Rensselaer Union, Volume 8, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 January 1876 — BREVITIES. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES.

Leaf-tear. Select yonr victims, ladies. Coal it being discovered in about er-' ery county of Kansas. “Mv bark is on tho polar wave,” saM the maiden with a cold. The yield of the Ohio coal mines last year exceeded 5,000,000 tons. Charles O’ Conor says that one more doctor would have finished him. Pie and! cake have sent many a strong man to his grave,” says Hall's Journal. Ip Tweed has not evaporated, he seems effectually to have resolved himself into adieu. They are easing roasting-ears freshly plucked from the green-growing stalks in Oakville, Tex. The hosiery mill at Ashland, N. H., was sold by auction, recently, for 10 per cent of its cost. The total value of the buildings erected in Hartford during the past year aggregates $1,880,850. A New York Coroner’s Jury has actually censured a street-car company for running over a man. The San Francisco Bulletin savs seals are as intelligent as dogs and may be-made to perform as many tricks. The Cincinnati Commercial sayswe enter upon a year of patriotic processions, parades, pomp, puff and powder. Highway robbers in Oregon give a victim back his watch if it is out of repair, with money enough to have it fixed. A Boston merchant says that if everybody will let business alone business will revive. Now mind your business and see.

The Cincinnati Commercial has come to the conclusion that the only cure for intemperance is more -water and less whisky. “ I want you either to hit me or stop making such a blamed racket,” said a thief at whom a Detroit policeman was shooting. In its list of import ant events for the year 1875 the New York Evening > Post mentions for July Ist that it occupied its new building. Ip coheSpondents do not lie worse than ever the early birds already on the lookout for next fall’s Presidential worm are not less than fifty. Bangor (Me.) lumbermen are paying from eight to sixteen dollars per month for workmen, and get more help at those figures than they can use. Quite a number of hogs have died in anil around Wallingford, Conn., in the last few weeks, from a disease which the farmers call “black tush.” Another man, says the Denver News, with a three-dollar nugget has arrived at Cheyenne from the Black Hills. The trip cost him $200; clear loss $197. A Philadelphia body-snatcher defends his busine»ss on the ground that the dead are clay, and so long as the spirit is in heaven it matters not what becomes of the mortal shell. A Philadelphian advertises for a girl who is a sincere Christian and won’t burn the meat all up. This is centennial year, and now, if ever, we must look for s.uch a paragon of a girl. New York points proudly to .the fact that her Police Court cases for the past year foot up 84,399, or one to every twelve of her population. This is doing very well for the close of a century. The trial of the mowing and reaping machines at the Centennial will require fifty acres of grass and standing grain, and the agricultural bureau of the commission lias put the land in the best possible conditkm. A Chicago man got a pair of ear-muffs for a Christmas present, and thus was afforded one of the strongest examples of wifely devotion on record. There wasn’t a scrap left of his wife’s seal-skin cloak. — St. Louis Republican.

The .printers of the Philadelphia Inrpiirer set up “The Night before Christmas” twenty-seven years ago, and the poem has been kept standing ever since, and was printed in that paper from the original types first used in 1848. There has been a sad loss of life and property in the fishing business of Gloucester, Mass., the past year—l 6 vessels and 123 men, against 10 vessels and 68 lives in 1874, and 31 vessels and 174 men in 1873; which latter record was unprecedented. The right tof the Legislature to enact laws for the observance of the Sabbath has been affirmed by the Court of Common Pleas at New York in the case of Sir. Ncuendorff, whose Sunday night concerts at the Terrace Garden had been stopped by the police. “My son,” said a dying grocer to his probable successor to the business, “ never put sand in your sugar. Cherish a reputation for fair and impartial dealings with your fellow-men, and use terra alba instead; it’s quite as heavy, and don’t grit on the teeth!” The number of degrees conferred iu the United States last year proclaims us tbe most fearfully and wonderfully educated people in the world. There w:ere 3,520 degrees in course; 441 honorary; 362 agriculture; 563, female and 630 divinity—--8,859 degrees in all. The latest fraud in Georgia is a man who makes a regular business of deserting his wife and children among strangers. The latter usually give them money and needed articles, after receiving which the family joins the husband, and they repeat the game in some other place. A young lady of Rutland, Vt., not liking the idea of her father’s spending all his own and her money for drink, tied his hands and feet together with a bedcord, and, having considerable muscle, transported him into an upper chamber, where he had twenty-four hours to meditate. A musk-rat worked a hole through the dam of A. B. Farrar’s Merrimack fishponds at Nashua, *N. H., recently, and the fish in nine ponds, covering sixteen acres, were pretty generally lost. He had spent five years in breeding and preparing fer market, and the pecuniary loss is conI siderable.