Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 December 1876 — Conversion to Christ. [ARTICLE]

Conversion to Christ.

On a Sabbath evening in the autumn of 1821, I made up my mind that I would settle the question of my soul’s salvation at once, that if it were possible I would make mj’ peace with God. . . . But I found, when I came to face the question, that I was very unwilling to have anyone know that I was seeking the salvation of my soul. . . . During Monday and Tuesday my convictions increased; but still it seemed as if my heart grew harder. I could not shed a tear; I could not ppay. . . . Tuesday night I had become very ■nervous, and in the night a strange feeling came over me, as if I was about to die. I knew that if I did I should sink down to hell. ... In the morning it seemed as if an inward voice said to me: What are you waiting for ? Are you endeavoring to work out a righteousness of your own ?” Just at this point the whole question of Gospel salvation opened to my mind in a manner most marvelous to me at the time. I think I then saw, as ciparly as I ever have in my life, the reality and fullness of the atonement of Christ. I saw that His work was a finished work; and that instead of having or needing any righteousness of my own to recommend me to God, I had to submit myself to the righteousness of God through Christ. Gospel salvation seemed to me to be an offer of something to be acepted: and that it was full ana complete; and that all that was necessary on my part, was to get my own consent to give up my sins and accept Christ. Salva-' tion, it seemed to me. instead of being a thing to be wrought out, byrny own works, was a thing to be found entirely in the Lord Jesus Christ, who presented himself before me as my God and my Savior. . . . The question seemed to be put to me, “ Will you accept it now to-day?” I replied, “ Yes; I will accept it to-day,or I will die in the attempt.” . I felt that I must be alone, in the woods, sq that I could pour out my prayer to God. But still my pride must show itself. . . . When I attempted to pray I found that my heart would not pray I began to feel that it was too late. . . . . But right there the revelation of my ‘pride of heart, as the great difficulty that stood in the wAy, was distinctly shown to me. An overwhelming sense of my wickedness in being ashamed to have a human being see me on mv knees before Goa, took such powerful possession of me, that 1 cried at the top of my voice, and exclaimed that I would not leave that place if all the men on earth and all the devils in hell surrounded me. “What” I said, “such a

degraded sinner as I am, on my knees endeavoring to make my peace with an offended God!” The sin appeared awful. It broke me down before the Lord. Just at that point this passage seemed to sink deep into mv mind like a flood of light: “ Then shall ye go and prav unto Me, and I will hearken unto you. Then shall ye seek Me and And Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart." I instantly seized hold of this with my heart I had intellectually believed the Bible before; but never had the truth been in my mind that faith was a voluntary trust instead of an intellectual state. I was as conscious as I was of my existence, of trusting that moment in God’s veracity. ... I cried to Him, “ Lord I take Thee at Thy word Now Thou knowest that Ido search for Thee with all my heart, and that 1 have come here to pray to Thee; and Thou hast promised to hear me.” That seemed to settle the question that I could then, that day, perform my vow. The Spirit seemed to lay stress upon that idea in my text, "When you search for Me with all your heart.” ... I told the Lord that I should take Him at His word Other promises I took as infallible truth .... I seized hold of them, appropriated and fastened upon them with the grasp of a drowning man. . . . ■. I found that my mind had become wonderfully quiet and peaceful All sense of sin, all consciousness of present sin or ¥iilt had departed from me. . . . . he thought of God was sweet to my mind The Spirit of God had taken possession of my soul. . . » . I could now see and understand what was meant by the passage, “ Being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” — From, Memoirs of Bn. Charles G. Finney.