Rensselaer Union, Volume 9, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 November 1876 — Our Young Readers. [ARTICLE]

Our Young Readers.

HOW GRANDMA *<WENT TEETH“Wentteething!" I think I hear you cry. “Do teeth ever grow on bushes? Can you gather them by the quart or bushel, as one picks blackberries?" Not at all. And yet Grandma did really “go teething,” as she herself expressively declares. Let us hear her tell the story. “ I was not quite four years old when the baby came. ‘ A very little girl,’ do ruu say? Well, I don’t know about that. had an idea that I was pretty large. I suppose that came from Aunt Mehi table’s telling me, about forty times a day, that I was ‘big enough to know better,’ though what mischief I was up to I can’t for the life of me remember. “ Well, the baby was a darling; and I wasn’t the only one who thought so. She was as pretty as a pink and as sweet as a May-blossom. Every day, as regular as the day came* I used to take her a bright red apple and a scalloped cookie, sprinkled all over with caraway seeds. Mother always took them, and thanked me in the baby’s name; and the baby herself gave me a beautiful smile and seemed'to understand all about it. That is to say, *he generally did; but she was only a mortal baby, after all, and couldn’t be expected to smile when she had the colic. One day, when I came in with my offerings, I found her screaming and kicking like a little wild Injun; and mother and Aunt Mehitable were doing everything they could think of to sti'l her.

“‘l’ll make her stop just in a minute,’ said I. So I broke off a little bit of the cookie and put it in her open mouth. But she only screeched louder, and mother had a great piece of work to get it out again. “Don’t, daughter,’ said she. ‘Save them for by and by. Little sister’s in pain now.’ She was going to take them from my hand, when Aunt Mehitable spoke up: “ ‘ What foolish nonsense, Sybil!’(my mother’s name was Sybil). ‘ You’re just deceiving that child. ‘ She’ll find it out one of these days, and she won’t respect you half as much for it.’ “‘Yes, I shall ’spect her halt so much,’ said I; for I loved my mother dearly and couldn’t bear to hear a lisp against her. “ ‘ You don’t know anything about it, child,’ said Aunt Mehitable. ‘ Your mother means to be honest; but, strictly speaking, she isn’t. The baby hasn’t a tooth in her head. She couldn’t eat.an apple or a cookie any more than you could eat Bunker Hill Monument, if you could get it? ’* Not a tooth in her head! Couln’t eat a cookie, or even bite an apple! Was it possible ? “ Looking at the matter in the solemn light in which Aunt Mehitable presented it, and thinkipg of the many privations which the baby must suffer in consequence, I began to cry. “ ‘ Come, come, Jane. We can’t have but one baby here. If you’re going to set up opposition, you must go down-stairs.’ “ I didn’t know what ‘ setting up opposition’ meant; but I did know that I wanted to cry, so down-stairs I went, folding my apron up to my eyes and sobbing as if my heart would break. “Uncle Jack was in the kitchen. He was one of the kindest-hearted in the world, but he was a master hand to tease. “ ‘ What’s the matter, Sia ?’ ’• said he. “ ‘ The—baby—can’t—eat—cookies,’ said I, with a great burst of tears after every word. . , 1 “ ‘ Can’t eat cookies! Why not, I should like to know ?’ “ ‘ ’Cause she—hasn’t—a tooth—in her —head.’

