Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 March 1877 — Conundrums, New and Old. [ARTICLE]

Conundrums, New and Old.

I am a word of three syllables. My first expresses a company; my second renounces a company; my third calls a company together; my whole entertains a company. What is it? Co-nun-drum. What is the difference between a student of history seeking the prize and an Arab ? One gets up the dates to carry off the palm; the other gets up the palm to carry off the dates. What is the difference between an idea and a notion ? One is a conception of the mind; the other is a vast expanse of water (an ocean.) What is the difference between the Prince of Wales and a jet of water? One is heir to the throne; the other is thrown to the air. Why is a beefsteak like a locomotive on a long journey ? It is not of much account without it’s tender. What dries a Captain do at sea when hd gets out of fresh eggs ? He lays to. What is it that by losing an eye has nothing but a nose left? A noise. What is it which, if you take away all its letters, remains the same ? A postman. What is it which, the more it is cut, the longer it grows ? A ditch. What is that which, though always invisible, is never out of sight? The' letter I. What is the only pain of which everyone makes light? A window pane. When Apollo dipped the god Pan into the sea, what did he come out ? A drip-ping-pan. Why is a man looking for the philosopher’s stone like Neptune? Because he is a seeking (sea-king) what never was. What is the difference between Noah’s ark and an Archbishop? One was a high ark and the other is a hierarch (higher ark.) Why is a four-quart measure like a lady’s side-sajldle ? Because it just holds a gal-lon. Why Is the first chicken in a brood like the foremast of a ship ? Because it comes Just before the main hatch. Why is paper money more valuable than gold ? When you put it in your pocket you double it, and when you take it out you find it still in creases. When does a five-franc piece lose all its value ? When compared with a dollar it is worth-less. Why are washerwomen unreasonable ? They expect to have Soft water when it rains hard. Why are a whale and a pond lily alike ? They both come to the surface to blow. Why is O the best letter in the alphabet? It is oftenest engaged in doing good. Which is the oddest fellow, the one who asks a question, or the one who answers ? The one who asks, because he is the querist. Why is a hen supposed to be immortal ? Because her sun (son) never sets. Why are chickens supposed to have no future state? Because they have their necks twirl’d (next world) in this.