Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 July 1877 — A Dynasty of Cooks. [ARTICLE]

A Dynasty of Cooks.

Not long agn'an interregnum of a dis-, astrons and unholy character took place within the family nf a certain literary gentleman of New York. From week to week he kept accountof the rapid changes in down-stairs government, and called his document, when finished, “Culinary Dynasty of the House of Brown, from the Reign of Bridget the Pure down to the Present Monarch.” Similarly embellished by incidental rhetorical graces, Mr.'

Brown’s list read something after the following manner: Bridget 1., surnamed the Pure. Began to reign December 1867; abdicated October, 1876, because contemplating a life of seclusion—and matrimony. Her reign was marked by great executive wisdom, clemency and economy, and its cessation caused the most sinpere regret. Succeeded by Bridget IL, a sovereign of considerable administrative power, but cursed with a most irascible disposition. Insulted her Prime Minister (Mrs. Brown), when justly rebuked bv that dignitary for her reckless consumption of butter. Popular opinion (Mr. Brown), being decidedly against her, she abdicated, November, 1876, in favor of Katharine, surnamed the Flirt, on account of the multiplicity of her suitors, a. giJdy, good-natured Queen, but wholly unfitted for her exalted position. Deposed November, 1876, and succeeded by A Regency of three days, during which Jane, a valued chamber-maid, wielded with much ability the culinary scepter. After which the kitchen was descended into by Bridget 111., a sovereign whose character previous to accession had been represented as stainless, but who early gave signs of the most revolting intemperance. Driven from the kitchen by an iffdigtant people (Mr. Brown), after an alcoholic reign of only two days, and succeeded by Mary Ellen, satirically surnamed the Skeleton, on account of her unnatural stoutness. Celebrated for her intense laziness. Deposed December, 1876, and succeeded by Margaret, popularly known as the Fiend. Threatened to ki11... her Prime Minister two hours after coronation. On the following day refused to abdicate. Resisted even the demands of the army (a policeman) who unanimously indorsed tne policy of the Prime Minister. Imprisoned for high treason December, 1876. End ‘ unknown. Succeeded by Bridget IV., surnamed the Lunatic. Her administration was chiefly distinguished by an attempt to subvert the usual methods of dining throughout her realm; causing soup to be served after fish, and meat before either. Banished after a turbulent reign of twelve hours, and succeeded by Ann, known as the Spoiler. . . . And so on, through a terrible list of wrong and outrage, the chronicle continues, at last ending in the month of February, 1877, with the following happy item: Bridget. XV., the reigning sovereign, surnamed the Culinary Antonine. Modest of demeanor, gentle in speech, wise and economical in her rule. Beloved by Minister and people. A slight difficulty with France (the children’s foreign nurse), which occurred in the early part of her reign, has now been amicably settled. The realm is at present in a most flourishing condition, and the refrigerator has never been so prosperously administered. Long live Bridget XV. I— Appleton's Journal.