Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 January 1875 — In Search of a Wife. [ARTICLE]

In Search of a Wife.

He was at the Central Station last night, in cell No. 6. He wasn’t drunk, and he looked so neat and clean that a reporter was led to inquire why he was detained as a prisoner. Henry Wilberforce Brown is a widower, sixty-three years of age, and lives in Kent County, where he owns a farm. He arrived here on the Sunday night train for the purpose of hunting a wife, and early Monday morning he started out. He didn’t intend to lose any time, but as soon as he found the right sort of woman meant to go to a Justice) have the knot tied, and start for home. At the corner of Woodward and Jefferson avenues he encountered a smart-; looking, young girl, and stopped her and said: “ Miss, my name is Henry Wilberforce Brown. lam the father of three children, have horses, ccws and a farm, and I want a wife. I like your appear ” She jumped away from him and ran across the street, and he decided that she wouldn’t make a good wife anyway. He meandered up as far as Larned street before he saw another face that suited him, and he halted the woman and said: “ Lady, my name is Henry Wilberforce Brown. lam the father of three children, own a nice farm, have lots of money, and I want to marry. You are a mighty handsome woman, and if you will say the word we’ll go and git —” “ Sir!” she said as she stepped back; “sir! you are a drunken old fool!” “You wouldn’t suit me—too much temper!” he replied, and he waved his hand at her and passed on. He was gazing at the City Hall when a portly female came sailing around the corner of Michigan avenue, and the widower took off bis hat, made a low bow, and as she halted and wondered who he was he said • “ Madam, I am Henry Wilberforce Brown. lam the father of three children, have horses, cows and a farm, and I am looking for a wife." “ Sir!” she gasped, retreating a little. “Oh! nrr offense, madam!” he went on. “ I am looking for a wife, and perhaps you can assist me. If so, I will send you a hull lot of produce to pay for your trouble. I didn’t want to marry ybu, because you are too stout, and I know that stout women are often as lazy as the day is long; but perhaps you can tell me of some nice little ” “ You old wretch!” she shrieked; “you ought to be lashed to the bone with a rawhide! If I could see a policeman (looking around) I’d have you in jail in five minutes!” . Henry Wilberforce Brown was somewhat discouraged by his failures, but he concluded that patience and perseverance would bring him success before noon, and he walked around the Opera-House block. He carefully noted every passing female, and it was half an hour before he found one to suit. He thought he had, perhaps, been too bold with the others, and so when he stopped this one he inquired: “ Miss, you know lots of women in Detroit, don’t you?” “ What?” she asked, in amazement. “ This is nice weather to go on a bridal tower!" he continued, giving her a powerful wink with his left eye. She ran into a store, supposing him drunk or crazy, and after a little reflection he decided that the boldest way was the best; He would state his business frankly, and then if they didn’t want to marry him there would be no time lost. He started for the market, but on Monroe avenue he encountered another female whose face suited his idea, and he walked right up to her and said: • “ Miss, I am the father of three farms, and my name is Henry Wilberforce Brown. I own three children, several cows, and I want to find a ” “Police!” she screamed, striking at him with her umbrella. “Oh! no offense, madam; if you are engaged ” “Po-leece!” she shouted, fighting him back. “My name is Henry Wilberforce B ”he was going on, when several men grabbed him, and an officer came running up and tore his coat-collar and flopped him around and walked him to the station. These, briefly told; are the reasons why Henry Wilberforce Brown, widower, occupied cell No. 6 last night— Detroit Free Frees.