Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 May 1877 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

The great war mania—Rou-manix. Bhkaijhti kvs are rising. It is ye East The girl of the period—the European crisis. The old-fashioned silver comb is corn ing in vogue again. One patient in the Maine Insane Asylum is but eleven years old. Turret’s policy is the policy of Pashafi cat ion.— Cincinnati Timet. The time when apparel will be a burden is coming clothes upon us. As you cannot avoid your own company, make it as good as possible. When the Cossacks go Russian into battle., they naturally cry, “ Hu-Czar!” The West should step carefully. It la treading on eggs—grasshopper eggs.— Puck. So far the seat of the European war haa mostly been located in American Bourds of Trade. It is expected that Greece will be thrown on the troubled waters.—Cincinnati Ti:net. Admiral Porter says the Turkish Navy is like a Chinese fort—they only use it to fire salutes. It may be warm, but don’t lay off your flannels yet, unless you wish to lay on immortality.— Puck. They have five elevators at the Palace Hotel, San Francisco, one of which runs all night for—invalids! The King of Siam has nine wives to support, anti when the woodpile gets low he looks just as careworn as thereat of us. A Covington (Ky.) physician has been compelled to pay $5,000 lor using impure vaccine matter on the arm of a child. The child died. When it is noon in New York it is seven o’clock in the evening at Constantinople and the fighting is all over in lioumania for the day. “What are you doing hen?” asked a New York policeman of a boozy individual leaning up against a street lamp. “I’m (hie) ’njoy’n’m’ Evertin' (hie )Po»t, Cap.” The following order was recently left on the slate of a New Hampshire doctor: “Doc, cum up to tlier lious; the old man lias got snaix in his’ butes agin an’ raisen kain.” Funny Folks has discovered the seven ages of man to be as follows: 1, image (of his father, of course); 2, nonage; 3, of age; 4, marriage; 5, parentage; 6, anecdotage; T, dotage. It is this lying awake nights trying to determine whether to leave your fortune to an orphan asylum or a home for old men that makes the newspaper business so wearing.— Borne Sentinel. The Norwich Bulletin man says that he has frequently observed that the individual wlio always states what lie would have done if he had been there is the kind of person who never gets there. Caution often averts danger. An uptown man who heard burglars in the house, the other night, woke up his wife and sent her down stairs for a drink of water, and then crawled under the bed and wasn’t injured in the least.— Danbury Newt.

Once more the love-lorn swain will leave her swinging on the gate and mosey home in the moonlight softly humming to himself— Tis sweet to court, but, oh, how hitter! To leave her unwed when you know you could git her. Home one asks: “What Is moTC disgusting than waiting for a train when it is behind time ?” We should say that atrain not waiting for a man when he is behind time might he equally disgusting to a sensitive" and hurried party. — Chicago ■JourruU. ll eke is a bit of human nature, and very encouraging it is, too: “Ain’t you going to save one of those peaches for your little brother V” He replied with Christian severity of temper, “ Oh, yes; I don’t want to be mean. I’ve saved the rotten one for Tommy.” “Mr. Jones, don’t you think women are more sensible than men!” asked Miss Smith. And Jones, after scratching his favorite bump for a moment or two, said: “Why, certainly, they are—they marry men. and men only marry women.” Miss Smith beat a hasty retreut. — Ruck. A correspondent of an agricultural paper says that after long experience he finds that the best way to sow grain is on horseback. The science of agriculture progresses. A young farmer will soon be able to .take his girl out carriage-riding and sow several acres of grain or pick five acres of potatoes at the same time—thus combining business with pleasure.— Exchange. Rain, min, min, rain, Straight and slanting, scolloped and plait Fraught with pleasure to duck and crane, And to many a hopeful rustic swain Wh6 loves the leisure that Jets him remain On the parlor lounge with Elizabeth Jane. Moisture, bringing regret and pain To the damsel who draggles her dress en train, A splendid, scrumptious, new girt* grain. And who sighs and utters a thought profane Concerning “ Old Probs,” that he should ordain A soaking shoWer, and not refrain When she most go out and a bonnet obtain. Cause of many an ontward stain, Cause of many an ankle sprain; Yet we will do as they do in Spain— When it raina we will let it rain. Rain, min, min, min!—jV. T. Graphic. A woman will take the smallest drawer in a bureau for her own private use, and will pack away in it bright bits of boxes, of all shades and sizes, dainty fragments of ribbon, and scraps of lace, foamy raffles, velvet things for the neck, bundles of oid love letters, pieces of jewelry, handkerchiefs, fans, things that no man knows the name of—all sorts of fresh-looking, bright little traps that you couldn’t catalogue m a column, and any hour of the day or night she can go to that drawer and pick up any article she wants without disturbing anything else. Whereas a man, having the biggest, deepest and widest drawer assigned tc him, will chuck into it-tliree socks, n collar-box, an old neck-tic, two handkerchiefs, a pipe and a pair of suspenders, and tosaveuis soul he can’t shut that drawer without leaving more ends of things sticking out than there are things in it, and it always looks as though it had bech packed by a hydraulic press. —Burlington llawk-Eye.