Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 January 1877 — Joskins Beturns Home from "the Lodge.” [ARTICLE]

Joskins Beturns Home from "the Lodge.”

It was lodge night, and there had been an unusual press of very important business, which had kept Mr. Joskins out much later than he had anticipated. He came home, however, in apparent good order and well conditioned- Mrs. joskins, knowing his trustworthy character and reliable habits, had not waited up for him, and when he crept into bed he was met with a very sleepy inquiry in regard to the hour, and the reproach conveyed in the question was so slight that Mr. Joskins instantly repented him of the lie he had intended to tell, and only told a little one, only an hour and a quarter long, saying, with off-hand carelessness, that ho guessed it must be pretty near eleven, when he knew it was a quarter past twelve. And sleepy Mrs. Joskins, with her weather eye on the sitting-room clock, which she could see through the open bedroom door, just before Joskins turned out the light, knew it also, but she didn’t say anything. Mr. Joskins, although he breathed very heavily, did not go to sleep immediately. He soon began to fidget. His breath appeared to come with some difficulty. He actually gasped. “Good laid!” he exclaimed, “isn’t this room awful close?” Mrs. Joskins didn’t know. She was' awful sleepy, she said,' and the air of the room felt very comfortable to her. “By George,” said Mr. Joskins, after a few minutes of restlessness, “ it’s close as a vault to me. Would it hurt if I opened one of the windows?” His spouse drowsily replied that it wouldn’t give her a cold, and he might ventilate the room all he wished. And With this permission she went to sleep and Mt. Joskins got up with great deliberation and proceeded to raise the window. „ “ It is up a little ways now,” he said, “ I can get my fingers under it.” And he caught a grip on it and gave a tug at it, but it didn’t come. Mr. Joskins was surprised. It never stuck that way before, he said. Then he got a fresh hold under it, and lifted as though he would pull that side of the house up by the roots, but it didn't come. . ■ “Well,l will be blbwed,” muttered Mt, Joskins, with a heavy accent on the “be.” And then he caught hold again and shoved his fingers as far under as they would reach and braced himself for a lift that would have shamed a derrick. •‘Ugh! Ump! ’mp!! um-m-ph!!!” and with the final grunt Mr. Joskins sank back, exhausted. “Well, you can eat my boots,” he muttered, with some warmth, “if I don’t

lift this window up, or I’ll pull the house over. You hear me.” And he caught hold, and tugged, and Hfted, and strained, until he was sure that every succeeding tug would eithqf lift the side of the house or pull his feet through the floor. He paused again for "breath, with his head so full of blood that his feet were cold. “By Jocks,” be snarled, “I’d give ten million dollars if I had the carpenter here that put in that window. I bet I’d lift him, the wooden-headed idiot. Now, then.” And he stooped down and caught a fresh hold on the window and sethis teeth, and shut his eyes, and held his breath, and put his whole soul and body into his arms. As he began to straighten up he could hear a sound like the cracking of timbers, and it inspired him with renewed strength. “ Something’s coming, gospel sure,” he said, and redoubled his effort. At that instant he became aware of a glimmer of light in the room. He raised his closed lids and beheld Mrs. Joskins standing beside him, like a white-robed ghost, with a lamp in her hand. At the sight of which apparition, Mr. Joskins ceased lifting, but held his grip. t “ What’s the matter J” he asked.* His wife said nothing, but looked steadily and severely into his inquiring eyes. Mr. Joskins felt troubled under her steady gaze. “What is it?” he repeated. “What did you get out of bed for?” She looked him straight in the eyes for a moment. “John Joskins,” she said, solemnly, ‘* go back to bed. I will n .ise the window for you. Don’t say a word to me. To-morrow we will talk about any continuation of these lodge nights.” Speechless and confounded, Mr. Joskins’ eyes fell, and as they did so he beheld his hands. The window was shut as tight as wax, and he had a death grip on the broad window-sill. “Well, anyhow,” he thought, as he crept back under the blankets, “ there’s one thing certain; if she hadn’t got up when she did, I’d 'a had the whole window casing, sill and all, shoved half-way up the side of the house, in another tug.” Which was very poor consolation for ,what he knew was coming, but it was the best he had.— Burlington Hawk Eye.