Rensselaer Union, Volume 8, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 November 1875 — BREVITIES. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES.

Young women are advised to set good examples, because young men are always following them. There is danger that the spelling disorder will break out all over the land with the return of cold weather. Annie Grubb is the daughter of a farmer, and when she is at the churn she is thft Grubb that makes the butter fly. ’ The Boston Qlobt wants to teach politi cal economy in the common schools and - throw out quadratic equations and Cicero. Rfjected Lover— But couldn’t you learn to love me? Young lady—l might if—if I never saw you again.— New York Herald. In Europe corn-cobs steeped in hot water containing 2 per cent, of saltpeter are used as fire-lighters, retailing at three and four dollars a thousand. Boy —Can I ride, sir? Candidate —Got a quarter in your pocket ? Boy—No, but pap’s got a vote in his’n. Candidate — Bounce in, sonny, bounce in. “ Talk about the extravagance in dress of women!” cries Martha Jane, exultingly. “ What do you say to Tweed’s * sixmillion suit,’ I’S like to know?” Doctors say that opium-eating is on the increase in the United States, and it is predicted that there will be three fools for every mile-post in another twenty years. The grasshopper, as a hopper, is used up. He got through September pretty well, but October flopped him on his back, and the sad winds moaned the echo of his dying wails. There’s a man for you! The editor of the Providence Press says that “ cough” shall be spelled “koff” as long as he runs that paper. Now let him go for the word “ dough.” A Paris correspondent asserts that in France M. Thiers is decidedly gaining influence, and any grave event occurring suddenly in France or in Europe would almost infallibly decide his recall to power. An impecunious chap says there is one. great advantage ip always being poor’: “You are not likfiy to commit suicide 4 while laboring under temporary aberration of mind superinduced by financial reverses.’ ” The Danbury News says: “We never can tell exactly where we lose our umbrellas. It is singular how gently an umbrella unclasps itself from the tendrils of our mind ana floats out into the fllmy distance of nothingness.” A little five-year-old Wisconsin boy was heard saying to his little brother: “ I know what Amen means. It means 1 You mustn’t touch it;’ mamma told me so.” Which was his childish, but literal, interpretation of “ So let it be.”— Advance. The Reading (Pa.) Eagle says that in a car on one or the Eastern railroads a woman took the cup from the water-cooler and used it to so|Jc her corns. This little story is refreshing for those who find themselves traveling without any drinking-cup of their own. An English lady and her son died a few r days ago at Heidelberg, poisoned by eating mushrooms. The gentleman and a younger brother gathered them in the woods, and, on returning to their board-ing-house, ordered them to be cooked for their supper, against the advice of the landlady. The horned frog would be a good companion for “ Old Prob.” At least twentyfour hours before the approach of a storm —especially from the north—the little fellow seeks a safe hiding place, and becomes as torpid as in mid-winter. After the storm has passed he sets to catching the insects whose wings are useless from the wetting. —Springfield (Mass.) Republican.