Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 May 1877 — Ceremoniousness—Politeness. [ARTICLE]

Ceremoniousness—Politeness.

Ceremoniousness and politeness, though often mistaken and substituted one for the other, are by no means the same thing. Ceremony, being the outward form by which certain ordinary acts of civility are expressed by the common agreement of the refined, Is generally more or less practiced by the polite. These, if versed in the conventional usages of society, become thus to a certain degree ceremonious. They accordingly are seen to make use of those ordinary formulas of manner and behavior set by fashion or established by custom. They wili cut their dress, move their limbs, mold their manners and direct their external habits of life to a great extent in conformity with social regulation. As the desire to please, which Is the impelling motive to politeness, makes them so far compliant as to be careful not to offend the fastidiousness of formal propriety by any transgression of its obvious rules, they also refuse to insult the com-mon-sense of mankind by an exhibition of extreme deference to the arbitrary authority of convention. The genuinely polite, while conforming to, are never devotees of, fashion, in its exclusive rights and ceremonial observances. Their sympaties are ten broad to be kept within the narrow limits of such an intolerant worship. While ceremony is accepted with amiable compliance by the polite, politeness is often refused by the ceiemonious. The great stickler for ceremony is ordinarily, in fact, entirely destitute of politeness. He, however, is apparently so unconscious of the want that he generally prides himself on the possession of it. He is apt to be entirely ignorant of its very nature, antt thus his frequent error in supposing he has what be has not. Bv him politeness » thought to consist o's those very ceremonious observances of which he has so many at his command, and so profusely bestows. Like some people who seem to- believe that all the duties of religion may be fulfilled by a diligent practice of its formalities, as the muttering of prescribed prayers and making of genuflections, the ceremonious are apparently of opinion that human courtesy requires no mere than the utterance of set compliments and the giving of formal bows.

The Americans,, who are ordinarily great scorners of ceremony, are remarkable for their civility as a people. Whatever may be the lowliness of their position, they have all more or less of that self-respect essential to a due regard for the feelings and innate dignity of their fellows. They may keep their hats tight upon their heads, and hands sunk deep into their pockets, apparently incapable of a word of reverence ox gesture of obeisance, and yet they will seldom utter a syllable to offend the most delicate feeling or commit an act indicative of intentional rudeness. Their readiness to oblige is proverbial, and every stranger will observe with what eager civility they meet his The demands of curiosity are not only promptly answered by them, bnt they spontaneously offer such information as they have to give; and the foreign traveler records with gratitude the facility of his journeyings through all parts of the United States, aided and supported as he has always been by the kindly communication and genial sympathy of its native inhabitants, however coarse tneir exterior and unfamiliar thej may be with the conventional forms of manner.

In foreign countries there is a great deal more of the external show of respect. An American traveler remarked of a provincial town on the centment of Europe, where he had occasion to rest for some weeks, that the inhabitants seemed to be so much occupied with taking off their hats and putting them on again, that he could not conceive how it was possible for them to find time to do anything else. In fact, this external ceremony seemed so preoccupying and all-absorbing that the civility which this was naturally supposed to express was entirety wanting. The form had taken the place of the substance. On accosting a person of decent exterior, who stopped with the ever-ready touch to the hat, he was encouraged to make a simple inquiry in regard to the situation of a street. The answer he received—“ Saere Anglaie!" (Cursed Englishman!)—was prompt, if not much to the purpose, as the fellow, who had mistaken the American’s broken accents for those of an inhabitant of “perfide Albion" with another touch to the hat, turned upon his heel.

While a Frenchman or German will take off his hat to every well-dressed femalechance may throw inhia way, ho will hardly bend himself to lift a fallen child, or move an inch upon the seat where he has planted himself to make

room for a fainting woman. Our countrymen are deservedly notable for their tender solicitude for the weak and helpless, whoever they may be; and their chivalrous attention to unprotected women, wherever they are found, to proverbial. Politeness, civility and courtesy, although they derive their names from the city and court, and wonld seem to have taken their origin in those artificial cen ters of society, and to indicate merely a conventional form of manners, have now come to have a larger signification, and embrace not only the external motions of behavior, but the sentiments and feelings which prompt them. That which Is purely gesture may be distinguished as ceremony, while emotion to essential to what is now termed politeness. True courtesy must be heart-felt; otherwise it i« unworthy of the name, and its supposed indications can only be regarded as ceremonial observances. It must not be supposed that ceremony —though care should be taken to check excess, and not to give it the currency and value of genuine politeness—ls without its usee. Its combination with heartfelt courtesy, sometimes found in kindly and cultivated natures, forms a union of grace and benevolence which goes far toward the formation of that perfect character, the gentleman. Of itself, moreover, ceremony is not to be despised. It is a very useful science, says Montaigne. Like grace and beauty, It conciliates from the first the good feeling and intimacy of society, and consequently opens the door for our instruction by others, and the introduction of ourselves if we have anything to say or teach. “ Not to use ceremonies at all," says Lord Bacon, "is to teach others not to use them again, and so diminish respect to himself; especially they are not to be omitted to strangers and formal natures; but the dwelling upon them, and exalting them above the moon, is not only tedious, but both diminish the faith and credit of him that speaks." Bacon closes with a warning: “ Men’s behavior should be like their apparel, not too strait or point-device, but free for exercise or motion.”— Harper'» Bazar. '