Rensselaer Union, Volume 8, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 November 1875 — Innocence and Obstinacy. [ARTICLE]

Innocence and Obstinacy.

The other evening a Detroit joker slipped a little pink love-letter into the pocket of a staid old citizen as they were riding on the street-car. Of course the old citizen’s wife made a dive for his overcoat pockets as she passed through the hall, and when she had digested the love-letter she determined to commit suicide. While going up-stairs after her bonnet she got mad and l changed her mind. Walking into the room where he sat before a cheerful fire, she exclaimed: “ Loves you better than her own life, eh!” “ Who—what?” he inquired. “ And she wants to know how that baldheaded wife of yours gets along, eh!” “ I really—l can’t ” “ And she wants fifty dollars to buy her a set of furs, does she ?” “ Why, Mary—w'hy, what are you talking about?” “ (q,; —it ’ s come out—l ’ve —got the proofs!” she shouted, making a dash for his hair. The worthy man has sworn the most solemn oaths to his innocence; offered to let her employ a detective to shadow him; accounted for every hour of his absence during the last year, and furnished fifty theories in regard to the letter, and yet the wife coldly remarks that she is staying there solely on the children’s account. — Detroit Free Press.

—A tailor possesses the qualities of nine men combined in one, as will be seen by the following observations: First. As an economist, he cuts his coat according to his cloth. Second. As a gardener he is careful of his cabbage. Third. As a sailor, he sheers off whenever it is proper. Fourth. Asa play-actor, he often brandishes a bare bodkin. Fifth. As a lawyer, he attends many suits. Sixth. As an executioner, he provides suspenders or gallowses for many persons; Seventh. As a cook, he is generally furnished with awarm goose. Eighth. As a Sheriff's officer, he does much at sponging. Ninth. As a rational and Scriptural divine, his great aim is to form good habits for the benefit of himself and others. — Chicago Evening Journal.