Rensselaer Union, Volume 8, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 September 1875 — BREVITIES. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES.

A matter of course—A river-bed. Are not curtain lectures a species of lay preaching? Pirates generally charge all a ship is worth for boarding it. All honest men will bear watching. It is the rascals who cannot, stand it. Greece will participate in our Centennial. That insures its running smoothly. Aspihing politicians at this ' time are the most non-committal fellows to he found, ft Silk-claitings tor trimming skirts of dresses are not made so full as they were formerly. A Pensylvania hqn catches mice. A hen of the Cotchin’ China breed, probably. VV iiat does the grocer do with all his things before lie sells them? Gives them a weigh.

A new doctor has made his appearance at Pompey, N. Y. They call him Pom-, 4jey-’a-pllLek- ~ ' Wiiy might carpenters believe there is no such thing as stone? Because they never saw it. / Eastekn Switzerland isaffiicted with the locust plague, and nearly all the grain has been destroyed. All the New England pin factories are m full blast, notwithstanding the dull times. Pin money must be plenty. Skirts of French dresses are made longer in front and on the sides than formerly, concealing the foot entirely. Wiiy must the letter “d” be the most wonderful letter in the alphabet? Because it is the center of “wonders.” There is a town in the State of New York called Busti. The man who starts a bank there will be an individual of irpn nerve. Equal weights of acetate of lime and of chloride of calcium, dissolved in twice their weight of hot water, is a fireproofing mixture for fabrics. ■ During the approaching cold weather the Detroit Free Press thinks all the other men who murdered Nathan had better come forward and confess.

Shoe-dealer — I find we have no number twelve shoes, sir; but here is a pair of large nines. Customer—Nines! Do yer take me for Cinderellar? The compositor who substituted an “ m” for “ w,” in speaking of a lady troubL d with “swelling of thefeet,” accomplished the worst typographical feat on record. A so-called inerasible ink is prepared of one part by “’weight of lampblack, twelve of potash water-glass, of the consistency of syrup, one of ammonia water, and thirty-eight of distilled water. They talk a good deal about “trials” and “ clews” and “ traces,” but it is generally understood that the detectives Noe nothing about the guilty party in the recent New York assassination case. A mixture of peroxide of manganese and water-glass is recommended to be applied to cooking stoves when they are red hot, as it is said to make a good blacking, not as liable to burn off as common black lead. It is a notable fact that any criminal who is liable to be tried either in Canada or the United States always prefers much to take his chances here. In slow Canada they still nqt only talk justice, but administer it. An unknown philanthropist has' taken up Gilmore’s suggestion of firing 100 cannon at the opening ot the Centennial. He proposes, however, that they be loaded with grape and cannister, and all pointed at Gilmore. B Some Pennsylvania workmen recently, engaged in excavating, found a gold watch several feet below the surface. They thought they had found the original bank whereon the wild time grew.— St. Louts Republican. " The recent census of Massachusetts indicates a population for that State of about 2,000,000. lleason topples on its throne in the attempts to estimate from such data alone the proportionate thousands of school-ma’ams there. When a Pennsylvania farmer sold his farm to an oil company lie went to town the day he got his cash and bought his wife 200 dozen clothes-pins and twenty-five clothes-lines. He said he’d had growling and jawing enough about that house. Here is a puff of an advertiser by an editor: “Mr. , the distinguished decorative painter (see advertising column), informs his patrons that his imitation of hardwood is superior to the natural article; the latter, for instance, being yellow oak, his yellow oker.” Save the corn-cobs for kindlings, especially if wood is not going to be plentiful next winter. To lire pare them, melt together sixty parts resin and forty parts

tar. Dip in the cobs and dry on sheetmetal heated to about the temperature of boiling water. The average yield of corn-cobs is 7.62 parts of carbonate of potash in 1,000 parts of the cobs, which is nearly twice as much as is furnished by the best specimens of wood. The corn crop of this country will supply 15,400,000,000 pounds of cobs, from which 115,500,000 pounds ot potash might be made. —Scientific American.

—A boy was standing on the corner of St. Clair and Monroe streets, this morning, with his face all scarred, torn and bleeding. A gentleman, thinking something terrible had happened, stepped up and said: “ Well, bub, you look pretty well used up; what’s the matter f” “ Oh, nuthin,” replied the boy, “ only I went to blow into my dog’s ear this mornin’, an’ didn’t get my face out of the way in time. That’s all.” —Toledo Blade.

—We cannot all be rich scions of royalty, raveling around the world at some one lie’s expense, but there are none of us so tour that we ‘cannot part our hair in the Diddle and lisp. That is, of course, if we rant to.