Rensselaer Union, Volume 8, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 September 1876 — LIEUT. BOYLE’S DUEL. [ARTICLE]

LIEUT. BOYLE’S DUEL.

Many years ago I was spending the summer at a fine old mansion in New Jersey, full of historical souvenirs, for it had once been the headquarters of Gen. Washington. The late Commodore Kearney, the bluff and brave, lived in a picturesque cottage adjoining the grounds of the “ Brighton House,” as it was and is now called. His presence attracted to the place other officers of the navy and army. Among them were Capt. (now Admiral) Porter, Capt. (now Vice-Admiral) Rowan, the.late "brave and honorable Capt. Hartstein, and a number of army officers, with their families. You may believe that the presence of so many brave and gallant men made carnival the whole of the time for those hero-worshipers, the fair women and lovely girls who were gypsying there for the summer. Such devoted knights as they were. Riding, boating, fishing, swimming, dancing ; military drills with canes and broomsticks for the children, and impromptu operas and plays for the other children. We were all children in those halcyon days—as witness our playing at blind-man’s-buff. But this was when the “ little pitchers” were abed and asleep, for, with their murdering candor and innocence, they would have betrayed us to the entire community, whose ancestral traditions and personal dignity had developed in it already a holy horror of such “ high jinks” as had come under its notice. But—bless these high-toned susceptibilities !—we would have been a bright and shining light unto them, for we had no quarrels, not even the green ghost of a jealousy. A divine mantle of charity rested upon us the live-long summer; it was just one brilliant, delicious midsummer dream. To half a dozen of us older women was vouchsafed the keenest enjoyment of all. This was to be permitted to sit under the wide-spreading trees with the officers, in the purple ana golden glory of the sunsets, ana listen to their racy, characteristic stories. We all told a white-brown fib the very first thing, vowing that we delighted in tobacco smoke, in order to put them completely at tlieir ease. It was very easy to do it, for Urey never stopped smoking after that. C \ One nightvthey had been telling sidesplitting storfiß about Magruder, who lisped, and “Beauty,” who was also a commodore, when Capt. Rowan said: “By the way, Porter, what has become of old Boyle? I have completely lost sight of him.” “Well, the last time I saw him,” answered the Captain, smoothing down his great silky brown mustache, “I was his second in a duel.” As he spoke, hisdark bright eyes flashed with some droll recollection, and his well-shaped lips parted in abroad smile. Certain that the strain of amusement in the mellow voice and the tell-tale face betokened a duel without a tragedy, we women clamored for the story.

“I had gone,” said Capt. Porter obeying beautifully at once, ‘‘with half a doeen other fellows, all navy officers, to spend a week at Shrewsbury—a little half-pony town In Jersey here; and one evening, as we werejuttlng in the bar-room of the tavern, 'smoking, telling anecdotes, and talking between whiles with the natives, who should come sauntering in but ola Boyle? “ ‘Any room for me V he asked. “‘Why, yes; come in,’ we all cried; and we were soon telling him the news, Boyle in turn relating his adventures, perhaps romancing a little, and a last ending with, “ ‘Well, anybody here worth knowing?” ‘“Yes,* I answered; ‘there is one Jersey giant, six feet two in his stockings, and the greatest bully on record.’ ‘‘ ‘Ah! what’s his name?’ “ ‘That’s the best ot it. His name is George Washington Kosciusko Peter Bonaparte Bolomon Job Blimcnm. “ ‘Pboebus! what a name!’ exclaimed Boyle, bursting out laughing. ‘What is the gentleman’s profession ?’ “ ‘He spends his time cultivating a bean patch, threatening the poor villagers, and brow beating the women and children.’ “ ‘Does—does he ? Well, he’s the very boy for me. I wish he would come in. I’d like to have a little talk with him.’ “ ‘Why, my dear fellow,’ said I, ‘ he’d make three of you. Fact is, we all keep to the windward side of him—no use getting shot for such a landlubber.’ ‘‘At this a lanky party with a portentous nose, who had been listening to every word, remarked, through his nose. “ ‘Wa’al, I s’pose you naval men think yourselves thunderin’ brave, but I kin tell you our Cumel could fight all on you to onst, with his right han’ tied behind him. You naval men needn’t think you’re goin’ to ’nopolize all the brass and bluster.’ “ Boyle’s ears pricked up at this, for, as you know, Rowan, he is a regular old sealion, afraid of nothing, from a powdermonkey to a sea-serpent at sea, and a mouse to an elephant on shore. So he bounced around on our nasal friend, and snapped out at him like a pugnacious bull-terrier. “ ‘ What’s that? Want to try our brass and bluster! Where’s your big gun? Trot him out. I’d like to see him.’ “ ‘ Wa’al, there he is,’ said the man, with a sort of snort of triumph; and sure enough, in swaggered the round-shoul-dered, putty-faced giant. He had tufts of dry grass or beard, a large, flabby, pusillanimous nose, small, oblique eyes, and two hay-colored dabs of hair, one on each temple, known to scientific explorers of the New York Bowery as ‘soap-locks.’ He was eating pea-nuts or pop-corn as he entered; and jerking a chair round, he threw himself ’ into it with a contemptuous nod to the company, and ordered a glass of toddy hot, in a voice of thunder. “ Little Boyle sat quiet, watchful, observing, a curious smile curving his goodhumored mouth; while the other, half shutting his eyes, with an air of lofty disdain, slowly sipped the hot tdfidy. “ ‘ Oh, pshaw!’ sneered our nasal friend, in a whisper to Boyle; ‘you darsn’t tackle him. He’d make you look womblescroft in a jiffy.’ “ But Boyle, seeming not to hear this impertinence, turned to us, saying, with a lazy air, ‘l’m going to see u there is any grit in him;’ and approaching the chair upon which Col. George Washington Kosciusko, etc., reclined, he perchea himself on the edge of a table near, and said, pleasantly, ‘Good-evening sir.’ “‘Who are you, sir?’ returned the other, with a viperish look out of his slant eyes. “ ‘l’m a gentleman, and my name is Junius Brutus Boyle.’ “ And my name is George Washington Kosciusko Peter Bonaparte Salomon Job Slimcum, and you’d better mind what you’re about.’ “I will, thank you. I understand that you are pretty considerable of a fellow.’ “ ‘ Sir, you are a ruther free an’ easy sort of cuss; ruther too forrard.’ “ Yes, oh yes. I might be as stiff as the north pole, or as distant as two milestones ; but then, you know, the other is my way.* “ ‘ Wa’al, sir, I don’t like your way.’ “‘No ? How queer! Well, I won’t be disobliging, and I give you permission to lump it, then.’ “ ‘ Sir, you air—you air sassy. You’d better curb them propensitudes of youm.’ “ ‘ Just so. You have apropensftude, I understand, to consider yourself a great man.’

