly is of wheat. The gain on the part of the dishonest seller is from twenty shillings to twentylive shillings per ton. Tlie apparent increase in the specilic gravity is obtained by an outlay for rape oil of about four pence. Wheat thus treated can never be made into good flour. The practice is not confined to wheat alone, but is applied to all grain sold by weight. Of course the adulteration can be easily detected. But wheat oiled ip .this way is really a handsomer grain in appearance than when no such application has been made. It has been possible to adulterate flour and sugar. But who ever heard before of a process for adulterating wheat before milling? In this country', vyhere wheat is so cheap, it is not likely that the cheat will obtain very mytensively. But in times when the price is extremely high, if there coula be a gain of say $5 per ton as in Europe, there might be a great deal of oiled wheat. As a trick of trade this is the latest novelty.—Ban Francisco Bulletin.

An electrician in Austin, Nev., has devised an “ improvement” on tjie telephone, which he calls the “ kissograph.” This infernal noveltv makes it possible for an absent husband to pass osculations to a wife—or, horrible thought! to anyone else—though miles and miles intervene. Happy limitation, however. The Reveille says: “ s To make use of it for kissing another man’s wife disarranges the instrument and creates a current whiuh sets the steam whistle* to blowing and the fire-bells to ringing.” „

Thk New York Telegram thus speaks of painted females: “These nuisances are becoming more intolerable and numerous than ever. What do these women mean—many of them wrinkled and ruddied anti old—bv flaunting their features smeared with cosmetios in full jriew on Broadway, and advertising their ugliness and brazen ness to the world P” The first thing a wife dees now when her husband dies is to run over to his office aud inquire of the clerks, in smothered tones, “ How much insurance did tho old man have on his lifeP And was tho last premium paidP” etc. Sic morta est!—Chicago Times.

Signs.

People who still adhere to the look-at-your-tongue-and-feel-of-your-pulse doctor sometimes express not a little curiosity In regard to Di. R.V. Pierce’s original method of distinguishing all forms of chronic disease without Eersonai consultation. Some even suppose that e accomplishes this through clairvoyance, or some other species of professional Jugglery. All this Is utterly false. He claims to determine disease by the rational methods of science only. Says Comley, In his Biographical Encyclopedia of New York State, shaking of this distinguished physician: “ lie perceived that In each of the natural sciences the investigator proceeds according to a eyetetn of eigne. The geologist In his cabinet accurately determines and describes tho cleft of rock, which he has never seen, from the minute specimen on his table. Ana tho chemist In his laboratory notes the constituents of the sun with the same precision that he analyzes a crystal of rock salt. The analogous system developed by Dr. Pierce In Medical Science Is worthy of his genius, and has made his name Justly celebrated.” For a full explanation of this Ingenious system of diagnosis, see the People’s Common ’Sense Medical Adviser, sent, postpaid, to any address on receipt of ono dollar and fifty cents. Address the author, R. V. Pierce, M. 1)., Buffalo, N. Y. In old times, when tohnoco was manufactured from only the best leaf grown in Virginia, there was an article put, up in kegs called "Nigger Head Twist.” Messrs. W. S. Kimball A Co., of Rochester, N. Y.. the manufacturers of the famous Vanity Fair Tobacco and Cigarettes, have reproduced this Nigger Head, and prepared it in papers under two brands—one, dark and heavy, called Nigger Head: the other, light and mild, called Bull's Eye. These are genuine cut cavendish, and are the most economical tobaccos the working-man can use. One pound is said to lie equal to a pound and a half of common smoking tobacco. . ,

A Word to the Wise.

We wish to caution purchasers of Dooley's Yeast Powder ngainst. buying It in bulk or loose. It Is the practice of unscrupulous grocers and dealers to keep cheap, Inferior, and generally highly-lnjurious baking powder In bulk, and sell It for the genuine Dooley’s Yeast Powder, or any other brand that Is called for. Buy it only In elms, as it is not sold In bulk.

