Rensselaer Union, Volume 10, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 February 1878 — A Qualified Witness. [ARTICLE]

A Qualified Witness.

It was at a Justice’s Court in Newhury. Jonathan Upham, Esq., was the trial Justice. The case on trial was of trespass— trespass of & serious and aggravated kind —and damages somewhat Heavy for that rural district were at stake. You should have known Judge Upham. He was a short, fat, red-faced, bald-headed man, with a red nose and heavy lips; and his flabby, dumpychin, lost itself in the repose of a most capacious white neck-kerchief. He had been a great and moving politician in his day, and even now regarded himself as the battery whence radiated about all the wires that could be operated in his Congressional District; but in these later years, since he had worn gold-bowed spectacles, and the immaculate peck-kerchief, he had been a de-

vout and constant leader in his church, and had become religiously and judicially austere. In the course of the trial Jim Fillet was called upon as a witness by the de» sense. Jim was a shock-headed, broadfaced, simple-minded fellow, somewhat shiftless, but not evil. Counsel for plaintiff objected to him. on the ground that he was not qualified. “James Fillet, 1 said the Judge, very gravely, “do vou understand the nature of an oath?'* “ Why, vans. ’Squire, I guess so." “And' «o you know what. perjury is?” “Ye mean lyin?, ’Squire?” “ Yes; I mean lying uftdor oath.” "Why in course I know what that be.” “And James, do you know where perjurers and liars are sent?” “Wa-al,” said Jim, with the very solemnity of gravity. “I know the man that told the most lies down in Sautunk last fall, was sent to Congress!” Jim was not only allowed to testify, but on his testimony the defendant was acquitted.—. Eastern Exchange.