Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 December 1874 — The Betrothed Lover’s Purgatory. [ARTICLE]

The Betrothed Lover’s Purgatory.

The Liberal Review says: “As a matter of fact, many ‘ engaged' persons may be said to, live in a mild sort of purgatory, which even many kisses and caresses cannot render anything more than barely endurable. Take'the case of an ordinary engaged young man and what can be more melancholy? There are, as a rule, some half-score of people whom he is bound to propitiate. At the same time he may hate them—and justly—with as great cordiality as he loves the maiden whom he wishes to marry. He must, perforce, be civil to the papa and mamma of his intended wife. Yet he may be perfectly well aware that the papa is a ‘ skinflint,' about whom the strongest thing in the way of commendation that can be said is that he is strictly honorable in business, as if a man deserved any credit for not making himself a thorough-paced cheat. It may be remarked, by the way, that juch is the low tone of morality prevalent nowadays, if a man is not an absolute knave, though he may be stingy and cheese paring lo the last degree, it seems to be thought by many people that he should hare all hi's faults condoned and be held up to the admiration of a large circle of friends. The bridegroom that is to be may know, further, that the scrubby papa will have something to say when the question of settlements is brought on the carpet,and that he will not dower Ms daughter with a larger portion than he can help, if, in-

1 deed, he does not skillfully get oat of dowering her with anything- at aIL The luckless lover may, also, be perfectly well aware that the mamma is one of those dear—in more senses than one —creatures who are never happy nnless they are managing other people’s affairs. He may be fully conscious that the amiable dame regards him with something very much like suspicion, and that she is convinced that he and her daughter will never be able to get along without her assistance and advice. He may, indeed, see in the distance a day ip which he will have to fight a pitched battle with the generous-hearted' female, during the course of which he will be compelled to intimate in very plain terms that when he wants advice he will ask for if, and that he is determined to be his own master. Meanwhile, he is bound to smile at the majority of her aggravating efforts. Then there are his lady-love’s brothers. To them also he has to assume a friendly, if not absolutely cordial, demeanor. If some unlicked cub plays upon him a diabolical practical joke he can do nothing but absurdly grin at the wretch. When a brother of another type seems disposed to treat him in a supercilious fashion, and to show that he only tolerates him for the sake of his sister, the unfortunate engaged young man is bound to simulate a blindness that is simply preposterous in a being professing to have any sense at all. Again, if a third brother of yet another sort, whose principal characteristics are a love for bad company and a talent for getting into scrapes, selects him as his confidant and friend—the attendant consequences of this are not easily forgotten—what can the poor victim do but laugh and pray for a speedy deliverance from all his troubles? Then there are his betrothed’s sisters, who are inclined to dislike him because he has not shown a preference for them instead of her to whom he is engaged. They are ever on the alert to pick out the weak places in his armor and gladly give him sharp pricks whence is least prepared to bear them. Still he has to pretend that he loves these ladies as if they were verily his sisters. He is made to feel that everybody looks upon him as an interloper, and think that the sooner he takes the bride away to a den of his own the better it will be for all parties. Of course papa and mamma are, after a fashion of their own, civil to him in return for his effusive, polite attention to them. But when he is talking business or politics with papa, domestic economy with mamma, amusements witfi the brothers, and everything in general with the sisters he cannot avoid seeing that he is, in nine cases out of ten, successful only as a bore. He know r s and they know that after he has been safely married and done for he will drop into that insignificant position which he is most fitted to adorn and which is most conducive to his comfort. Under these circumstances he may be excused if heiongs for the time when he may not be called upon to appear amiable when he feels the reverse, when he may not have to spend hours in conversing with people with whom he lias no sympathies in common, and when, in short, he may not have to act the part of a thorough-going humbug.”