Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 March 1877 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

<Tone»ty is not an insurance policy. Don’t get “•hort” if you want to get a-ioßg. • «-•- ThK blue-glass cure may be regarded as a-znre euro. A Vermontbr, who has had 8,874 fits, is a living proof of the survival of the fittest Love may be a pure and holy passion, but still there Is a good deal of Cupidity about it Fewer people will dye' this-ukdal this spring, as gray is to be the fashionable color.-JEtoaton • The people have been- sd absorbed sh politics that the usual number of, banters’ lies have not been told or publfAheti this winter. '. i- ■ ■ • < • • Tbe flan rFrajrireo , polled are mineid to suppress gambling' if they hjjve to arrest every petson in the city. “Ah/ parson, Tw!M”f Wrfwttrry my gold with me,” said a dying man U>,<feis pastor. , ?! It might mew, H was tbe coßt soling answer. >iiMThe New York <sropA»« aeea.that heavy lawyers’fees are stranding people everywhere, and warns the gainst its most dangerous Bar. 1 A man in a big ulster; with a heavy muffler around his neck, had fh«|';tiife ot his ears frozen yesterday morning > while looking at his horse being clipped.—Werrittown (Pa.) Herald. Women are so handy In case of a fire. One in Hartford, recently, threw a plate of raw liver out of the window to save it, and then ran for her life, leaving all her clothes and valuables behind. ’ “ z ' Thb grasshoppers are dow> on the ground-hog for encouraging liatch out, by hdlding out flic j'tfortnse of -gvqd weather. The farmeiv-on the other hand, feels that most bosom Meiida;";, * Statistics go to show -that man may side making a thief of him and putting him on the road to tho Penitentiary, ’Ji> will have earned less riidifay ' i thau u any quiet-working mechanic. A little four-year-old boy who bad been taught his letters at and' sett his importance, on going to school was called up by the teacher, whd' asked: “ Can you read, my boy Y" Thp tittle feL low stood amazed for a moment ax the pertinence of the question, and then exclaimed: “Haint you got check!”— Exchange. . < Edward Everett Hale's patant for getting rid of tramps is ingenious. He proposes that some fine morning the officers of every city and town in Massachusetts shall swoop down and captilre evely vagrant that can be found. But the ingenious atfd philanthropic gentleman doesn’t tell what is to be done with the 2,000 tramps when they are scooped up. A boy came down Spruce street on the rush a few nights since, and, in ah excited manner, said that there were a lot of lights in the Jewish burial ground. Half a dozen scientific men, four loafers and a dqg started off to see them. The, graveyard was as dark as such places usually are. “ Where are the lights?” asked a big inltn of the boy. The youngster backelfoff ta, a safe distance and yelled out: “Under the ground, they arc Israelites!" HetliM ran for his life.—St. Lau.it Journal .1 ’ i About midwinter city throw out valuable hints and suggestions to farmers —something after this fashion f “ Nbtv' is the time to paint your peabrusli and, perform other indoor work. Whitewash your snow-shovels now. Now look your next season’s bean poles, 4ud trim off all superfluous sprouts. Qil your garden rakes before spring sets in. Bury your grindstone in the cellar to prdveffi! its freezing,” etc. Farmers can than fifty dollars by not following advice. ~ / .J 1 When I was a boy of eight years I attended the grammar-school ija S- —and fell desperately in love wdhH little blackeyed, red-cheeked damsel course of true love did not nin smooth. I was jealous of a big squint-eyed feHbw 1 with whom she would always slide down, hill, while I went alone. At last, in my frenzy, I wrote a startling letter to the little flirt, declaring my passion, and asking her which she intended to ifaarry" The answer soon came, saying th>t ehftloved. me the best —but the other fellow gave Jiar. the most.candyj I gave up the coniesk-r- - da aaeih*l a* A corrbspondbnt of' ffie "'BOSttti ‘ vertiter tells the r folldwihg' "2L- &i4tf “ forty-five or fifty, .tatara farmer of West/ord, JUaSS., w>s nbfra all who knew hint for the ‘slow,.deliberate of Ms WV;'W ChesterfieMian cdtirtcsy of his address to. all persons on the most ordinary business occasiQM, and his excegstyejcfire of the pennies. He often' vjStttfr Eo , i^U| J ,and"' ! was well known by the traders there. On one occasion, calling at the Mr. Jones,” he said, inhis usuql extremely 4 polite style, “ Mr. Jones, any very nice Macc&boysnuff ?” “Yes,.first, rate.” “And have you any very nice fappee snuff?” “Yes, the fest” V What do you ask per pound for tiiesnl ’’j Mr. Jones named bis prices. “Well,ill will take a cent's worth, half of each kind; put upinjseparatepapera, An: sawpte; fqa’ my aunt.” .tariuiioa cqpncnirf ; Ax old farmer and hip. camo Iqta the city qn vWWrt having a of a^'knlpi^ded>MoOO< s • Street tfozem aatured old" man didn’t seem to efire, the sled was soon weighted down. The bojjs », ,it the back end were weighty, enough tp break the nails, and down camp tixe bax, ; : and off went the sled and z ■ , box was drawn off it upset, and the old,, people were completely cbyOred up. G Amidst heaps of fun, they, were and another gang of hoys caught the SSESRSSS up and shaken the snow off, he remarked to the boys: “Boys, don’t paver do thia-, again. I like to see you have fun, but toy*/ •rife is a little nervous, and she takes trouble to her heart purty easy. Git me two spikes and a stone, and then huptforms , New Yorkers are talking bf kbtfllifcinjr the office of Coroner entirety, so greatt are the abuse* connected with it The tagitimate fees of the place have reached the suppression of the facts where a jpenlber of a prominent family has cofamittea suicide or died from some other disgrace-" cause. ■. —The zephyr of early spring caressesthe cheek of the Chicago drummer, but-it. has to lie down and rest several times during the operation. ~ —“ A company to insure tho insurance companies” is now loudly called for.