Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 July 1875 — Politeness. [ARTICLE]

Politeness.

Politeness, that is, n due and propcb regard for the feelings, w ishes and pleasured of other people, is the thing that, perhaps, of all others, renders life the easiest and the pleasantest; it is the oil that enables all the wheels of the complex machinery of social life to work satisfactorily. What a pity it is then lhat it should be disregarded as it so frequently is in domestic life, the place where of all others its softening influence is the most required. The constant intercourse of home life causes unsuitable tempers and dispositions to jar each other in a manner hardly possible in general society—how unwise then it is to relinquish the one quality which acts as a sjrecies of buffer between antagonistic temperaments. Besides, it is a cardinal mistake to regard politeness, as so many unfortunately do, as a species of “company manners.’’ to la* assumed or relinquished simultaneously with onir best clothes; it is. properly considered, a most valuable quality, involving self-control, some unselfishness and a certain regard for the feelings of others. We wish we could regard it as by any means a common virtue in the home circle, but fear it isvery far indeed from being so; neither men DOT women are blameless in this respect, but owing totheir gentler and softer natures women are less frequent offenders than the lords of creation. Still they frequently allow themselves a license in saying unpleasant things to tlieir own immediate belongings that they would .never take in the bearing of a stranger. They argue: “It is hard if you can’t say what ou think to your mvij husband, or sister, or other relative/* Granted—but the very same thing, if necessary, may be said in different ways—why riot select tiie one which will neither wound the feelings nor rouse the temper of the listener? Many of the bitterest and most irreparable disagreementsin married life have arisen, not from any want of absolute affection lint from a carelessness on one side or the other, freqently in both, as to the manner in which subjects on which there may be a difference or opinion are remarked upon. It is almost impossible that two people cau, even though they lie husband and wife, think alike on every subject; the probabilities are that ou many their opinions will be widely different. * Why, however, should they not lie as politely tolerant of each other’s views in private as conventionality would force them to be in public? Why should the wife’s expression of opinion be received with: “ Mary, don’t be a fool,” or the husband’s with: “ Really, John,you are quite too silly!” We have already said that the men are the worst offenders, perhaps because they care less for, and consequently think less of, the small courtesies of life than do women. Still this reflection hardly consoles a woman when she finds her husband punctilious in helping every other woman over the raised stile, when he leaves her to climb a five-barred gate unassisted ; nor is she free from a certain feeling of mortification when she finds he considers it too much trouble to dress for dinner with her alone, or to vouchsafe an answer to a question should he have the newspaper in his hand. —Scientific American.