Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 March 1877 — How to Control a Boy. [ARTICLE]

How to Control a Boy.

A woman with a long chin and other marks of personal beauty called at the Central Station at an early hour and introduced herself to Bijah as a widow woman and the mother of a twelve-year-old boy whom she could not control. “ Can’t control him, eh?" mused the old mao, as he scratched his head. “What is his worst feature?" “Well, I can’t keep him in nights," she replied. “Can’t eh? And you want to know what I’d do if he was my boy?" “ Yes." “ Well, I’ll tell you, madam. In the first place I’d order a car-load of railroad iron* When I got it I’d lay the boy on the floor on his back, and then I’d pile the bars this way and that way, and across and up and down till I had four tons holding him down, and then I’d sit down on top the heap and ask him if he felt like whooping around.” * “But isn’t railroad iron quite costly?” she cautiously inquired. "Well, it’s a good deal cheaper than it was, madam, but if you can’t afford to try that plan why don’t you get an auger about four feet long and bore it through your boy, and into the back door?" “ It might kill him, Mr. Joy.” “ Very likely, but isn’t it better for you to kill him now than for him to wander out West in his middle age and be choked to death with a cheap rope ?” “ Then you would kill him now, would you?" “I would.” “ I don’t see how I can, and yet it may be the best, way,” she said, and the tears fell so fast that she dropped her veil and went out.— Betroiz Free Press. Masbaciiusktts savings banks have 1243,840,732 on deposit. The valuation of the State is $1,769,483,514, and its debt $83,550,464, which has been reduced during the year $886,000. ■to s to —Men with the best of intentions often leave ocher people to cany them out —N.