Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 April 1875 — BREVITIES. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES.

The Louisville Courier- Journal Reports that they already have spring chickens in Louisville. Possibly, though, this may refer only to holders of tickets in the late lottery. /Freckle Lotion, —Mix two ounces of rectified 'spirits of wine, add two teaspoonfuls of muriatic acid, with one pound and a half of distilled water. — Rural Press. A bride after the conclusion Of the marriage ceremony stepped gracefully forward and requested the clergyman to give out the hymn; “ This is the way I long have sought.” The English papers, not observing the fun in them, carefully weed Max Adeler’s “ humorous” articles of their unnecessary verbiage and publish them in a condensed form as news items. A foppish fellow advised a friend not to marry a poor girl, as he would find matrimony with poverty “up-hill work.” “ Good,” said his friend; “ I would rather go uphill than down-hill any time.” When a foreigner finds that plague is a word of one syllable, and ague, a part of the plague, is a word of two, he wishes that the plague might take one-half of the English language and the ague the other. The German Empire has twenty medical faculties. The University at Wuerzburg is the most famous and has 500 medical students; that of Rostock is the least important, with thirty-eight students. The casting in bronze of the fine work of art for the Maximilian memorial, to commemorate the late unfortunate Emperor of Mexico, has just been successfully effected at the imperial foundry at Vienna. A six-pound tin of beef, which had been prepared in 1856 for the British soldiers in the Crimea, was opened some days since and its contents were as fresh and sound as on the day it was preserved, now nineteen years ago. A dame who in her sweet maidenhood some forty years ago lost the power of speech, and thereafter and thereby won the heart and of an admiring swain, has lately unexpectedly recovered loquacity, and is making up for lost time, and the afflicted husband is said to be anxiously inquiring whether violation of an implied essential condition of the marriage contract be not valid ground sou divorce.

The sick squaw of a dusky chief in Washington Territory lately told her noble husband that she didn’t think that she should ever feel any better unless he killed her doctor. This is a novel" and startling view of medical matters, and interesting to the profession. The doctor was duly killed and, upon being tried for his murder, the chief was acquitted on the ground that he acted in defense of his wife’s life. A farmer, having buried his wife, waited upon the grave-digger who had performed the necessary duties to pay him his fees. Being of a niggardly disposition, he endeavored to get the knight of the spade to abate his charges. The patience of the latter becoming exhausted, he grasped his shovel impulsively, and, with an angry look, exclaimed: “Doon wi’ another shillin’ or—up she comes!” The threat had the desired effect A gentleman in want of a housekeeper tried an odd experiment. He sent out two advertisements, one for a lady of education and elegant manners, qualified to act as a companion as well as housekeeper, and was overwhelmed with replies. The only requirement in the other advertisement was that the lady should be plain in features, but not a solitary applicant appeared to answer that appeal. Horse-Radish Sauce.—Four tablespoonfuls of grated horse-radish, one teaspoonful of sugar, one teaspoonful of salt, one-half teaspoonful of pepper, two teaspoonfuls of made mustard-vinegar, three or four tablespoonfuls of cream", a little vinegar. Mix the horse-radish well with the sugar, salt, pepper and mustard. Then moisten with sufficient vinegar to give it the consistency of cream. Mix thoroughly. Add the cream. Serve this cold with cold meat and heat (not boil) it for hot roast beef.

Spanish Buns.—One pound of flour, one-half pound of sugar, one-fourth of a pound of butter, three eggs, one cup of fresh yeast, a little mace, milk sufficient to make this the consistency of poundcake. Beat the eggs until they are very light. Rub the butter and sugar together, then-add the-eggs, mace, yeast, milk, and, lastly, stir in the flour. Mold, and put the buns into the pan in which they are to be baked. Set the pan in a warm place. When the buns are light, bake like loaf-bread. Prof. Exner, of Vienna, has developed a formula for the force with which an ax is handled, and shows what curve should be given to the face or cheek of the ax in order to secure, under certain conditions, the least waste of power. By means of these formula?. he is able to demonstrate that the splitting efficiencies of the best axes made in Vienna, Prague and America are to each other as 13.3, 9.2 and 4.9, respectively. This places an American ax pretty low down. A Bangor (Me.) fruit-dealer has been paying a bet recently, with the making of which he had nothing to do. A couple of well-known gentleman stepped in one afternoon, and, beginning to eat oranges, informed the proprietor that they had made a bet of the oranges on a certain question, and that after the bet was decided the loser would pay for those which they were eating. To this the dealer in fruits agreed, and the customers ate all they desired. The next time they were in the store he inquired which one was to pay for the oranges. .“ Don’t know yet,” was the reply; “ I bet that when the Brewer bridge is carried away the Brewer end will go first, and Smith bet that the Bangor end will go first.” The oranges were charged to profit and loss. A school-teacher in Umatilla County, Cal., had a pretty* girl of sixteen as a pupil. She entangled his heart, and then cruelly jilted him. Thereupon he sought revenge. Catching her in a slight in fraction of the rules he swung his branch aloft and commanded her to stand up and be whipped. She ran out oTthe door and like a deer across the field toward home; but her fleetness was of short duration, and the angry schoolmaster’s hand soon grasped her arm. Her courage had gone with her wind, and she offered then and there to kiss and make up if he wouldn’t whip her. He declined to compromise, led her back to the school-house and flogged her until blood came through the back of her dress. Her hour of exultation came when she saw him fined SSO for assault. The other evening a kind-looking old man was escorted to a room on the third floor of a hotel to pass the night, and it

wasn’t five minutes before she bell indicated that he wanted to see a waiter. A colored boy ran up, stuck his head into the room and asked what was wanted. The old man said he didn’t want anything. but the waiter was hardly down stairs before the bell rang again. ‘‘ Did you want suffin?” he inquired, as he reached the room again. “Nothing,” ref lied the old man, as he opened the door, n about two minutes his bell rang again, and this time the waiter exclaimed: “If you don’t want nuffin’ what ar’ ye pullin’ de bell fur?” “I want to oblige the waiter,” replied the old man. “Dewaitah! Oblige.de waitah?” “ Yes, it says here: ‘ Please ring the bell for the waiter,’ and if he wants it rung I’m willing to oblige him, though I’m tired and sleepy and sha'n’t pull it more’n four times more unless I know that some of his family are sick!”— Detroit Free Press. Colors in Carpets and Upholstery.— Put a good amount of color on ceiling, not, however, making it so dark as to bring it too close to the eye. The carpets must be either lighter or darker than the walls. This is following out the artist’s rule, to make either background or foreground run into the figure. If this be not done in painting a woman in white satin, for instance, against a dark floor and dark walls will look like a cutout figure stuck on, and the same sort of a result would occur in rooms. As in ordinary life dresses are dark in color, where a light wall tone has been recommended the carpet will have to be darker than the walls. Not too vivid in color, however, and of course no flowers, ferns, birds’ nests and such like fearful things. Furniture and hangings should not be too much alike in color; have, say, the carpet one tone, the coverings of furniture another and the curtains and other hangings a third. Have summer and winter hangings and furniture coverings; those for the former light and cheerful, the others with more warmth and suggestive of comfort and home life. A table-cloth, occasionally a chair, or a rug, may supply a bit of effective contrast with prevailing hues of hangings, etc., and a spot of vivid color in a vase or some small hanging will complete the formal decoration of the room.—jßrfttsA Arch. Association porter.