Mothers, mother*, mother*. ■Don’t fail to procure Mum. Winslow’s Soothino SYRur for all diseases of teething in children. It relieves the child from pain, cures wind colic, regulates the bowels, and, by giving relief and health to the child, gives rest to the mother. Tuk “Poultry World,” Hartford, Conn., la the leading magazine of itsdass, 11.25 a year; 13 superb CnnoMOS mailed for only 75c. additional. AU fowl-breeders should have it. Subscribe now for 1878. It is best and cheapest. 10c. sample No. War of 1813 Soldier* and Widow* Pensioned for 14 days’ service. Write Col. L. Binoham <fc Co., Attorneys for Pensions, Patent s, Land Titles, Washington, D. C. Particulars regarding Electric Belts free. Address Pul vermacher Galvanic Co., Clncln.,o.

NATURE'S REMEWrV fEaETIKpJ Dyspepsia. Nervousness and General Debility. CINCINNATI, 0., April 9,1877. Mb. H. K. Stevens : Dear Sir—l have used several bottles of Vegetlne for Dyepepela, Nerroueneee, ana General Debility, and I can truly say I never had a remedy so sure In Its effects; therefore I may recommend It to ail sufferer*. W. L. HELL, Walnut Hills. 41 Court Street Vegetlne h Sold by All Druggists.

AT this season of the year the human system Is liable to become disordered from the Insufficient efforts of tho liver to discharge the excess of bile. If nature to not assisted In her efforts, severe billons attacks, or prostrating fevers necessarily follow, causing greet suffering and even death. A little timely precaution, however, will prevent all this, and may be found in that favorite household remedy, SIMMONS’ LIYKB BEGDLATOB. Simmons’ Liver Regulator has been In uae for half a century and there to not one single Instance on record where It has failed to effect a cure when taken In tl me, according to the directions. It to without doubt the greatest U ver Medicine in the world; to per fectly harmless, being carefully compounded from rare roots and herbs, containing no mercury or any injurious mineral substance. It takes the place of quinine and calomel, and has superseded these medicines to places where they have heretofore been extensively used. Pro. cure a bottle st odc« from your druggist, do not delay; give It a fair trial, and you will be more than satisfied with the result obtained. CAUTION! 1 V As there are a number of Imitations offered to die public, we would caution the community to buy no Powders or Prepared SIMMONS’ UVEH KEUULATOK, unless in oilr engraved wrapper, with Trade - Mark, Stamp and Signature unbroken. None other to genuine. ORIGINAL AND GENUINE. MAHUFACTUBBD ONLY BT J. H. ZEILIN ft CO.. PHILADELPHIA. PA Pried, ft I .00. Sold by *ll Dntgglsts.

tletur from Kev. John I cannot but regard the discover* of Fellows’ Hypophosphltes as a matter of devout thankfulness to a benign Providence. I have used It mjself, and also recommend It to others, and Invariably found It to be of meentlal benefit In bronchial and other chest affections, in arresting Incipient consumption, and In lessening the distressing symptoms of this disease In Its hope--I<M gtajres. as well as In cases of nervousdebility.lnglvlngtooeto the astern Hlsundoubtedl, avJuah.^^ Newport N. a The 8t John Telegraph says: •' The Invention of Fellows' Hypophoephltee has become one. of the valuable Indutlrtes of the country, unique of its kind, and a credit to the Dominion of Canada.’’ Poorer of Npcuklng Restored. NJTWABH, Ont, D. C„ March SO. 1870. Two months Ago my son lost his voice. Non© of the prvsidans could do him any good 1 obtained a bottle of Fellows* Compound Syrup of HypophospitMec, and, strange to say. my son's voice was restored two hours SagW-koaeco..,! o.«c., ixAfl mt Take It Easy. Common-Sense VgaMß Chairs and Rockers, With or without Heading Table. For sale by tho trade. Manufact’d by F. A. Sinclair, Mottvtlle, N. V. Sra . - Send stamp (or Illustrated PriceI.lsL Bo carelul that the chairs are stamped with my name In full ; others are DQTATioits. _

—■■■— Wonders, and so does ■ ■■E BUNT’S HKSKDV. Complaints are cured by WUnlVd i®nVA n SoS» THY HUNT’S HKIKDY. Bend for pamphlet to . WM. K. CLARKS. Providence. K. 1. H Warranted a perfect cure Ibran the woretfvrm* at Pius, Lrprooi, Scßori LA, Bind Worm, SALT Rhkum, Cam**, CATARRH, BHR^MATtS^^rmtA^UT^^ HrEfiL 1 ** 4

