Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 July 1875 — Finding Out the Secrets. [ARTICLE]

Finding Out the Secrets.

Mrs. Brown and her gossip, Mrs.White, were conversing about husbands and the, secrets of Freemasonry. Mr Brown was a Freemason, and the fact of not being able to share the secrets of the order with him made Mrs. Brown very unhappy. She was pouring out her grief to Mrs. \\ bite, and saving for the thousandth time: “ I wonder what they do in the lodge-room V” “I have no doubt but it’s dreadful ” replied Mrs. mite. ‘ • But if my husband was a Mason I’ll bet I’d find out what he did.” ‘‘ But how? They dare nottell.” “Ah! but I’d make him tell.” “ How? oh, how?” asked Mrs. Brown, anxiously. “.Hush! I’ll tell you; but don'tbreathe it for the world, because it is a dead secret.” •“ No, no; I won’t.” “Well, do you know’ that tickling a person’s ear when they are asleep will make them talk?” “ No; will’t, though?” “ Yes. Now you wait till Brown comes home from the lodge next time and have a broom-straw in the bed with you. When he gets asleep you tickle 'his ear with it gently, and he will begin to talk about what he has been doing at the lodge, and in this way you can get the whole business out of him.” ” Gracious me! You don't say so, Mrs. White!” “To be sure I do. I always get my husband’s secrets out of him in this way.” “ I'll do it; I’ll do it.” “And you’ll tell me all about it, won’t you?” v “ Certainly. But you must never say anything about it.” “Oh, cm course not. I'm very closemouthed,” replied Mrs. White, earnestly. So it was -agreed upon and they separated. But unfortunately Mr. White had overheard the conspiracy and lost no time in informing Mr. Brown, who laughed heartily over it. A few nights afterward Brown attended a meeting of his lodge, and his wife was all anxiety regarding it. On retiring she armed herself with a spray from her broom and wakefully. waited for her lord and master to return. At last she had almost broken down the veil of secrecy which had troubled her so long, and her heart beat wildly when she heard him open the front door and come in. Of course she ‘ pretended to be asleep and did not see the 1 comical smile on her husband’s face as he turned up the gas and began disrobing for bed. But he said nothing, and in a few moments lie was comfortably tucked in and giving out premonitory indications of approaching sleep. Then Mrs. Brown opened her eyes cautiously and convinced herself that lie had gone to that land from which sleepy husbands never return until some time the next day. Cautiously she reached under the pillow and took the broom-straw from its hiding-place. Then she reached over carefully and began to tickle her husband’s ear, and he was all the while doing his best to keep from exploding with laughter. Finally he began' to talk a little and her ears were keenly alive to every syllable. “ Yes, he must die,” said he. “He betrayed our secrets to liis wife. I’ve got to kill him—the lot fell on me.” Mrs. Brown screamed and leaped from the bed, while lier husband, unable to control himself, gave vent to his laughter and disturbed the neighbors for the next ten minutes. But they never came to any understanding about the strange affair. She never asked him what he was laughing at find he never inquired what it was that made her scream and leap out of bed so quickly. «■ Mrs. Brown and Mrs. White don’t speak now. She thinks Mrs. White played a joke on her, and she seems to have lost much of her anxiety regarding the secrets of Freemasonry. — Detroit Free Press. —A thoughtful book-canvasscr out West wears cowhide pants.