Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 January 1877 — Mr. Bostwick's Own eater.H [ARTICLE]

Mr. Bostwick's Own eater.H

It occurred to Mr. Bostwick, of West Hill, who is much given to pondering over and manner, at the real solution of the problem how to keep more heat in the room than escapes up the chimney. Mr. Bostwick said that a series of hot and cold air pipes was all well enough, and so was a serjQgQf drams «nd ,tDffIM|BKWDHraOK simplieftywae-the thing £>■ be aimed at, ~ and the principle was this: By the time the heat got to, the top of the chimney there wasn’t very much ofjt fcft. .Ilgßk away so*3ry|p <OO way ujf WeWjlkyßi coCBMy ItffeagL in tle’TOorn, elm make a great enough distapce beforHt got toUfeofaejit would all star-fir ffij Horn instead QO a wretched little per cent. All that you wanted W^L S sufficient length of pijfe, supply by the time tht smoko-got to the cMmhev it would be cold as a spare room bed, and every degree of heat generated in the stove

IwoulJ-be dlssentinated in the worn, andja mar codkl vdnter ■‘his famfly on th||e con}# of wood, &•< p (very wtaxlow aJTearly Mongol February. Mr. Bostwick put bis theory lutoimmi and el ghljr fire feet~rf stovepipe, andeVerybody thought he had gomt*ad. Men hofifid put up eight fee* ofi stovepipe evtfy year since thqy had >efc married CaiJc % their eyes begged idiitomre j nfylMput it gjg them, or board at <Wei, while the work was being done, assuring her that it much stovepipe. Between the two a comand up and help Then he had a carpenter cut the necessary holes through the partitions ana floors, and they went to work. They coiled the pipe around the room, protecting the partitions and floors with earthenware collars where the pipe passed through them, until the house looked like an immense still. Mr. Bostwick put the terminus of the pipe into the flge bnu,“pipe with as much pomp and CBTSmbfiy as though he was driving the last spike in the narrow-gauge railroad. “ There,” he said, “ open the windows and look for summer.” And he lighted the fire in the big wood move, closed the dampen^all alony dm sfte&Wro gers away froffijiim, and looked with wot rl SfiioEe. *~- E> "around fire store aoor ana plate Tit curled up around Jhe collars and wound up the tinted wuHpaper like so many snakes; smoke; pale, thin blue smoke; cloudy white smoke, streaked with black, so greasy that you could fairly smell the creosote; long wavy folds of mouse-colored smoke. It grew less frequent and smaller in volume as it emerged WtiW# flue, it ceased to come out of the pipe, and the man said he guessed there was no waste heat escaping up the flue, and Mrs. Bostwick, with a horrified look at the wall paper, sat down and wept. The more they experimented the more smoke they got, until at last Bostwick reing the dampers only haflgsitoe effect of pelled, late in the afternoon, to ordenlhe pipe in the upper rooms taken ouk. 'rats left him with about 150 feet of pipffdoWn stairs, which he knew would work like a c&p. It worked like a creosote factory. Sfifewnonly effect of shortening the pipe was to increase the density of smoke. It came out of seams and joints and places in the stove and pipe where the man said he never knew there was a joint. The children, coughing like freight engines, had been sent over to a neighbor’s, where wMl'Alttrm Of-nF® WWr body went prowling and panting around in closets, attics, bed-rooms and halls, hunting for the fire, before the little innocents had been in the house five minutes. Mrs. Bostwick, between crying over the wall paper and picture frames, and goug-<ace-into on ergrest rwl Bostwick was so blind and Md and nil] cession. He took down joint afHMWIrtJ of pipe, but the more he shortened itwiel worse it got v until at last, in deSpmtifti, hectare down the whole thing, threw it outnf the window and fitted the stove ibnrW" its place with the old eight feet of pipe and one elbow, and yelled out to Mrs. Bostwick to bring the children home and get supper. And moodily remarking that there was no use trying to do anything with a woman in the house, which appeared to give him a great deal of comat a loss what to call the present manifestation. It came puffing and rolling out of the chimney, out of the pipe, out of the stove, in clouds that you could have hung a hat on. Bostwick could take his oath that curling columns of blue smoke came time he drew a breath he could fflM|■M smoke curl out of his ears. He felkanß fell his way to the nearest winuoW ior bhakk amazement, and tumbling out of it, loß>d up and beheld the cleanest, purest xeMmey top he had ever seen in his life, with not a line of 'smoke within 400 miles of it. “Goodness gracious,” he exclaimed; “ somebody waste me up.” Just then Mrs. Bostwick came weeping out on the front porch! looking ftroypq. with the things she was using for eyer. “ I believe that precious man of yours,” she sobbed, “ ran away with my butter-jar.” “What jar?” snarled Mr. Bostwick, who was too mad and bewildered to take much interest in household affairs. “Why, mv he went slowly into the house, put Si-JiWl buckskin gloves, felt his way to the IpvA climbed on a chair and pulled tneytip" OU M- the h°lc. Then he seized the rim collar and pulled out Mfs. Bostbutter jar, intact, sound as a nut, uncracked, and purified by fumigation. He went out of the house with- it. Mrs. Bostwick said, “That’s it;” but he heeded her not. He strode out to the Hgurpeuea the gate mntwent out lnto tKb' middle of the street, set the butter jar down and held it down miieß miles. But his foot slipped on the snqw and the jar fdi out of his hani, sprained his wrist, and dropped on a talk with Mr. Bostwick about heaters.— JBurlington Hawk-Eye.