Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 July 1877 — Mr. Parker Buys a Broom. [ARTICLE]

Mr. Parker Buys a Broom.

»• *hlsl> brooms at all; hehad no need of a whiskv 'itroom, and in fawWbaa Alwafyasaid he should never buy a whisk-broom, as he thought A.clothe&bMßb much preferable. “A whisk-irponu!’ sajd he, Tast evening) “ is altwja«flkffi£eja' yoii,<!onMider it as a whisk-broom, but viewed in any : ythtHtfMHjyjilk is * failure. Who ever Jjjettrdlf§hsi h*t, slhooth"■fhf r hfti*hmf.'%id pdlWainghis hoots with a whisk-broqjpa i. Now, with a clothesbrush one cau..jteir£»an all tiveko, operp-, tionsofthe toilet; therefore,” continued JUr. Parker, “ Ifhall never buy- awhiskbroOm, but, on the other hand, I'shall alWays invest my surplus capital in clothesbrushes.” Just as Parker had concluded his philiwßMqMwfnaski, an Italian,Count (in» disguise, m \ douhti) entered the room' wiftr 4trElfeftbethan niff of whiskdirooms about his neck. • ‘ 6 Buy b k' bfddm ♦"• chanted he like an echo from the once popular song. *MJ«t-out, "said Mr.-Parker.— ‘‘Nog” °° ifl Hia Italian gpnt.lprrmn MlPtoA ftf s<Kflfta|-yf-caat.,« Buy a broom f>> Jj *• won^h/alaMr. Tarker ; u seventyfive cents ii too’ much, and, besides, you you tried.” ■ “ He is sheep at seventy-sees ceilS JU Cfffiriot sell hiitt sheefpr as dat,” said the man; preparing to go. Just then another distinguished nobleman entered, wearing another Elizabethan ‘ raff of Whisk-brooms, and chanting in another key: “ Buy a broom V? The first

comer glared at his rival, who returned the compliment. ‘‘Get out,” said Mr. Parker to the newcomer. That gentleman smiled pensively, ■■>l nnlui4ing, one Of his brooms, remarked: “ Her is von us die best brooms fur unlee feefty sent. Buy a broom ?” Mr. Parker glanced at the' broom. It was Just such a one as the first one wanted seventy-five cents for. “Go away,” said Mr. Parker, stoically resisting the temptation to make a bargain; K get out; -I don’t want your broom*.” , “Dot man is von ties,” said Italian number one. “ I will sell you my broom for thirty-fetef cents,” and he cast a glance of triumph at the opposition. Mr. Parker hesitated, and went so far as to examine the brooms. “ You shall has de broom for thirtce cent; dal robber shall not sell you de broom,” shouted Italian number two. Mr. Parker fingered the two brooms. Meanwhile the Italians shook their fists at eachtother and exchanged personalities. “ You ties!” saiu one. “You robber!” said the other. “Liar!” “Scoundrel!” “Villain!” “Wretch!” Mr. Parker .began to grow excited. “I’m sure to get a bargain out of these fellow's,” said he, “ they’re so mad.” Then he spoke in a musing way, “I don’t know but I might give fifteen cents for one of these brooms.” “ It is rain,” said the first, rolling up his eyes with pathos, “ it is starvation, it is death; but you shall has de broom for twentee-feef cent.” The second man gnashed his teeth as Mr. Parker handed over,the money, and then followed number one out of the door. When the two got round the corner they leaned up against the area railing to laugh. “Dat vas a good idee, my brother, dat you has to getae ole man excite,” said the socrind nobleman. “ Vat vas de broom wort?" “ Feefteen cent,” said the first man, chuckling, and then the partners in iniquity went off together to work upon the susceptibilities of some other philanthropist. -N. Y. World.