Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 April 1877 — Soft Sawder and Human Nature. [ARTICLE]

Soft Sawder and Human Nature.

In the course of a Journey which Mr. Slick performs in company with the retrorter of his humors, the latter asks him now, in a country so poor as Nova Scotia, be contrives to sell so many clocks. ** Mr. Slick paused,” continues the author, “aa if considering the propriety of answering the question, and, looking me in the face, said, in a confidential tone: ‘Why, 1 don’t care if I do tell you, for the market is glutted and I shall quit this circuit. It is done by a knowledge of soft tawder and human natur. But here is Deacon Flint’s,’ said he; ‘I have but one clock left, and I guess I will sell it to him.’ “At the gate of a most comfortablelooking farmhouse stood Deacon Flint, a respectable old man, who had understood the value of time better than most of his neighbors, if one might judge from the appearance of everything about him. After the usual salutation, an invitation to alight was accepted by Mr. Slick, who said ‘he wished to take leave of Mr. Flint before he left Colchester? We had hardly entered the house before the Clockmaker pointed to the view from the window, and, addressing himself to me, said: “if I was to tell them in Connecticut there was such a farm as this away down east here in Nova Scotia, they wouldn’t believe me—why there ain’t such a location in all New England. The Deacon has a hundred acres of dike*— * Seventy,’ said the Deacon, ‘ only seventy? * Well, seventy; but then there is your fine deep bottom; why, I could run a ramrod into it. Then there is that water-privilege, worth (8,000 or (4,000, twice as good as what Gov. Cass paid (15,000 for. I wonder, Deacon, you don't put up a cardingmill on it; the same works would carry a turning-lathe, a shingle machine, a circular saw, grind bark, and’— ‘ Too old? said the Deacon, ‘ too old for all those speculations? 'Old!* repeated the Clockmaker, ‘not you; why, you are worth half a dozen of the young men we see nowadays.’ The Deacon was pleased.

“‘Your beasts, dear me—your beasts must be put in and have a feed;’ saying which, he went out to order them to be taken to the stable. As the old gentleman closed the door after him, Mr' Slick drew near to me, and said, in an undertone: “That is what 1 call soft tawder. Aa Englishman would pass that man as a sheep passes a hog in a pasture—without looking at him. Now, I find ’—here his lecture on soft sawder was cut short by the entrance of Mrs. Flint. ‘Jist come to say good-bye, Mrs. Flint? ‘What, have you sold all your clocks ?’ ‘ Yes, and very low, too, for money is scarce, and I wish to close the consarn; no, lam wrong in saying all, for I have just one left. Neighbor Steele’s wife asked to have the refusal of it, but I guess I won’t sell it. 1 had but two of them, this one and the feller of it, that I sold Gov. Lincoln. Gen. Green, Secretary of State for Maine, said he’d give me fifty dollars for this here one—it Kas composition wheels and patent axles; it is a beautiful article —a real first chop—no mistake, genuine superfine; but I guess I’ll take it back; and, besides. Squire Hawk might think it hard that 1 did not give him the offer? ‘Dearme? said Mrs. Flint, ‘I should like to see it; where is itr *lt is in a chest of mine over the way, at Tern Tape’sstore; I guess he can ship it on to Eastport? ‘That’s a good man? said Mrs. Flint; ‘jist let’s look at it? Mr. Slick, willing to oblige, yielded to these entreaties, and soon produced the clock—a gaudy, highly-varnished, trumperylooking affair. He placed it on the chim-ney-piece, where its beauties were pointed out, and duly appreciated by Mrs. Flint, whose admiration was about ending in a proposal, when Mr. Flint returned from giving his directions about the care of the horses. The Deacon praised the clock; he, too, thought it a handsome one. But the Deacon was a prudent man; he had a watch, he was sorry, but he had no occasion for a clock. * 1 g\iess you’re in the wrong furrow this time, Deacon; it ain’t for sale? said Mr. Slick; ‘ and if it was, I reckon neighbor Steele’s wife would have it, for she gives me no peace about it? Mrs. Flint said that Mr. Bteele had enough to do, poor man, to pay his interest, without buying clocks for his wife. ‘ It’s no consarn of mine? said Mr. Blick, as long as he pays me, what he has to do; but I guess I don’t want to sell it; and beside, it comes too high; that clock can’t be made at Rhode Island under forty dollars. Why it ain’t possible I’ said the clockmaker in apparent surprise, looking at his watch •_ ‘ why, as I’m alive, it is four o’clock, and if I haven’t been two hours here —how on airth shall I reach River Philip to-night? I’ll tell you wliat, Mrs. Flint, I’ll leave the clock in your care till I return on my way to the Blates —I’ll set it agoing, and put it to the right time? As soon as this operation was performed, he delivered the key to the Deacon with a sort of seriocomic injunction to wind up the clock every Saturday night, which Mrs. Flint said she would take care should be done, and premised to remind her husband ot, it, in case he should chance to forget it. “ ‘That? said the Clockmaker, as soon as wfi were mounted, ‘that ! call Auman natur! Now, that clock is sold for forty dollars—it cost me six dollars and fifty cents. Mrs. Flint will never let Mrs. Steele have the refusal—nor will the Deacon learn until I call for the clock, that having once indulged in the use of a superfluity, it is difficult to give it up. We can do without any article of luxury we have never had, but when once obtained, it is not in human natur to surrender it voluntarily. Of 15,000'sold by myself and partners in thia province. 12,000 were left in this manner, and only ten clocks were ever returned—when we called for them, they invariably bought them. We trust to soft sawder to get them into the house, and to human natur that they never come out of it? ”