Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 March 1877 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Pale-blue gauze is the fashionable material for veils. KHiFE-n.ArriNO continues to be the most fashionable trimming. This thing la getting dangerous. A Canada dog recently bit a woman and died almost immediately afterward. The new rubber foliage for trimming spring bonnets is odorous, not of the foreats, but of gutta percha. Pity ’tis, for ’tis pretty. Anyone who can raise a mustache that will drop down over his mouth can consistently sneer at the man who invented a coffee strainer. A pabaohaphist remarks that the man who denied that neuralgia comes on in foggy weather is convinced now that it was a great mist-ache. Mr. Henry Bebgh has nobly come to the defense of the Spitz dog, whose bite he is sure is not worse than that of a rabid politician, and whose moral tone is a good deal higher.— N. T. Graphic. A female teacher in one of the public schools of Oshkosh, recently, in a fit of Eassion at some misdemeanor of one of her oy pupils, seized him by the ears with such force as to rupture the skin and tissues. A West-Side man had just said to a friend: “ Let’s take another—” when his wife turned the corner, but his duty to his wife was not forgotten. “ View of the political situation,” he added.— Chicago Timet. » Put sway his little poem— Us to publish do not ask it: Fame through us shall never know him— He baa climbed the golden basket. —Gone to meet the communication written on both sides of the paper.— N. Y World. An exasperated politician, who had been called upon to define his position once more than patience could endure, exclaimed: “ Define my position 1 Never I If I define it, the next thing I’ll be called upon to do will be to spell it.” When a poor man dies in Augusta, Ga., he (or his friends) lifts his wearied frame into a $4,000 hearse and he rides off to his silent home in more style than he would be able to put on at his own living'ex. pense if he should live 2,000 years.-‘-Bur-lington Hawk-Eye. Professor of Chemistry: “ Suppose you were called to a patient who had swallowed a heavy dose of oxalic acid, what would you administer 7”, K. (who is preparing for the ministry, and who only takes chemistry because it is obligatory): “ I would administer the sacrament.”

Advertising is a good tiling, but when a prominent grocer carried to a funeral an umbrella on which was painted conspicuously the business of his house, and held it over the preacher’s head while he read his prayers, the bystanders thought he was running the thing into the ground. Puritan Church, Brooklyn, planned to cost $40,000, cost SIOO,OOO. — Graphic. Nothing remarkable about that. When you hear of a church planned to cost SIOO,OOO costing only $40,000, please apprise us of the fact—and give us a portrait of the architect. —Norristown Herald. It is an intense test of a man’s patience to get soap in his eyes while taking a bath, and then be forced to hunt and fish about for the cake of saponaceous material in the batli-tub. Life has few joy 3 which can compensate for tho feeling of weakness which is engendered by the elusive habits of that cake of soap. A Wisconsin man who had been induced by Western papers to go to Florida and start an orange-factory, passed through Atlanta on his way home yesterday. His breeches were harnessed to him by. one suspender, and he stood up to a fro©-lunch counter with the air of a man who knew his rights and dared maintain them. — Atlanta Constitution.

A Bridget, entirely new to the mvste ries of marketing, seeing a pet owl in front of a poulterer’s stand, said to its owner: “ What wad ye be askin’ for that broadfaced goose?” “Goose? That’s an owl,” was the contemptuous reply. “ Owld is it, you’re Bayin’ ! Sure its meself that can bile the bird till it’s tinder.” A bank cashier in WestWaterville, Me., has the windows of his sleeping-room barred with iron rods, and the door is irongrated, and thus he peacefully sleeps. Auother cashier in the same State has telegraph wires so arranged that after he retires for the night, not a door or window of his house can be started without sounding an effective alarm. A use has been discovered for the hitherto purely ornamental polecat. A Nebraska farmer noticed one of the tribe busily eating from the ground in his field, and an examination —made after the pretty creature had retired —showed that it had stripped the ground over which it had passed of the deposit of grasshopper eggs, which were about ready to hatch. Mrs. Lanagan was ailing, and called the doctor to minister to her infirmities. A soothing draught and a blister on the chest was prescribed. Calling the next day, the doctor inquired whether she had applied the blister as directed, and whether it rose. “ Why, thin, doctor, dear, niver a chist had I to put it on, but-I had a little bit of a box, and I put it on that; but sorra a rise it rose; and, faith, doctor, it’s sticking there yet.”

Smifeins always meant to be very polite, and among the conventional rules beaten into him was the one about “ present company excepted.” At a gathering of young Beacon Hillers, the otucr evening, allusion was made to the acknowledged eood looks of Boston girls. “Yas,” said Smifkins, “it is-ah—undoubtedly twew that Bahston ladies are bbotiful,” and he turned smirkingly to his lady listeners, “pwesent company excepted—ah.” A case which should be a warning to street-car companies has been decided in England. It affects the responsibility of railway companies for accidents occurring to passengers through the overcrowding of carriages. In a train running from Gowerstreet station/London, one of the carriages was full, and a passenger in a compartment containing three more than its proper complement had his hand hurt by getting it caught in the door while lie was attempting to stop any one else from coming iu. He sued the railway company for damages, and the jury gave a verdict in his favor. Tkc courts sustained the verdict on appeal. —J. P. Hassler, late Cashier of the Car. lisle Deposit Bank, at Carlisle, Pa., hanged himself, the other afternoon, in the garret of his dwelling, which was attached to the bank. Hassler was elected Cashier in 1865, and held the position until last October, when he was found to be a defaulter. On the 26th of February the bank officers instituted criminal proceedings, and bail was fixed at $15,000, which Hassler was unable to secure. He was found hanging from the same rafter on which the Cashier preceding him, Wm M. Bertram, hanged himself, in 1865. . —Bay windows are safe harbors at night for little smacks.