Rensselaer Union, Volume 8, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 October 1875 — Not so Hard of Hearing. [ARTICLE]

Not so Hard of Hearing.

A writer in the St. Louis Republican says: “One afternoon Julia and I were in our accustomed spot—the corner of a sos our arms kind of gracefully twined around each other, and now and then a kiss being exchanged—everything lovely and delicious as peaches and cream —when a step was heard in the hall. ‘ Here comes ma!’ exclaimed Julia, and she hurriedly changed her seat for a chair in the middle of the room, while I straightened myself up as the door opened and in walked her majesty, Mrs. Percival X. De Smith. Julia introduced us, and Mrs. De S. took her seat on the sofa, but not quite so close to me as her daughter usually sat. I had heard that Julia’s mother was quite deaf, so raising my voice to a high key I made an original remark about the weather—then in an ordinary tone remarked to Julia that ‘ I liked the old lady’s appearance, and thought she could be managed if handled in the right manner’ —then in a loud voice said something nice to madam, which she replied to; then to J ulia remarked that ‘ I hoped her mother wouldn’t think I came to see her, and so remain long in the parlor; that I was sorry her rheumatism was better, and hoped she would soon have another attack, just enough to keep her in her own room.’ And so I rattled away for ten or fifteen minutes. I noticed the old lady’s face got very red, and I supposed it was a tinge ot her complaint that she felt, while Julia’s face was twitching with what I supposed was vexation at her mother interrupting our nice little time. *Wcll, as I said, I had rattled away for about ten minutes, talking high and low notes alternately to Mrs. and Mis 3, when the old lady got up, and in a zero tone said: ‘ Dr. Useless, you have made a mistake; it i 9 my husband, not I, who is deaf,’ and wittya,stiff bow left the room. Whew! I had finished it—she had heard every word I said. Poor Julia! She burst outcrying; I kissed her and left the house; and Julia —she married another fellow.”

.] rsT above the depot, the other day, a man caught the heel of his boot in a jaw of the track. A long train of ore cars were coming down the grade toward him only a few rods above where he was, and there being no engine attached it was apparent they could not be stopped for several minutes; but as they passed him on another track, some forty or fifty feet from where he stood, plenty of time to loosen his foot and walk on about his business. If the man had been crushed to a most satisfactory jelly his obituary would scarcely have made a more pleasant and breezy paragraph than this.— i Marquette Mining Journal.