THE ORIGINAL* ONLYOEIUI»E • “Vibrator” Threshers, WITH IMfIOW . MOUNTED HORSE POWKM, And St*aai Thrasher f*gl*s^ Made only by lIOHOIB, SHEPARD A CO., BATTLE CHEEK, SICS. THK MstchleaTWris^nrissTTlmel I bavin*, and Monoy-Bavin* Thrashers of this 4my SBd 9 mutrstton. Beyond sll Bltrslnr for ttapld Work, fs> fool Osanlnff, sad for f)svlu« Ur tin from WssUf e. a RAIN Raiser* will sat Submit tee the •normoui w*st*«e of OraltvA Ilia Inlartor work 4mm hy tho other machines, wltaa ones posted am tho diflfcrsnc*. THK KNTIRK Threahlag Expense* (and often S to ft Timas that can ba motio hy tba Jtxtr* Qrsls SAVED by thaso Improved Mac hi a—, NO Revolving Shaft* Inside the See*rstor. Kutlrrly free It ora Banters. Pickers, lUtMtoft, sad oil such Umo-wsotint ami (rsla-wastlnr complications. Parfectljr adapted to sll Kinds and C<. n <llttou» Of Orals, Wot sr Dry, Long or Shot t, Hsadad itr Bound. NOT ealy Vastly fiarerlar far Wheat. Outs, Barlay, Itye, snd ilka Grains, but tho o«LV BseooMfsl Thrasher In Flat, Timothy, Mlllot, Clovor. ssd llko floods. Requires no “ sttscbiiMßts ” or ** robtilldluc '> to chants from Grain to Bsa«ls. Marvelous far simplicity or p*rt«, using Isss Hum ons-list 1 tho usual Bolts and Goars. Makes no LHtorinfS or BcattorlnfS. FOUR Bliosof Bopkfttkfi Blkdcy f Ing from Mx to Twelve lfor»e also, and two sty lea of * Mounted Horse Powers to match. STEAM Power Thrmhene* Specialty. A special sire Me par* tor niada erpreaaly tor h team rower. OCR Unrivaled Steam Thresher KbClnftft, With Valuable Improvements sod Distinctive Features, for beyond say other make sr kind. IN There*ah Workmaeshl*. Klegant Finish, perfection of Farts, Completeness of (equipment, etc., our “ViBBAToa” Thresher Outfits are lacompiarabte. FOR Particulars, call on ear Dealer* or write to ua tor JUumruled Circular, whlrJi we mall frank

Graefenberg Vegetable PILLS Bara bass acknowledged for eras Thirty Year* to be a certain core for HE AD A CHS, LIVES COMPLAINTS, DISEASES Or DIGESTION, BILIOUSNESS, AND FEVERS OF ALL KINDS. These PILLS net with great mildness, nnd will restore health to those suffering from GENERAL DEBILITY and NERVOUSNESS- Price 25c. per Bag Solid for Almn^iff QraefepbergCo.s6 ReadeSt N. Y IsellerTuve^illbl m Sellers' Liver Pills have stood for Thirty years a M % Standard Remedy for the core of Liver Complaint, m m Costlvenesa, Btek Headaches, and all Derange- m W moots of the Liver. fl m ” Sellers’Vermifuge, the great Worm De-M m strayer, expelled 400 inrge, live worms from my m # child, fl years old. Win. Server, BL Louis. Mo. Price M m each, 25c. If your druggiet don't keep them, send for m ADVERTISERS VBSIBIXO TO BMC AC a Tie HEADERS of THIS STATE CAN DO 80 IN THE Cheapest and Best Manner ST ADbISMUT* E. E. PRATT, V 9 Jaokson Street. Obloaseo*

