Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 June 1877 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

TTk who Uvea to no purpose lives to a bad purpose. Early to ryes and Into to bed—the toper. 1 —Phtbidelphia Bulletin. Riches, though they may reward virtues, cannot cause them. An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded. —Pope. Tiik Cincinnati School Board didn’t decide to “ repair and elect a neWbuildiog," though one of (lie members proposed It. We don’t care a straw what Shakespeare says: “ rose by any oilier name” w-ould not “ smell as wheat.” Make an oat of this. —Norrittown Herald llark! Is that the r-r-r-racket of the mowing-machine? It Ist it is! Surgeons, Coroners, undertakers and reporters, come and view the remains!— Detroit Free Prttt. “The little darling! he didn’t strike Mrs. Smith’s baby on purpose, did he ? It was a mere accideot, wasn’t it, dear?” “ Yes, 111a, and if he don’t behave himself, i’ll do it again.” Dishes with mirror bottoms and sides are getting to be the thing with festival managers. They make one strawberry look like four or eight, and three make a heaping dishful. Chicago Journal. To-morrow Gen. Grant dines with the Duke of Wellington. If he eats all the dinners they’re preparing for him he’ll dine with the Duke of un-Wellington, too, before he gets through.— Commercial Adtier titer. Probably there isn’t half a dozen hired girls in the United States who don’t know which are their nights “out,” but the man isn’t born yet who can point to one who can explain how the nose of the water pitcher got cracked —Fulton (If. Y.) Timet.

Mrs. Quixcess advises young men to marry the women they love, and to love women not ’cause they are hau’sum or know how to play the pianer, but because they can cook, an’ air satisfied to eat a plain dinner and hev an idee of the valy of truth. Yonkert {N. Y.) Gazette. A Southern editor speaks of chickens being born.— Botton Advertiser. Well, the dictionaries define birth «s “ coming into life,” and the “Southern editor” can appeal to them, if necessary. Boston editors, of course, may si ay in their little rut and say “hatch” if they choose.— Courier-Journal. “ I tell you, sir,” said Dr. one morning to the village apothecary, “ I tell you, sir, the vox populi should not —must not be disregarded.” “What, doctor!” exclaimed the apothecary, rubbing his hands. “ You don’t say that’s broken out in town, too, lias it? Lord help us! What unhealthy times these are !”—Botton Advertiser. A man arrived in Buffalo lately, with his mother, for the purpose of putting lur in an insane asy’um. After doing so, his own conduct excited suspiciou. He said his anxiety about lii» mother had made him nervous, and that lie had noi litul his regular sleep for several nights. He was kept at the hotel over night, and the next morning was a raving maniac. The iHsr or aliUinmlng-hlrd is thus described by a Californian: “It is about as large at the top as a half dollar, and is made of Spider webs, downy feathers, with fibers of bark and shreds of cotton, all The eggs, two in number, were about the size of small white beans, and the young birds, before they were fledged, resembled bumble-bees.” It is customary for the managers of State and county fairs to offer premiums for the best patches sewn by young ladies and girls. Wc think we will make a little change in the programme and offer a large reward for the discovery of any real nice young man on a salary of less than S7OO a year, who will wear a coat or pair of trousers after they have beeu patched. —Burlington Hawk-Eye.

Vermont is a little ashamed of her Phair case, but she offers what little reparation she can, by claiming the champion scoundrel of the day. He is about eighty years old, and lias just been arrested for poisoning two hogs belonging to a neighbor. His claim to the belf does not rest on this crime, however. It appeal’s that during his four-score years ot life he has been killing cattle, burning buildings and destroying property generally. Only last year this venerable wretch was convicted of girdling fruit-trees, and escaped StatePrison by forfeiting liis bonds. He has cost the State of Vermont, his family and the community generally, more than any other man in it .—Detroit Fret Prett. Some mousing archaeologist has discovered the origin of the “ leather medal,” and redeemed it thereby from the obloquy into which it has fallen'. Sometime in the fourteenth century. King John, for the ransom of his Royal person, promised to pay Edward Ilf. of England 8,000.000 gold crowns. In order to fulfill this obligation he was reduced to the mortifying necessity of paying the expenses of the palace in leather money, the center of each piece being a little point of silver. In this he found the origin of the burlesque honor called “conferring a leather medal.” The imposing ceremonies accompanying the presentation gave fuli force, dignity and value to the leather jewel, which even noblemen were proud to receive at the hands of Majesty. A blunt correspondent of the Manchester (N. H.) Mirror says that if New England farms have run down the people who occupy them are a long way ahead in the race. “We have got on our farms to day a class of people who can cipher through the algebra, play the piano, and boast of an acquaintance with the fine arts, but they can’t work. They have got fine minds, but their bodies are sickly, puny and wqak. To talk the matter plainly, we have bred the bone and muscle out of our families until we have got a kind of human Jerseys, fine-boned, mild-eyed and nice to look at, and pete and put on exhibition, but so tender ana weak that they are fit neither for our climate, our work, or our circumstances. . . . As a farming people we are played out.” The correspondent thinks it would pay young farmers to look out for wives among the healthy German and Irish girls of the large cities, who will know how to introduce industry and frugality into the farmhouse.