Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 June 1877 — Josh Billings’ Aphorisms. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings’ Aphorisms.

Be merciful to all dumb animals; no man own git to heaven on a sore-backed horse. The grate tight is fust for bread, then batter on the bread, and then sugar on the batter. The grate secret of popularity iz to make everyone satisfied with himself first aud afterwards satiz fied with yu. The grate mistake the moat people make iz, they think more av thar cunning than they do ov tbar honesty. The uubappineee of thia Hie fteems principally to konsist in gitting everything we kan and wanting everything we hain’t got. I have finally coin to the konklalion that the best epitaff enny man kan bar, for all praktikal purposes, iz a good bank ackonnt. Paupers suffer less than mizers do—the man who don't kno whare he iz going to git liis next dinner suffers less than the one who iz anxious to kno haw much it is going tokeet him.