Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 May 1875 — That Detroit Justice and the Plumber. [ARTICLE]

That Detroit Justice and the Plumber.

“ The old man’ll give it to him heavy!” whispered a boy.as a young man named Hopkins came out o£ the corridor. “He’ll hash him right up!” saida second. * , “ He’ll make a clothes-line of him in just a minute!” put in a third. The young man was a plumber and it was a case of drunkenness. He seemed to feel his approaching doom, and as he toed the mark he said: “Judge, if you’ll let me off I’ll jump this town in ten minutes.” “ Listen, prisoner at the bar,” replied the Court. “ You were drunk, and you are a plumber. Last winter my waterpipe busted and I ran for a plumber. He said he would come right up and fix it, but he let the water gush into my po-tato-bin all day long and never came near. I called upon another, and he swore by the horn spoon that he’d have a man there by seven in the mqrning. No man appeared. I called upon another and he also failed me. A fourth came and shut the water off, left it that way for a week, and the fifth one found the pipes frozen! For eleven long weeks, Charles Hopkins, I’ve had to carry water to wash or go without a clean shirt. I’ve bought ice, melted snow, treasured cold tea as you would gold, and the plumbers still deceive me. Think of an aged man like me being compelled to wash my face in a teacupful of water and to stagger through alleys and backyards with a tub oh my shoulder. If you are a plumber you are like the rest, and if I had the power I’d send you to jail for 5,000 years, i’ll make it three months as you’re a stranger, but I really feel consciencestricken for not putting on a greater punishment.” , The prisoner tried to conceal his occupation, but not being successful he cheerfully accepted the sentence and took the head seat on the saw-horse. —Detroit Free Preaa.

—There is a widow living seven miles northwest of Houston, Tex., with the very appropriate name of Mary Ann Thrift, who makes all the shoes of her father’s family, consisting of eight onten persons, and not one of them has spent a single dime for shoes or boots in live years. She also makes a good hand at cooking, washing, sewing and working hi the held. __ —A veteran shopkeeper says that, although his clerks are very talkative during the day, they are always ready to shut up at night, > The mills at Lewiston, Me., supply employment to 8,544 operatives and produce annually manufactured products to the value of 410,000,000. \ , —How to make hens lay—tie their legs.