Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 August 1875 — BREVITIES. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES.

Tramps are organizing in Maine for a fall campaign. They refuse to work for three dollars a day, but go about freebooting. This is the time of year when the trees and telegraph-wires along the wayside are being newly ornamented with wrecked kites. The longer one lives the more sure he is to find out that there is being a good deal said and done in the world that isn’t true. Tennessee expects to realize $300,000 this year by a tax upon dogs, and in this way will increase her nearly 24 per cent. ■■ ■ ■ The Boston Herald is of the opinion that the cats owe the Baroness BurdettCoutts for her plea in their favor “ a mewnificent reward.” A California paper says: “ The milkmen of San Francisco have formed a. mutual aid association. One holds the can and the other pumps.” A Missourian, after looking over the White House grounds, remarked that “everything looked purty nice, but he didn’t see no place for a hog-pen.” A fellow is going around New York State claiming to be Diogenes, the philosopher, but landlords of hotels insist on his paying his bills in advance. “There is an easier feeling in shoes,” said the market reporter, as he wrenched off a pajr of narrow eight boots and stuck his feet into his old ten brogans. “John, I wish you’d close that door,” said an irritable father to his son. “ Ijour mother must be scolding somebody at the other end of the hall, there’s such a draft from that quarter.” A school-mistress once asked a pupil to tell What word the letters S double E spell. The child was but dull, and so mistress cries, “ What is it, you dunce, I do with my eyes?” “Oh, yes,” says the child, quickly taking the hint; ■ ——-—■— ■ - “I know the word now, ma’am—S double E, squint!" There is no lesson of more importance than to teach the art of making home pleasant. This is one of the ways to keep the boys and girls on the farm and to make them satisfied with their situation. For the want of something nice many a boy has left the country home, made a poor lawyer or clerk, who -would have made a good, successful farmer.

One of the most interesting and artistic industries known to civilization is the manufacture of laces. Little has been known of it in this country, but a school of lace design has just sprung up in New Yqxk, and if it succeeds, as there is groufid to hope that it will, we shall not have to continue a nation of smugglers so far as the fashionable world is concerned. A middle-aged woman fell as she was descending a pair of stairs on Jefferson avenue yesterday, and the first man to help her reach her feet was a banker who happened to be passing. “ I)id you fall, inadam ?” he as he seized her arm. “Fall! Of course I fell, you fool, you! You don’t suppose I'd sit down here to rest,«do you?” she snapped. He didn’t say .—Detroit Free Press. These are the days when the hard-fisted farmers gather under the nearest shedwhile the unseasonable rain comes dojsvn in sheets outside—talking “crops,” and discussing the situation as to “ lodged grain,” “well-headed” wheat, how the oats have “filled,” the corn is “ tasseling” or “ setting on the cob,” the outlook for an “early frost” and “ fall plowing,” arid the “rising” and “ falling”of the “markets.” —Exchange. Say what you will, says the Louisville Courier-Journal, the life editorial is not all thorns. Here and there a rose springs up, diffusing its odor through the saneturn, and, though many a dark arid angry cloud floats athwart the sky, yet it is riot always without its silver lining. How forcibly this is illustrated by the experience of an editor at Somerville, Tenn., who has recently been presented with a lizard with two tails! According to Dr. Hoffman, a fluid called “ liquid parchment,” consisting of gutta-percha softened and soaked in ether, is especially adapted for forming a coating for pictures and cards, as it permits the removal of dirt with a moist rag. Pencil and crayon drawings may be rendered ineffaceable by sprinkling them with this liquid bv means of an atomizer, an exceedingly delicate film remaining after the evaporation of the ether. A gentleman who had the misfortune to lose his nose was followed by a beggar, who kept exclaiming: “ Heaven preserve your honor’s eyesight!” The gentleman was at last irritated by his importunity, and said: “ Why do you wish my eyesight to be preserved? Nothing ails my eyesight, nor is likely to.” “No, your honor,” said the beggar, “but iLwill be a sad thing if it does, for you will have nothing to rest your spectacles upon.” The Paris Foundling Hospital has set up a novel claim lately. One of its proteges, whose mother was dead, and whose father had abandonedit, inherited a for tune from a relative of the mother. At once the father claimed the custody of the child, the mother’s relatives claimed it, and the hospital claimed the right to hold the child and administer the fortune, but the law gave the child to a guardian chosen by the relatives of the mother* Recently a foreign embassy sought the aid of the English police to find a young girl who had just become the heiress of many millions. The instructions were vague, and the task was necessarily given to one of the keenest detectives. At the end of six weeks the detective reported at headquarters and handed in his resignation. “ Well,” said the chief, “ arid what about the young girl?” “I found her about a month ago in a dressmaker’s shop,” was the answer. “ And what then ?” “ I married her yesterday, and this morning I have just received her 6,000,000.”