Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 May 1877 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

The time* may be hard, but the posters advertise longer circuses than ever. No person should have any time to spare from minding his own business. The whale la the sulkiest of all fishes. He is the worst pouter in the business,— Burlington Hawk-Eye. The foolish man will ask a woman if her baby is not a trifle crow-eyed, but the wise man will take the cate to Syracuse and make his inquiries by postal card.— Rome Sentinel. It is a strange law in the order of nature that just as a man gets fully developed, experienced and fit to live with, he begins to drop into painful old age and the funeral processions that tend to the tomb. A Rev. Mr. Spelter is the name of an Arkansas preacher, and there isn't a vacant pewter be had in his church. — N. T. Commercial. The church must have spelter title clear when she solder pews.— Boston Commercial Bulletin. At Alycenas, a frog Jumped out of one of the unearthed stone coffins, and Dr. Schliemann is said to have immediately soliloquized: “To think that my eyes have looked upon a living contemporary of Agamemnon, Hector and Hecuba, and the rest of them!” When Judge Davis quitted the Supreme bench, It tilted up at his end and' banged down at the other, like a tetcr board when the boy falls off, and the amazed Justices were nearly jostled out of their dignity and of their breath.— Burlington Hawk-Eye. A young man in Marblehead, Masß., returning home from a courting expedition at half-past one in the morning, discovered a fire in a club-house and got it extinguished. This is one of the benefits of that fine old New England custom of going home early in the morning. “ Hu bat sailed high in air, it did, The hat which plessed his vanity; Sucb things we see when April winds Do persecute humanity. And she, poor girl, embraced a post With tenderness quite curious. Such deeds take place when clouds of dust Are blowing fast and furious.” A lady correspondent of the J-oumnl concluded her letter as follows: “‘But 1 have already wearied you,” etc. The villainous type-setter made it read: “ But ] have already married you.” This is only one of the thousand little annoyances that a newspaper man has to suffer. —Lowell Journal. The skeletons that are disclosed in the courts are exceptional and anything but 'rue presentations of the holy estate ox matrimony. Set it down as a fact, young man, that ten married couples are happy to ODe that is unhappy, and that the sooner you take your s.weelheart to the altar the better it will be for you.— N. f. Daily.

Once get mince pie Inside a man’s (esophagus and human discretion is at an end. The best of men are troubled in the gastric region by mince pie, and every wife who tolerates this dangerous fomenter of dyspepsia and conjugal authority riionld be made to feel the heavy hand of the law. —Chicago Timet . Publishing marriage engagements is becoming almost a custom in this cify, though we believe thus far confined to Hebrews. The average American is not anxious to adopt the notion, for he knows that there is many a slip between the pledge and the ring, and “ sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”—iV. T. Evening Mail. The Courier Journal catches its breath and reports the following conversation: “ Now, my young friends, can you tell me who Leonidas was?” “ Yes, sir; yes, sir; he was a member of the Legislature.” ‘‘.And what makes you think he was a member of the Legislature, my children ?” “ Because sir, he held a pass with Spartan firmness.” We have always fully believed that women are angels minus only the wingsespecially the well-dressed ones. But sad questionings arise in our breasts, which will not down at our bidding, when below the fine dress, through a large rent in the boot, the bare angelic heel and the soiled tatters of a ragged stocking are seen peering out to find the best place to step on a muddy crossing; —Boston Advertiser. The Louisville Courier-Journal gets off the following shameless paragraph: “ A Boston man who went to Quebec and started a small grocer}- has astonished the Canadians with the following advertisement of his tea, coffee, etc.: ‘The peculiar delicacies of the far off Ind, and the finely-flavored and humanizing leaf of the still - further Cathay; the more exciting though not less delicious berry of Brazil, and the spices, sugars and luscious fruits of the Antilles; the sugared condiments and the blood-enrichiug wines of the Mediterranean, and the salt-cured and brainrenewing fish of our own stormy gulf.’ ”

Mr. Joseph Sprouls, near Mendota, has a very large black perch in his spring, and which he has had in there for five years. He can go to the water’s edge, pick it up, rub it, feed it and play with it, all of which it seems to enjoy as would a dog, horse or other animal. We tried it, and it was as playful with us as with Mr. Sprouls. He caught it live years ago out of the North Fork of Holstou with a hook, and put it in his spring, and has kept it there safely and made a special pet of it ever since. It is about twenty inches long, and four to six wide. —Abingdon Virginian. Mount Holyoke Seminary has of late been presented with a large and varied collection of statuary for adorning the new Williston art gallery, the gift of a wellknown and benevolent citizen of Gr.anby, who is at times erratic, to put it mildly, but who has often extended welcome aid to the institution. He had been requested by the principal to remember the vacant niches for statuary in the gallery at such a time as should seem to him most fitting,! and promised to do so, but disdained the suggestion that he should furnish the money onty and let those of more experience in such matters make the selection. Shortly after, an Italian image-vender called at his door and found him in a most generous mood, for the Itinerant merchant sold his entire stock, and was ordered to deliver it at the ' Seminary. The “ Statuary” arrived in good order, and the faculty have since been trying with all their might to keep the matter quiet.