“ ‘ Sir, you air a imperdent ” “ ‘Take care, siri’ shouted Boyle. ‘I won’t stand any insult.’ ‘‘ 4 Sho! What’ll you do V “ 4 Do ? I’ll fight you; I’ll blow you to the oUier end of nowhere.’ “ 4 Ho! ho! Kin you fight ?’ sneered the giant, now on his feet, rocking back and forth, his gaunt, bony hands opening and shutting as if they were in contact with anelectrical battery. 4 Hal ho! you’d betterbe keerful, you had. I kin cut a cent in half, 1 kin.’ “‘Hal ho!’ laughed Boyle, imitating the bully. 4 I’m sufferin’ tumble to see you do it. I'd.rather have a shot than a sugar-plum from such a fire-eater as you.’ 44 4 Wa’al, sir, I’ve got a nateral tack wiUi fire-arms; I kin fight with anythin’ from a cambric needle to a forty-two pounder ;'rfmd he thumped the table, upsetting the glasses, ana glared down on Boyle, sure that he had 4 frustrated him, I bet, and no mistake, nuther,’ as our nasal friend observed under his breath. 44 But he lost bis bet, for, bold as Mars or Baron Munchausen, Boyle immediately exclaimed, ‘Jingo! you don’t say so! I thought you had about as much real courage as one could put in a homoeopathic pill. Come out now, my fine cock-of-the-walk and give us a touch of your quality!’ “‘Wa’al! Lawful sakes!’ ejaculated the Colonel; 4 y6u can’t fight at night! What a hyastical idee!’ 4,4 0 h yes, you can. .Nonsense! I’ll manage it. We’ll take two lanterns, stand back to back, then each walk away twenty paces, wheel round and fire.’ “ 4 ,.Darned if I do! Ain’t a goin’ to be ding-donged into stan’in’ up like a consumed fool in a dark night. You jess wait till to-morrer.’ “.‘Or the fifty.third week of tills year. No, tirl ’ thundered Boyle, stamping his foot, which, Hke Mother Carey’s chickens, was the sure precursor of a storm—‘no, sir! You shall fight now! I should never have taken the slightest notice of you if I had not been tola of your cowardly bullying of women and children. Don’t stand mooning there! In one minute more I shall box your large ears, and then flap you over the head with this horsewhip;’ and he seized one standing in the co ner. 44 The world did not appear to go upon donble-jointod casters Just then with George Washington Kosciusko and the rest. His little angry eyes went blinking round the room, he teetered up and down upon bis heels and toes, be moistened bis

dry lips with his tongue, and his hands worked more nervously than ever, as he detected a look of scornnil, half-surprised derision on the faces of some of the Jerseymen. But a glance at his challenger’s determined visage showed him that there was no deliverance to be hoped for, and he shuffled out of the room, followed by Boyle and the rest of us, who did not mean to lose sight of him. We obtained two old muskets and well, knowing that our man would take sure aim and fire, whatever the other did, we loaded them only with powder, communicating tills little ruse to no one, for Boyle would have fought us all in turn if be had discovered it. • “ Out we went into the dark and lonely road. In solemn silence we placed the combatants back to back, George Washington, etc., heaving ponderous, frightened sighs enough -to have driven a sloop from its moorings. We gave them each a lighted lantern, and with an emphatic one, two, three! they started upon their twenty paces. We all counted, and at the twentieth loudly called, ‘ Stop!’ “ Boyle wheeled round, as we could just discern by the dim light of the lantern, but George Washington Kosciusko Peter Bonaparte Solomon Job Slimcum kept on walking. “‘Halloo!’ cried Boyle; ‘haven’tyou got twenty paces yet ?’ No answer; but the walking, as we could see by the swinging of the lantern, had turned mto prodigious strides. The next moment the light was extinguished. “ ‘Halloo!’ shouted Boyle again. ‘ Stop, you villain—3top! Yah! whirroo! You scoundrel! you miserable landlub— ’ “ Bang! went his gun, and we all made a simultaneous rush down the road; but, ‘ like a snow-flake in the river,’ George Washington, etc., had ‘evanished,’ and from that day to this he was never more seen in Shrewsbury. ” The story was told amidst shouts and screams of laughter from the officers and us women, ana if little Boyle ever sees the account of his duel here, I know that he and Admiral Porter will forgive me for telling it again.— Harper's Magazine.