Rensselaer Union, Volume 8, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 December 1875 — Notifications Extraordinary. [ARTICLE]

Notifications Extraordinary.

All the Year Round gives some amusing instanfces of what it calls “ Notifications Extraordinary” .- lit slie time ot Napoleon 111. a notice was placed at the entrance to the Pavilion Henri Quatre, at St.-Germain, setting forth—“ The persons hereunder mentioned are not allowed to enter: 1. Men in work-ing-clothes; 2. Women without bonnets; 3. Servants without their masters or mistresses; 4. Children withouttheirparents; 5. Wives without their husbands; 6. Dogs without their muzzles.” Somebody blundered, but that somebody has the consolation of knowing - officials of the new regime are just as fallible. When the Prefect of Lyons decreed that cases and wine-shops must close their doors at half-past eleven he thought it necessary to warn all persons chancing ft/Tie in such places at that time of night that they must leave without beiqg compelled to do so. His brother of Grenoble capped this by announcing—No burial without religious rites would be permitted except with the expressed wish of the deceased—displaying as much consideration for. the defunct as the officials of the War Department did in ordering that, “ whenever a soldier on half-pay shall die, or whenever a soldier shall be placed upon half-pay,, he shall 'be informed of-it by the War Minister.” Impracticable rules are easily made; it is not so easy to make-a regulation defying evasion, a feat accomplished by the authorities of Denver when they notified all travelers over the townbridge that “no vehicle drawn by more than one animal is allowed to cross this bridge in opposite directions at the same time.” A clerical land-owner, finding his warrens were poaclied while he preached, sought to insure his game a quiet Sunday by warning- offenders in this wise: “ Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy. Beware, my friends; your names are all known. If you trespass on these fields, or touch my rabbits, you will be prosecuted according to the law.” The reverend rabbit-preserver was not inclined to make nice distinctions like the turnip-grower, who politely intimated: “ Ladies and gentlemen are requested not to steal thetufnips; other persons, if detected, will be prosecuted.” And he might have taken a lesson in liberality from a gentleman who put up a board inscribed : “ Ten shillings reward! Any person fiTund trespassing on these lands or damaging these fences, ou conviction, will receive the above reward.” It may be questioned if lie would have been as true to his word as the Aberdeen factor who was woqt to jog the memory of a laggard tenant v\‘ith —

To avoid all proceedings unpleasant, I beg you will pay wUut is due; If you do, you'll oblige me at present; If 3-ou don’t, why, i’ll oblige you. No writer of stories with a purpose ever' succeeded so thoroughly as Foote when he invented' his tale of the Grand Panjandrum for Macklin’s discomfiture, which remains unsurpassed as a piece of pure nonsense; but a Lahore hotel-keep-er’s notice to his customers would serve equally Well as a mnemonic test, for we might safely “ bet our pile” against any of his patrons finding a place in their memory for. such a wondrous example of English composition as this: “Gentlemen who come in hotel not say anything a bout their meals they will be charged for, and if they should say beforehand that’they are going out to “breakfast or dinner, etc., and if they say that they have not anything to eat they will be charged, and if not so, they will he charged, or unless they bring it to the notice of the manager of the place; and should they want to say anything they must order the manager for, and not anyone else, and unless they not bring it to the notice of the manager they will charge for the least things according to the hotel rate, and no fuss will be allowed afterward about it. Should any gentleman takp wall-lamp or candle-light from the public rooms they must.pay for it without any dispute its charges. Monthly gentlemen will have to pay my fixed rate made with them at the time, and should they absent day in the month they will not be allowed to deduct anything out of it because I take from them less rate than my usual rate of monthly charges.” Not long ago the girls of a Maine factory, rather than submit to a reduction of wages, gave the mill-owners a month’s notice, and at the same time issued a notice to the public in general, and the masculine public in particular, in these words: “We are now working out our notice; can turn our hands to most anything; don’t like to be idle, hut determined not to work for nothing when folks can afford pay. Who wants help? We can make bonnets, dresses, puddings, pies; knit, roast; stew and fry; make butter and cheese, milk cows and feed chickens, hoe corn, sweep out the kitchen, put the parlor to rights, make beds, split wood, kindle tires, wash and iron, besides being remarkably fond of babies; in fact, can do most anything the most accomplished housewife is capable of doing, not forgetting the scoldings on Mondays or Saturdays. For specimens of our spirit we’ll refer you to oUr overseers. Speak quick! Black eyes, fair forehead, clustering locks, beautiful as Hebe; can sing like a seraph and smile most bewitehingly. An Elderly geutleman who wants a good liouse-keeper or a nice young man in want of a wife —willing to sustain either character —in fact, we are in the market. Who bids? Going, going, gone! Who's the lucky man?” if these Maine girjls be ordinary samples of the American [factory girls, no wonder Sam Slick’sfritod put a notice over his gates at Lo.we.UjfV No cigars or Irishmen admitted within these walls” —and pleaded in justification that “the one would set a Marne a-going among the cottons, and the other among the gals.” The Yokohama (Japan) Herald relates a remarkable occurrence which shows that some of the Japanese have an extraordinary capacity lor withstanding the effects of fiery potations. An Osaka man offered a prize to anyone who would drink one sho —one quart, one pint and one-halt a gill—of a certain native liquor about as strong as spirits of wine. A coolie performed the feat, but died the same day from the effects of it. They buried him in a shallow grave, and about midnight the next clay the earth absorbed the liquor from his well-soaked body and he woke up from his debauch. Pushing oil the light soil that covered him he rose from his grave in a white shroud, and startled some robbers near by who were counting and dividing their money. They took the strange apparition for a ghost and ran Off in dismay. The coolie picked up the cash and reported to his wife the night, a sadder but richer taan than he was before his spree. Ait aggravated case ot misiiap is reported from Oil City, Pa. A gentleman entering a machine-shop there accidentally fell into a tank half full of mod and water. He sank to his hips in the mud, but had just caught hold of the top of the tank to pull himself out by main strength when a workman, 1 who was near-sighted, came along with a barrow full ot dirt and dumped it on him.