Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 December 1874 — He Didn’t Want Any. [ARTICLE]

He Didn’t Want Any.

The other day a well-dressed stranger, carrying a hand valise, called into a life insurance office and inquired if the agent was in. The agent came forward, rubbing his hands, and the stranger asked : “Do you take life insurance risks here?” “ Yes, sir; glad to see you, sir; sit down, sir," replied the agent. “ What do you think of life insurance, anyway?" inquired the stranger as he sat down and took off his hat. “It’s a national blessing, sir; an institution which is looked upon with sovereign favor by every enlightened man and woman in America.” “ That’s what I’ve always thought,” answered the man. “ Does your company pay its losses promptly?” “ Yes, sir; yes, sir. if you were insured with me, and you should die tonight, I’d hand your wife a check within a week." “ Couldn’t ask for anything better than that.'' “ No, sir; no, sir. The motto of our company is: ‘ Prompt pay and honorable dealing.”’ “ How much will a $5,000 policy cost?” inquired the stranger, after a long pause. “You are—let’s see—say thirty-five. A policy on you would cost sllO the first year. “ That’s reasonable enough.” “Yes, that’s what we call low; but ours is a strong company, does a safe business, and invests in only first-class securities. If you are thinking of taking out a policy, let me tell you that ours.is the best and the safest, and even the agents of rival companies w ill admit the truth of what I say.” “ And when I die will my wife get her money without any trouble?” “ I’ll guarantee that, my dear sir." “ And I’ll get a dividend every year?” “Yes, this is a mutual company, and part of the profits come back to the pol-icy-holders.” “ And it won’t cost me but sllO for a policy of $5,000?” “ That’s the figure, and it’s as low as you canget safe insurance anywhere. Let me write you out a policy. You’ll never regret it.” “Them’s the blanks, I s’pose?” said the stranger, pointing to the desk. “ Yes," replied the agent, as he hauled one up to him and took up his pen. a What do you say—shall I fill out an application?" “ No, I guess I won’t take any to-day,” replied the .stranger, as he unlocked his valise, “but if you want something that will take that wart off your nose inside of a week I’ve got it right here! It’s good for corns, bunions, the toothache, earache, sprains ” He was placing his little bottle on the table when the agent reached over and took him by the shoulder and hoarsely whispered: “ Mister man, if you don’t want to become a corpse you won’t be two minutes getting out of here!” Aud he wasn’t. — Detroit Free Press.