Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 May 1875 — Banning For Office. [ARTICLE]

Banning For Office.

I never run for office but once. At the earnest solicitations of some of my friends, in an unguarded moment I allowed myself to be announced as candidate for the office of Justice of the Peace. Previous to this fool move I had been considered a deeent kind of a man, but the next day when the Bugle came out it was filled with accounts of my previous history that would have curdled the blood of a Digger Indian. A susceptible public Was gravely informed that I was not fit for the office, that I was almost a fool; besides, I had come West under very suspicious circumstances. I had starved my deaf old grandmother to death and then sold the remains to a soap-factory. I had stolen a hand-organ from a poor blind cripple and run away with the proceeds. 1 hadsold my grandfather’s coffin for fourteen dollars and buried the old gent in • a boot-box. In utter despair I rushed around to headquarters, withdrew my name and swore a solemn swear that I would never indulge in politics again. And I never will. —John Quill. - ' 9 • • • —Apropos of the recent death of John Harper, senior member of the firm of Harper Brothers, a singular story is told that one day, a few weeks ago, Mr. Harper returned from a drive, and going into his parlor seated himself before his own portrait and gazed at it long and earnestly. “ Well, Old John Harper, said he at length, “ your time has almost come!” A day or two afterward he was taken sick and neVer afterward left his bed. —A suburban resident of Jersey, w T ho keeps a few chickens, casually remarks that it’s wonderful how his hens have commenced to lay since his hired girl went off the other day for a week’s abr* sence with her relatives.