Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 June 1877 — ALL SORTS. [ARTICLE]

ALL SORTS.

Give chidren all the salt they want to eat. Even a false set of teeth may have a silver lining. The man who weirs gnin shoes lias no music in his sole. ' - Retiring early at night will surely shorten a man’s days. It is reported that England and Russia have come to an understanding. The motto of the Chinese race is “No chin chin.’” It is a good motto for any one. “Sir, you have broken your promise.” “Oh, never mind! 1 can make another.” Bates says, “Early to ryes, and late to bed, melts a fortune and busts your head.” California has 800 tons of honey to sell at close figures. There’s cramps for all creation. A Virginia woman of twentyeight is a grandmother. She was married at the age of thirteen. A man ran his head against a stone wall last week. The result of the race was that the stone wall was beaten—by a head. Longfellow, has passed his seventieth milestone. Whittier is six-ty-nine; Lowell, fifty-eight; Holmen, sixty-eighi; Bryant, eighty. ’ “Babies, after having taken one twftle of my soothing syrup, will never cry more,” says a celebrated compounder of soothiny syrups. Somebody describes a young lady as a person who kisses her gentlemen friends till she is eight years old, and then leaves off till she is eighteen. Little Robbie went to a show, and saw an elephant for the first time in liis life. When he came home his mother asked him what he had setn. “An elephant, mamma, that gobbled hay with his front tail.” “Do I believe in second love?” Humph! If a man buys a |>oiiiul of sngar isn’t it sweet? And when it’s gone don’t be want another p(»unil; and isn’t tl at sweet too? Truth. Murphy, I believe in second love!” Barnum will make a personal offer of SIO,OOO for th» recovery of Charley Ross. It is believed from recent evidence that heissiill alive and that the reward, wilh a guarantee of immunity trotn arrest, will induce the captors to restore hiiJL