TTUVTEB’S and TRAPPER’SIV Illustrated Practical Guide.—t annins and rilteahootIns; making and using tram, snarca and nets; baits and baiting: preserving, stretching, (Leasing, tanning ana dyeing suns and fun;ltoblng, etc. W Jififty engravings, Me cents. Taxidermist* Manual, 60. Dog Training, 25, Of bookseller* or bjamall. __ JE3SK HANEY A CO- 119 Nassau BL. M. T. U»iaOcimoNi»T’s journal JIJ gives choicest standard and new pieces for profee slonal and amateur Headers aud Speakers. IV cents at any newsdealer or by mall. „ „ _ JESSE HANEY * CO.. 119 Nasaan St.. N. T. reamresfflEsl MI A fit KaCsta **T buel, cook a seixas, O/ Manor Ys and Wholesale Dealer*. JK/ HTDont fall to examine Goods and Price* when Hr Chicago. Stock New and Bought for wm Cash. Great Inducements to Cash Buyers. H K. Buxl, late with M. Sets A Co., Chicago. C. F. Cook, I Late of Wh tney. Cook 4ft, H. L. 6«rx**. 1 N-w York PIJNOS&nRGjINS PBICBAGreat Reduction to done out present ► tock vs 300 New and Meeond-Hand I net ruin- nts njr live ftist-elass makers, tally warranted anti at prices that PKPY CONPKTI'tIOH tar this GANN and PIAXiR. Illustrated fatalorur, Railed. HORACE WATERS A HOIS. Railufscturt rs and Dealeiw, 40 Kaat 14th Rtrect, New A ark. Ilex *307. Also General Agents for HHOIIXGKR’H Celebrated FREXIII OKOARH. ~ S S4O ©Lrpw filj 0 CAN BE MADK m.j Every Day! . - IWSUL using the Tirrire Wki.i. BonrNo snd ■* J —Rock Dsiui.NOMachine. The labor 13 all done by horse. No Patent Bight swindle. You get your money's worth la machinery and tools. Circulars ftve. Address. LOOMIS dc NYX.tR, TUX*. Okie. " ~ THIS MKW TRUSS ■LddWa _JalHua Fad diffwfsg from sllotbml* v>d> UCI-Adjuslinsßsa la Malar, adapta itacif Si all po«I----TWifmsisi rs tiou ofdia body, shlla tba ball is a H “>• eu, rresae* back u» to■aearaly day and nistt, sad a radioal anr* eartaia. ItUaasy, garahtaana ehasp. Rent by nail. Circular* free. EGGLESTON THUSS CO, CHICAGO. ILL. BEFORE BUYING OR RERtSiXH A CABINET OR PARLOR OR6AN Be sure to send for our LATEST Cataloops and CutcviJUts. with NEW* riLks, mirciD frktb and much Information. Sent free. MASON k HAM UN OKU AN GO, Boehm. New York or Chicago.

»SI JR lITCn A Liv, Mw.in ,v-rr county I. VV I Eli" 1' to Ilian •• fact ue an l * 11 * kr.sruc a ticl« Just pnt. eat ad. Kjr'u9iw~right given. Literal term*. Large p “flu. Small capital. 11. AOS BIS. Chirage. 111. Sll 2 S9R » day snrs* made by Agents selling v" ♦*» ou Cntomiv. Codons,Picture ACtuvawCanto. aamplvs, worth SS.saiir idatp-t'd f.>r NSe. 11 *>»t aivd CAtalcsua fraa. J. H. bUFKdKD'S SONS. » «*«, Mata. FITS Epllspiy, Falling Sickness, Positively 110 fsred hy using “Dr. llehhard’s Care.*’ No humbug. "It has cured thousands.” Sample bottle free Address J.K.Dm*LV,Chemlst,l323 Br'dway.NY ff rt P n a MONTH—Agent. Wantod-M Nu < »» 11 best-selling articles In the world; l sanip'e VVvU/u Address JAT B*onßuN,Detroit.Mfch ft f ATTTJD Send for “Clover Leaf’ (sent free) UJjU 1 lifts with valuable Information In reward to cultivating Clover. Addr-a BlrdaeU Mfg.Ca, 9o.Beod.Xnd. ORGANSaiiSSIsS ntjUTAT mm untjrj r-shot revolver, with How to build. Bample copy American Builder free. Addwat Cbaa D. Lakey, f7B Broedwqy. N-Vort. BIG S^afcwSgt^SOOW 1 Chicago! 40 sSc.*ls>nW , oust, 100. QeotgeTnnar^Aafw 1 it BMtfaagissi«y*sagg tßSSSsarasftfswffii'® 1 ® T. n. k. ~ a«i-a i. itmf vrmtrtso to aovoimttbkm*. pirate ray u»>< «m»>e We IdrcrtiseMSut sst Mis paper, .eaveclifera nice t» kn.it > tehrn and trhere thelr[ ArfAvd e>* t» are paying beet.