Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 June 1877 — Diplomatic Correspondence Between a Wary Lady and a Cautionos Lover. [ARTICLE]

Diplomatic Correspondence Between a Wary Lady and a Cautionos Lover.

People may talk as much as they please about the exquisite diplomatic skill of Gortschakoffor Bismarck in a long correspondence, but there has been one going on during the past week between a young lady who lives near Union Park and a deck in a big dry goods store downtown, which, for tact and fertility of resource, wecld extort, were it fullyknown, the admiration of all Europe and America. He has been paying the young lady very marked attention for tike last tenk months, aad as she would like to take a wedding trip to the East this summer, or else enter her suit for breach-of-promise before the courts take their vacation, she wants to hurry up things. Accordingly she has begun writing letters to him, aided by her affectionate brother who is studying lor the law; and he, being of a suspicious disposition, is giving«him most guarded replies. Last Saturday week she wrote to him as follows: Saturday, May 5. Dkabxht Howabd—Mamma will a«t>bein this evening. I shall be at home after 7:KO, and am afraid I shall be terribly lonesome if ns<one calls. Ever yours, Ada. When the young mangot this he winked and said to.himself laconically, “Not much she doesn’t,” and wrote bask: Dear Mms Asa —I regret that your vesnected mother will be abeent, as I had intended to call this evening to see if her health had improved. Your note, however, reassures me. You speak of being loneaame. Ah, I know too well the feelings, but in the company of our beloved authors, Milton, Shakespeare, Jeremy Taylor;Watts, and all those immortal friends who are never from home and sever out of temper, how<can we be lonesome? When the young woman had read this as far as “ company of our beloved;” she felt rather triumphant, but at the next word she bowed her beautiful head on her hands and burst dn to tears, saying: “He’s just as mean ae get-out.” Her brother Algernon read it reflectively, and said: “ lie demurs; we must join action and plead to the junisdiction. This is a deep Sis; he doesn’t wear his sting upon his but I’ll fetch him.” Then she dried her tears and wrote: It was unkind of yeu not to come last night; but Ferdinand was tare, and stayed till nearly eleven. He is such a darling fellow; I just dote upon him. But don't .be jealous. The Babbathbells are ringing sweetly. Do you not love the mellow music of the bells? At night I often an my dreams seem to hear .the chiming of a bell—you must know which .eno. “There,” said the brother. “I guess we’ve got him this time. If he answers [that in a letter two lines long Wirt Dexter couldn’t save him fr0m..|10,00(5 damages.” The clerk read it, sat down thoughtfully, and replied: “Don’t be jealous."- Why Should T? True friendship is never selfish; and under all circumstances, no matter how far apart we may be or hew different onr lot in life, J shall be your friend. Ferdinand is, noble fellow, and worthy of your love. When is it to come off? P. B.—l cannot say Ido like the bells, for I like to sleep late on Sunday mornings. The bell you say you hear at nights must be the alarm-bell on the West Lake steeet engine-house. As yen say, I know it, for I often used to hear it whan.l boarded over on Warren avenue. The young man did not conclude this letter without some misgivings, “ because,'” said he to himself, as he read the rough draft, “ it looks a little bit farced—too plain to be artistic. It might be construed that I was trying to beg off. Then, too, 1 don’t quite like the beginning. ‘Why sfaeuld IF seems as if I was so confident of her love that I couldn’t be jealous. Well, I’ll chance it.” So he sent the letter, and when she received it the girl had a fit of dry hysterics, and said :* “ Algernon, you must redress your sister’s wrongs. You must imbrue your hands .” Then she wept again. “I don’t know,” mid her brother, doubtfully; “ he’s bigger’n I am, and tossing about pieces of calico and boxes of thread and playing the counter was a set of parallel bars is powerful in developing the muscle. He’s a brazen, fiery sdrpent, and I always said he was, but if you will go on nursing brazen serpents in your bosom yog most expect them to turn again and

rend you. He must have a counsel learned in the law to advise him; beside, he has taken an impression of his letter in a copying-press. He is a three-ply traitor. Perhaps, though, we can scoop him yet," and so they tried, and, after a session of three hours, produced the following ultimatum: How funny your last letter was! Congratulating mr on my engagement to Ferdinand! The idea! Who better than yourself knows where my affections are unalterably placed? Won’t you come up to-night ? Fa and ma will be at hema, and they will be glad to see you. “ That’s pretty good, I guess,” shesaid, "and italicizing that ‘they’ will make the jury think that all our allusions to the old people were put in to be interpreted the other way. I guess, young man, that’ll make you sick." It did,too, for a while, for when the young man got the letter he read it over backwards ana forwards, and whistled softly copious selections from thirty-five standard operas before he saw his way clear to an answer. “ Yes,” he said bitterly, “ her pa and ma will be at home, but the old man’ll go un-stairs to bed at a quarter to eight, and the old woman’ll go out and tell the servant about putting the dry cod-fish to soak, and forSt to come back—O, I know the old rods line a book. Bully, I’ll take a witness with me 1 That’s it!” So he sat down and wrote: Thank your parents fur promising to be at home, and tell your respected mother that I shall expect her to teach me whist. And so Ferdinand isn’t the happy man; who is? I was just beginning to think that I might, when we knew each other better, come to be a hopeless adorer of yours, but it-seems I am to have no chance. Yon can’t have told me who the groom expectant is to be, or I should surely have remembered. The poor girl did not find much consolation in this, but as she had her parents well drilled in their parts, she looked forward hopefully to the night, being pretty sure that she could keep him there pretty late, make the weakness of her eyes an excuse for turning down the gas, “then," said she, "“my word’ll be as good as his before a ..jury with marriageable daughters.” When the bell rang at 7:35 she started up with a beating heart; and when he entered-with a companion and said, “ I have made bold to bring my friend, Mr. Bt. ," she screamed wildly, “Lost! lost!” and fell fainting to the floor. That is how the matter stands at present. -The young man thinks that he turned her position very neatly in.his last letter, and placed it on record that up to that time he hadn’t been paying -any attention to her. As for the future, that must look out for itself.— GhicagoiTribune.