Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 March 1877 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

“Tfi* gltss or fashion": Blue glass. "Cai’t afford it!" is the popular thnwa . a This world to sltogethsr too full of eleven ounces to tbs pound. Embroidered gaase for trimming bom nets Is tbo latest povelty. r ,t Each Boston girl considers herself one of the elect-one of the lntaUeot. ’ Bmtdokiks says/ "Msks your home happy—<ven If you have to stay away from it.” Wht is a law-book like a ram leaping over a fence? Because they’re both a scarf of llght-Colored satin with bright colored figures. «S“b. u, i2*E^M , i.r^Ssss wardrobe except the armholes of; an old waistcoat. Y It is estimated that the number of la. dies who cannot pass a mirror without glancing into it average about twelye to every dozen. Ir a man in a polar expedition should Ull another, what would be the heinou*ness of his crime ? Murder in the eigb»V. third degrbe. 4 Virginia Gmr sends a petition to the Nevada Legislature fbran act to prevent the attachment of wagea for saloon scores above five dollare. • ' Mistress (to new servant): “You know, Mary, I don’t allow any followers Mary; “Good gracious, mum/then what’s to become of all the cold meat toad > ii “ Astonishiks cure for consumption I’* as the old lodging-house keeper said when she sprinkled her pumpkin pies with cayenne pepper before putting them bp*

Aw Irish gentleman, hearing Of s friend h “VM* coffin made rer himself, en me Sow J» “o’ that's a gooa ideel Bhnre, an’ a stone coffin ’ud tost aim® 11 his lifetime."

A Tovxb' 1 *dy sent a poem to a British newspaper entitled, “I cannot make him smile.” The editor ventured to express, an opinion that she would have succeeded had she shown hint the poem. A UtelK pupil, reciting to Vermont history, being adzed “What provisions are made for the punishment of thieves, Sabbath-breakers, etc.?" replied with alacrity, “ They are. pot into office." A kind gentleman prevented some boys from stoning i pigeon fastened by the leg. Extricating it with much trouble, be pot it tenderly into his bosom. The next day he remarked that it thAde a much nicer pie than he expected: Old Mrs. Himpleigh read that it cost |50,000 to move “Cleopatra’s Needle’* from Egypt to London, and now- 'she would tike to know about how much jt Would cost to move Cleopatra’s sewingsame distance. Whhn a society young man fails in love with a young lady and calls to see her four nights a week, her sixteen-year-old brother can get all the cigars he wants free of cost as long as the course of true love rtins smooth. There are occasions when s young man in love feels liberal enough te give a big brother $2,500 to secure his absence from the pdrlor.

Natttral flowers seem to be gaining-®* ascendency over ornaments of all kinds; violets in particular seem to be the rage, probably because their delicate sweetness and subdued color render them emblematical of the penitential season. Anew bouquet is called “ U boumet prrUmt," made of flowers so selected and arranged as to express any sentiment and emotion. A tramp was arrested in New Jerseylast week, taken before a magistrate, ana sentenced for three months. The J ustioe, in explaining the sentence, remarked that, while there wit no evidence that the prisoner had been guilty of any crime, he thought it prudent to commit him, as ho had the wild, haggard look of a man about tp start a newspaper.— Brooklyn Argue. A FrvK-YEAn-oiJ> girl, who is convalescing from an attack of scarlet fever, was, the other day, suffering greatly from earache. Something prompted this little One to petition above for relief, and this was the wayshedidit: “Oh, Lord! good Lord, cure toy ear-ache,” continuing to repeat It over and over. Her mother, hearing her murmuring; asked, “What are yon saying, toy dear?” “None of yonr business,” was the reply; “I ain’t talking to you; I am talking to the Lord.” A youhg man asks if he can “get married and live on a salary of six dollars a wqek.” Well, let’* see. Bay seventy-fly® cents a week for Cigars, one dollar far billiards, one dollar for toe theater or concert, seventy cents for beer, three dollars for house rent, three dollars for marketing, three dollars for clothes and one dollar for : Jim! unless he and' his wife would be willing to forego the luxury of clothes and victuals, and move every month a few days before the rent*comes due. Better not get married until h»s salary is raised to seven dollars a week—unless his intended wife la a milliner or dressmaker.— Burlington Eamk-Eyt. Lieut. Payee, In his account of the Austrian Arctic Expedition, states that; on his sledging excursions to Franz-Josef’s Land, the cold was so intense that when one of the party wished to take a drart of rum; he knelt down while another poured the liquor into his mouth, in order to prevent the metal cup touching hfslips and freezing to the skin. The effect of the cold upon the articles of food aqd drink carried by the party la thus described: “ This rum, though it was strow, seemed to have lost all its strength and fluidity. It tasted like innocent milk, and its consistence was that of oil. The bread was frozen so hard Butt we feared to break our teeth In biting it, arid it brought blood if we ate it. The attempt to smoke a cigar was a punishment rather than an enjoyment, because the icicles'in our beards always put them out, and when we took them out of our months they were frozen; even toe shortest pipes met the same f ale. The instruments I used in surveying seemed to burn when I touched them, ana the medals whifch toy companions wore on their breasts faH like hot iron.’* T -An inexperienced old fellow picked up a journal the other day containing a chess department. He had never seen SgESSSpf —K. xP. drawn.” and so forth, he threw down the paper with an air of disgust and the remark: “ I never see such queer poe *»*“■*’ —:— I—nmmntiii a rtilhftt mini wife Hit increased ao fast; But toe mat-