Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 June 1877 — Something in the Bed. [ARTICLE]

Something in the Bed.

Judge Pitman has a habit of slipping his watch under his pillow when he goes to bed. The other night somehow it slipped down, and as the Judge was restless, it gradually worked its way downward toward the foot of the bed. After a bit, while he was lying awake, his foot touched it, and as it felt very cold, he was surprised and scared, and, jumping from bed. he said: “ Be gracious, Maria! there’s a toad or a snake or something under the covers. I touched it with my foot.” Mrs. Pitman gave a loud scream, and was out on the floor in an instant. “ Now, don’t go to hollering and waking up the neighbors,” said the Judge. “ You go and get the broom or something, and we’ll fix this thing mighty quick.” Mrs. Pitman got the broom and gave it to the Judge, with the remark that she felt as if snakes were creeping all up and down her legs and back. “O, nonsense, Maria! Now you turn down the covers slowly, while 1 hold the broom and bang it. Put a bucket of water alongside the bed, too, so’s we can shove it in and drown it.” Mrs. Pitoan fixed the bucket and gently removed the covers. The Judge held the broom upllted, and, as soon as the black ribbon of the watch was revealed, he cracked avay three or four times with his broom. Then he pushed the thing off into the bucket. Then they took the bucket t> the light to investigate the matter. "When the Judge saw what it was, he said “ I right’ve known that! Just like you womer to go screeching and making a fuss abut nothing! Who’s going to pay me forhat watch? It’s utterly ruined.” “It 'as you made the fuss, not me,” said Mi. P. “ You needn’t try to put the blaie off on me.” “ O.rnsh up and go to bed! I’m tired of heaing your blather. ’Pears to me you cg’t keep your tongue still a minute. Blamene if I ain’t going to get a divorce and erigrate.” Andhe Judge turned in and growled at Maia until he fell asleep.—Jfux Adeler, in I. Y. Weekly.