Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 March 1875 — BREVITIES. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES.

Most people are like eggs—too full of themselves to hold anything else. Linen can be glazed by adding a teaspoonful of salt and one of finely-scraped white soap to a pound of starch. A Texas female compositor can set two columns of bourgeois per day and have plenty of time left to break wild horses to saddle. The $25,000 heifer has up and died in Kentucky, just as the $40,000 cow did. She leaves a daughter three months old; no insurance. Once when a bad man died a savage wit, being apprisedof the event, observed that the average value of mankind was sensibly raised. Roll Cake.—Four eggs, one cup sugar, one tablespoonful butter, one cup flour, two thirds of a teaspoonful Of soda; flavor to the taste. This seems to be a.good year for express robbers, and express robbers realize it fully as much as anyone. So do express companies. Always keep the feet warm, and thus avoid colds. To this end never. sit in damp shoes or wear foot-cuv. rings fitting and pressing closely. Nebraska has chosen Apnl 14 as the day to be observed as “ Arbor day,” and the people have petitioned the Legislature to make it a legal holiday. A Florida railroad boasts of making a net earning of nineteen cents last year. According to Dickens the stockholders ought to be happy, but they’re not. Mrs. Johnson, of Georgia, put a five pound stone into her paper rag bag to bring down the weight, but afterward became conscience stricken and poisoned herself. A Washington man-who was treated to a “twenty-five-center” slipped back to the cigar store the other day and economically exchanged it for “ three for a quarter.” However humble or undeserving he may be, never make a man your enemy. By saturating your kindling-wood with tungstate of soda he can make it uninflammable. __ A Vermont lumberman recently had the misfortune to have a log roll upon him and break one of his legs; yet he ■loaded his wood and drove home. It was a wooden leg. Montana hasn’t been able to show over forty degrees below zero this ■winter, and her leading citizens are quite down-hearted. They thought they had some winter out there. A lady who went West in search of her husband writes home that she has attended many executions and witnessed “ several unferl’nit souls hung,” but none of them was her John.

A beautiful answer was given by a little Scotch girl. When her class at school was examined she replied to the question, “ What is patience?” “ Wait a wee, and dinna weary.” To take ink spots out of mahogany, touch with a feather dipped in a teaspoonful of water to which a few drops of spirits of niter have been added, and rub quickly with a wet cloth. A man who won’t complain when his wke crawls out about midnight and taKes the heaviest comforter off the bed to wrap around her plants is lacking in all the noble qualities of a free agent. There'is said to have been discovered in North Carolina a “breathing cave,” the suction of which is so great that it draw's in living animals. It seeins to have sucked in a newspaper man.—Boston Globe. Mr. Alexander Xermus, of Dunn’s Lake, Fla., has found skeletons of a bygone race in the mounds on his plantation nine feet long, and, what is of more importance to Mr. Xermus, traces of gold also. When an express company is robbed of $20,000 the first thing to be done is to lie the sum down to six shillings, under the idea that the country will revolutionize if the truth comes out.— Detroit Free Press. A Tennesseean sent ten dollars to New YorK to be turned into “ a gold watch worth $160,” and “them ten dollars” was never seen no more. Any carpenter’s apprentice would have known more than that. Cure for a Felon—Take a Hablespoonful of fine salt, a tablespoonful of vinegar, a tablespoonful of black pepper and the yolk of an egg; simmer together and bind on. Renew twice a day. Said to be a never-failing remedy. Bishop Clark, of Rhode Island, has taken the commendable step of publish ing an appeal to all of the Episcopal Churches of his diocese. requesting that during Lent a collection be taken in ev- , ery church for the relief of the Kansas and Nebraska sufferers. Oat Meal Cakes. —One cup of oat meal soaked in one cup of cold water and a little salt; soak over night; In the morning add one cup of sour milk and a little sugar, one teaspoonful of soda and flour enough to make them like fritters; have your gem pans hot and bake in a quick oven. Cure for Corns.—Ten cents’ worth of muriatic acid and acid of» niter will take out any number of corns and warts Scrape around the corn and put the acid around it a tew times, and then you can take the point of a knife, or even a pin, and lift it out at the root. Put a little grease in it when it is removed.— Rural New Yorker. Granville Stuart, of Deer Lodge’ Mont., suspecting cold weather, sent to for a fine spirit thermometer. To his surprise it never marked more than thirty degree below, and then he found that was its utmost limit. He says it will do for a summer thermome-~ ter, but is too short by forty-eight inches for a Montana winter. Vinegar prepared as follows never loses its virtue though kept forbears, and if used for packing will never mold: Cork it up in glass bottles; set them into a ketfle with hay or straw under and about them to prevent their knocking together. Fill up the kettle with cold water, let it come to a boil, and then let the bottles stand in it until it becomes cold. — Hearth and Home. i This is a very good way of treating sweet apples: Stew them in a porcelain kettle with just enough molasses and water to prevent burning till Cooked through, and then transfer th‘-m to the oven with »11 the liquid residuum to dry and brown. This gives a baked ap-

pie, half jelled, delicious in flavor and moisture, that anyone can love. A fire-lighter is in use of the shape and size of an egg, with a wire fastened in it to be dipped in coal oil to' kindle fires. It is made as follows: Ordinary potter’sjAfly is mixed with sulphur or other inflammable substance, molded into the desired .form and thoroughly burned. It will then be found to be exceedingly porous and will absorb, by capillary attraction, a large quantity of oil Pulverized alum possesses the property of purifying water. A tablespoonful sprinkled into a hogshead of water (the water being stirred at the time) will, after the lapse of a few hours, by precipitating to the bottom the impure particles, so purify it that it will be found to possess nil the freshness and clearness of the finest spring water. A single teaspoonful will purify a pailful containing four gallons. The New York correspondent of the St. Louis Republican writes of smuggling practices, saying: ‘‘Some time ago a passenger off a French ship was suspected of having a quantity of diamonds to get through, and on the dock she was told she must be examined. The dear girl protested. Itwasnouse. So turning to her fellow-passengers she bade them adieu. The warm embrace bestowed on one lady was touching; she kissed her not once, but twice, and with each kiss she gave into her friend’s keeping a solitaire worth $3,000. Then she went ofl whole mouthful, which she would have swallowed like so many pills rather than disgorge. As she afterward explained, those awful big stones impeded her utterance, and she intended giving the Custom-House people a piece of her mind, and thus she was enabled to do so, thanks to her own ingenuity and the size of her friend’s mouth.”