“‘ No teeth! How does that happen ?’ “‘God forgot to make ’em.’ This seemed to me the only way to explain the mystery. It was my own private opinion, and I gave it without hesitation. “ ‘ How very sad!’ said Uncle Jack. ‘ Couldn’t you lend her some of yours ?’ “,I brightened up. Then my countenance fell. ‘ They’re all glued in,’ said I, dolefully. “ * I’ll tell you what to do,’ said he, at length. ‘Go up to Deacon Elbridge’s store and buy some. Buy ten cents’ worth. Here’s the money.’ “ I took the bit of silver from his hand. ‘ Do Deacon Elbridge sell teeths ?’ “‘ I saw some there once—real storeteeth,’ replied Uncle Jack, gravely. “I put on my sun-bonnet and started. My uncle stood at the door watching me as 1 trotted up the road. The store was only a short distance off, and 1 was soon standing at the large door, trying to muster courage enough to go in. "Sam Elbridge spied me out. at last. ‘ Why, if here ain’t little Topliff!’ he cried. ‘Have you come but shopping today ?’ “‘l’d like some teeths for the baby,’ said I, stepping just inside the door. “ ‘Some what?’ “ ‘ Some teeths for the baby. Store teeths. She didn’t, get any made yet. Here’s ten cetits.’ “ Sam looked at me for a minute, as if he couldn’t believe his own ears. Then he drew his lips together with the queerest little pucker, and I-. wondered if he was going to have a fit. “ ‘Teeth for the baby?’ said he. ‘ Oh! yes; of course. Up to the other end of the store. Walk right up. Miss Topliff.’ “ It made me rather uncomfortable to be called ‘ Miss Topliff,’ for many and many a time I had ridden to ‘ Banbury Cross’ upon Sam’s strong foot; but! followed him without a wore. i

“ Now, it happened that a year or two before this Deacon El ••ridge—being well along in years and bearing marks of. his age, as we all have to in one way or anomer—had been persuaded by his oldest daughter to go to Toppinsville and be measured (as he used to say) for sbme new teeth. He wouldn’t have a full sfet, for he had two m three stanch old ivories left, which lie declined to partwith at any price. •* . ‘“Butx you’d look so much better if you’d have them all out, father,’ said Maria. “ ‘ ’Taint best for a man of my age to look too well,’ was his reply. “ We’ll see what these few extras will do for me before I order any more.’ ‘And when he came home, with the * few extras’ in his mouth, how everybody did stare. Mrs. Elbridge didn’t say a word, and Maria only dared to whisper that they were a leetle too large for him. He did look terribly, people said. His mouth seeiqed to be drawn back into a dreadful kind of smile, without a bit of fun or heartiness behind it. “He walked up to the glass, looked at himsejf for a moment, and said just one word. It wasn’t a very pretty word, Children; at least, ngt when used in that way. “ ‘Thunder!’ said he. Then he pulled the teeth out of his mouth and clapped them into the table-drawer; and he never looked at them again for three months. “It was a long while before any of the

