Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 May 1877 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Spring showers—Clerks showing new Blood relations—The hews of th* "next few months.— Punch. Soda-water tastes like—like when one's foot is eslce\y.—Exchange. V. Jg What the Russians want Is iriofe room* —for instance, more Roumania. Is rr a mere coincidence that a man in the habit of getting corned always looks seedy? • Every faithful Mohammedan feels tnat this is the tijne of all times to Mecca a pilgrimage. “ *_• •" Bretonwe suits for chlldreii at* made of pique, trimmed with India ribbons and smoked pearl buttons. Kalafat has been occupied by the Turks. Marrowfat may fall next, and then farewell to pease.—Carson Appeal. The Washington Star says no one but a spider escaping from>an ink bottle ever came near forging Gen. Spinner’s signature. No man can do a 2 per cent, business on money borrowed at 12 per cent., and expect to get rich right off. — Chicago Journal. Hugh McCulloch says that’ in no branch of industry are the people of the United States behind Europeans except in fanning. A W A vagrant, who had beefi lined regularly evety week for begging, requested the magistrate to fine him by the year at a reduced rate. History says:" Ctesarnaal^lsßrutus.” But somehow or other, we always had the impression that Bruttts rather had Caesar. —Bob Burdette. A- recently-published notiqe of a marriage in Phfladelohia ended With the' announcement: “No cards; no flowers; nobody’s business.” In winding up an article on the last corn crop, an Alabama editor remarked: “We have on exhibition in dur sanctum a magnificent pair of eart. * ’ This is about the time of the year the ice men begin to circulate reports that their crop of ice was ruined bjithe late frosts. —Philadelphia Bulletin. Eminent but intemperate citizens, who are hereafter invited to dine at the White House, are arranging to pretend that they are Russians.— Nqfunch Bulletin. Massachusetts has a new law for the protection of lobstere. Any person offering for sale a lobster less than ten inches in length is liable to a fine of $5. When you see a tramp jolting bls weekly meal you are comforted with the reflection that beyond peradventure flour is going down.— Rochester Democrat. When dogs are Bushin'around alone, it is proper that thq decree of Muzzfem should go forth. Whenever a mad dog appears the war-cry of the police is “ Mflim it!”—W.JF- Graphic. .. The Oxford (N. 0.) Torchlight asks: “Is debt a blessing or a curse?” Bob Burdette replies: ” Both, sonny; both. It is a blessing to the man who can get into it deeply enough, and a curse to the other mao. who has it to collect.”.. All other signs may fall; $Ut Wheh you see a woman'with a straw bacon he* head, a drop of whitewasli on her nose, and an expression of great executive ability on her features, you may bet tiiat the season of ethereal mildness is at hand.—Worcester,Preet. The Orientals are very trusting to each other. “ Are you not afraid to go away from your shop without lodking it?” a traveler asked an Egyptian up the river. 11 Oh, no,? answered the man coolly, “there is not a Christian within three miteii” Z

Thebb millinery store in Boston which is overrun with applications for employment, the applicants fill offering tc work for Nothing. The rush is explained by the fact that within seven years fiftyseven young lady clerks have been married from the store* The last thing a Turk gives to his family when he enlists for war is an order to* keep the horses fat, no matter what comes. The Russian ' soldier bids good-by to his family by throwing a kiss at the dogs and telling his wife and children to . divide their last crust with them, H nectetory. < Dr. Holland wants to know “ Who Sn tell .what a baby thinks ?” Well, what ouldDr. Holland think himself if he had to Wear clothes a mile too long fttf him, and have his back stuck so full of pins that there wasn’t room on it for half a square inch of prickly heat?—Burlington Hawk Eye. Th* first thing a young man ges on head. When a young lady sees fin acquaintance with Mfr new iJqnneton, she just lifts her nose and serenely Wonders “ where the thing got that fright.”—Calekill (W. F.) Recorder. .... .Thky were out walking/ enfoyinjftht cool and refreshing, air. The fright moon cast its rays over the lady, giving her almost an angelic appearance, and imparted to her flowing curls a still more golden hue. One of her soft white hands rested irehis, and, ever andi snoij. she jpet tyis ardent gaze with one of pttftfTove. Suddenlya change came over her features; her full red lips trembled as if with sup-' pressed sighs; the muscles of her fruitless mouth became convulsed;‘ she gasped for breath, and, snatching her hand from fhe~ soft pressure of' his, she turned away, buried her face in her cdmbric handker-, chief, A Washington letteMvriteTsays “ Mis’s Wiifr, daughter of theOiirf Justiqe.haa the rare ftfcußy oA bdfag able k to-talk to •severkl people at once.” Rare' faculty! Oh, ignoramus! Did you never hear.a scream instructiohs to tlih wdmkfl taking up the yell at the boy nackingtiro-* china, tell the hired girl what to do with the tinware and. stove furniture,.shriek her husband intq a Soil iWveai-forfrßiptying' l half a.bushel,pf soot OUtof the stove-pfpeP the parlor floor, gntff at the wdtoaitdren for nine dffiarem Jffibiffik with one and the same wagrfjfcher flexible tongue? Ewenl of * SandwfrhlALandjs Prince. Albert Hbfiar’has shown us an extra of the Honolulu AdaMtfih*/bf April 10, announcing the death; rifi that day, of “His Royal Highness, Prince William Pitt Lelelohoku Kaiahoolewa, brother if HiaMajastythe'KiAg. heir-apparent to the throna.” Tbe Prince was twentytwo years old; and . died of rheumatic fever. A private letter to Mr. Hfres from his son, now in Honolulu, contains-the ftmeral programme and fun particulars of the halfbartarib splendor wfgfjjvhith titer obsequies were cdebrtfhd;" Tbffbfrdy Wm kept from tip 10th to the 58th of April, •nd from the 10th until the WTaJargsl

force Of cabinet-makers were errertsatiy employed upon the coffin. It was made of some rare wood or the islands, now very difficult to get, which is said to be alnHist *FW<ni* iron and susceptible of a jVonderfut polish. The Prince was a Scottish-Rife Mason, and had taken the eighteenth degree. At his funeral the sendees of both the Blue Lodge and the Scottish Hite "were performed, and the burial service of the English Church was read- The haarse was drawn iy three hundred natives, dressed in white. Ttwas preceded, attended and followed by people carrying “ Kahili*” immense pluiw», in the form of feather dusters, except mat Ihe-«airHtow«»4ifteeii feet high amLof corresponding size, composed of rare feathers and each adorned by a few of the rareiyollow fomhers of a species of blrtt now exjinct, and which feathers in Hawaii ate exclusively rbyal property. The remains were deposited "In the Royal Mausoleum, ?wsere are deposited the ccffins which contain the bodies of the Hawaiian nobility. Thefesre some twenty of these coffins in the mausoleum. The bodies are immersed in alcohol and other ingredients, and whether or not the souls are saved there Uno doubt about the bodies being pickled.— Virginia Citjf (Neo.) Enterprise.