Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 December 1876 — A Baby Show in Texas. [ARTICLE]

A Baby Show in Texas.

The baby show took place yesterday afternoon at the Pagoda on the Fair Grounds, and in the second story of it, which, by the way, Reminds one of the hurricane-deck of a steamboat, and the number and violence of the squalls did not go far to dispel the illusion. In order to encourage Mr. Samuel Bennett, wlft) provided the prize perambulator, about nineteen babies had put in their appearances. These said babies, in the goodness of their hearts, had also brought their mothers along, and these ladies seemed to take as much interest in the show as the babies themselves. We suppose the babies brought their mothers along to keep them out of mischief. Be-* side the babies and the young mothers, there were quite a number of ladies and gedtlemen present who were not «babies, and had not been babies for some time, who came because they once had been babies, and wished to And out if the human race was not deteriorating. There were various styles of babies there. There was the serene, contemplative baby, that quietly devoured the landscape with its eyes. When that kind of a baby grows up he becomes a heavy taxpayer, and accumulates real estate, ana is regarded, and justly, too, as highly respectable. Then there was the disorderly baby, that punches its mother in the nose, and snatches everybody who comes near it baldheaded and is as disorderly as a cage full of wildcats. In after life that style of baby climbs the ladder of fame as a policeman or as a desperado. There we noticed, too, the smiling baby. It made friends with perfect strangers twenty yards distant. It would take an earthquake to stop that style of child from crowing. When that kind of child grows up he becomes popular, and is elected Justice of the Peace, or United States Senator, like Gov. Coke. Then, too, there was the hungry infant that called for the bill of fare. When that child becomes fully developed, mentally and Jhysically, it becomes contemplative, oins the ministry and becomes a terror to spring chickens. There were several othet styles of baby, but we can’t devote so much space to small fry. We have not mentioned how the female babies Would turn out on account of the uncertainty of the sex. There was some difficulty in obtaining judges to pass on the infants. Whenever a! gdntleman Was .requested to act as a judge he was singularly unanimous in refusing to bring down on himself the wrath of the babies who might not get the perambulator. As it was absolutely certain that there would not be less than seventeen of those enraged cherubs, We do not blame them so much, after all. Besides, these insulted little cubs have mothers, fathers and other relatives. No wonder there was a certain unwillingness to intrude At last five heroic men were found to Set as judges. The mothers seated themselves in a circle, with their infants on their laps, the judges made, the rounds on trembling limbs, gazed falteringly at each infant, and than, with blanched faces, consulted htirrieldy together, cast their ballots, looking over their shoulders at the determined faces of the mothers, and then hurried down the stairs and out of the pagoda, and are by this time doubtless safe m some country that has no extradition treaty with the United States. It was understood mat the awards would not be

called until the judges had ten minutes' start. We would like to make some extended suggestions on thia subject, but space prohibits. If we were one of the judges, no matter how rounded the limbs of an in-, fant might be, no matter how many dimples It sported on its chin, It might smile like a lady with a new set of false teeth, and might be able to play one of Beethoven’s immortal symphonies on a piano besides, it would never get our rote unless its father made affidavit that he had never walked it about at night, and it was regular and decorous in its behavior toward all the members of the family. That is die style of baby that ought to be encouraged. That’s the kind of baby that deserves perambulators and mugs and Kind words in the papers. It may have red hair and speckled complexion, but it is nevertheless the only style of baby that is really a Well-spring of joy to its parents and a credit to the community.— Ban Antonio Herald.