’ i," j j — nnrTE —k JFri family dared to touch them. But at last Bam ventured to take then, jnto the store one day, Just to show to one of his father's particular friends; and it wasn’t long before the teeth became a sort of standing Joke, at which the Deaeon could laugh as well a# anybody. “But they never found their' way back in the house. They' were*, always kept away back upon the upper shelf, jhut up tightly in anolfl tin box J ! “ Hollowed Batp, as I told yotu without saying a word, feeling glad and happy that the baby’s wants wete to be supplied. He took the box down from its place and handed it to me. “‘Here,’ said he., ‘Take them and welcome. We never charge for babies’ teeth. Hold the box right side «rp with care, and don’t open it tillyou get home. ’ “ Open it? .Of course not. I Oenldn’t wait for that.. 'The baby must have them as soon as possible, to make up for lost time. I rad toward home as fast as my two feet would carry me, and never stopped for a second until I had reached mother’s chamber. • , Here!’ said I, triumphantly,handing her the box. ‘ Here’s some teeths. I buyed ’em. Give tilth .baby, some new apple. Quick!’ ~ “ Mother opened the box, and took out what seemed to be a dull-lpoking piece of metal, with a few yellowish-white somethings looking'for all the world like kernels of dried corn fastened upon it. •Where have you, been, Jennie? Where did you get this?’ she-asked, in amazement. • . “• Deacon Elbridge. Hekeepr’em,’ I faltered. I was dreadfully, disappointed, for my treasures didn’t look a bit as I expcc ted. “•/Aunt Mehitable , took them from mother’s hand. ‘ For mercy’s sake!' said she, ‘ what on earth possessed ’em to give you this ?” ‘ £ ‘“I buyed it,’ I answered, proudly. ‘ Sam wouldn’t take ally ten'centals. Uncle Jack said so.’ r “ ‘ Uncle Jack said What?’ “ ‘ Baid I could, buy some dtore-ieeths for little sister. ’ “Then mother understood all about it, and she pitted me. She held up the large, unsightly plate and pointed to the baby’s sweet little mouth. ' ■ “ ‘ You. see, darling.’ -said She, ‘baby couldn’t use them. GocTwill give her some nice little-white teeth by-and-by. BJie will have to w|it for just as you did for yours.’ ■ “ She took me In her lap and kissed me. I saw her lip quiver a little as she looked at the ‘ stofe-teetlis,’ and Atfflt Mehitable’s face was a sight to behold. “ ‘lt was, too bad of Jack!’ she cried. ‘ He’s quite too fohd of hH jokes. I’ll go down stairs and give hup a good scolding? And down she w&ft. . “Tdid not hear- the" scolding!; but I couldn’t help hearing Uncle. Jack’s roar of laughter. He rushed up-stalrs like a school-bOy, took me ftom’ mother’s lap (I was crying bitterly now), ant) seated me upon his broad shoulder'. “‘lt.was too bad, r -little girlie, »'hc exclaimed. ‘Uncle Jack’s dreadful sorry. Can’t you forgive him?’ ? No, 1 couldh’t. , A “ ‘ Let nje see,’ -said fiOk speaking very slowly'. ‘I did Aink Or going Over to Aunt Ellea’Athta afternoon. . I did think of inviting a certain little gijl to ao with me. But I’m afraid I 'snkn’t nave the courage to do it now. I’m sure I never can take such a long ride all alone? “ Now, a ride to Annt’Ellen’s meant a , delightful drive through the pine. woods, where wild flowers and bunch-berries grew in abundance, tcried a little more softlyas.l thought of.it. “ ‘lf she only coujd forgive me,’ he went On, plaintively. i ‘ “ I rubbed mv eyes, but didn’t answer. “ ‘ The speckled hen’? eggs are hatched,* he continued, thoughtfully. , * And I have heard it said that Brindle’s new bossy is a perfect beauty. Dear me! howl wish I could go? , “ I wiped away my tears- .‘ You can go,’ said I, magnanimously; ‘tad I’ll go withyou? “ I couldn’t be sorry that I had forriven him, for the thought of that afternoon is one of- (he brightest pf my childhood’s memories. But I didn’t quite understand why it was that he obliged to tell Aunt Ellen all about the matter, dilating in the most extraordinary manner upob his own 'misconduot and my generosity,. “ ‘Too bad! too bad! Wasn’t it, Aunt Ellen?! Such.a dear, kind litfle girl, to forgive her cruel old uncle. But she’s really been teething—our little Jenny—just as-the children goblue-berryiag, with a very slight difference. . Don’t you see ?’ “ Deaf Uncle Jkck! ‘ He was a dreadful tease; Ah, me! he’s been in his grave these twenty years. Troubles came to him, as tftejr come to of them, as somebody says (I can’t tell who now, and it’s nd matter); eo they didn’t crush, him, ; “ I’m very sure that neither of us ever forgot the day wheh ‘our little Jenny went teething.”)— C- Bartlett, in N. Y. Independent. ~

A new kind of electric light, lately experimented upon at Berlion the roof of the Siemens-Halske works iif that city, proved so successful that ordinary writing could be read at a distance of a mile. When the light was thrown ioWard the clouds, by means of a mirror,, there appeared a luminous train thereon, which much resembled a tail of a cdtnet, and drew together great crowds of spectators .in the streets. Signals made by the instrument were" also repeated upon the clouds, becoming thus visible M®a very great distance. The experiments were made in the presence of a large number of artillery and 6ther branches of the Government service, and wera continued for nearly two hours. The ’ instrument, Which is provided with gjlocpmotive engine, is to be set up in the, Tege artillery ■polygon for furthererperftnempthe Ger. man War Department. intend jpg to purchase several of thje machines for military use, both afloat anti 'ashore. • <.*