Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 January 1875 — Cure for Laziness. [ARTICLE]

Cure for Laziness.

A colored employe at Bellevue Hospital was so often missed from duty that at length a diligent search was made and Bill was found snugly stowed away in a coffin in the basement, sleeping soundly. The surgeon who made the discovery, instead of getting Bill discharged, undertook, with the aid of some other youths of the scalpel, to correct his shirking habit. The next time Bill was called for and was not forthcoming a descent was made on the coffin department, and the sound of screwing down a lid was heard, accompanied presently by circumscribed floundering and frightened cries from the awakened darkey. “ Poor fellow!” came to his .ears in a well-known voice, “ his death was sudden, though he’s disliked work for some time; he was probably ailing when we thought him lazy. Dr. Joe, be so good as to pass me that pall.” “Yes, make everything Bnug,” said the person addressed, “ for, for my part, I suspect some awful contagion has car ried Bill off. Otherwise we could use him on the dissecting table.” “ As it is,” joined in a third, " he must be hurried into the ground forthwith.

Doctor, please order the hearse for poor Bill.” <« “ I’ve done so, and it is waiting. Trot him out.” ) The desperate’subject, who seemed to have done his best, concluded that he was without the power of motion and that his cries and struggles were purely imaginary. “Oh, gorra massy!” came in stifled tones from his narrow sleeping apartment, “l’s on’y nappin’ —I neber hab done died, but I shall dis ver way. Fur (le lub o’ keben, le’ me out o’yere." It was altogether in vain; the funeral proceeded/the coffin being lifted ahd conveyed along the passages Even on the foot-board being cracked by a lusty kick the occupant of the coffin had the poor satisfaction of hearing it remarked that it was of poor - stock, but good enough for a shiftless fellow like Bill. One more kick, however, sent the splinters flying and brought the darkey feet into view. Whereupon the astonished surgeons hastened tq raise the lid and release the prisoner. From that day Bill was not given to napping, and the doctors declared they had never performed a more remarkable cure . —Boston Transcript.