Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 December 1874 — What He Wanted. [ARTICLE]

What He Wanted.

They had a live lord at the Westminster, New York, the other day, attended by a lull-blooded English valet. The morning after arrival John put in an appearance at the office and accosted the clerk who was “on duty” with: “ Haw! 1 say, young man, can I have a fly?” With an imperturbable countenance the clerk blandly responded: “ Rather late in the season for flies, sir; might scare you up a cockroach or a few croton bugs.” The Briton stared for a moment at the serious face of the hotel man and then, with a gleam of pity breaking over his ruddy countenance, said: —“I don’t want any bloody hinsects, you knaw—want—well, a brougham.” “A broom? Yes, sir; chambermaid will accommodate you. Better let her do the sweeping, though.” “ Haw, yaas. I don’t mean that kind of a broom, but a one-horse brougham.” “ Don’t think there are any one-horse brooms in New York,” said liis tormentor, blandly; “ but there,” as the streetsweeping machine scraped by in Sixteenth street, “there is a two-horse broom.” Good gracious! I don’t want any such blamed machines as this; I want a one-horse ve’icle, ye knaw, something to ride in,” said John, desperately. “ Oh, yeS,” said the clerk, his face lighting up as if he had just caught the idea of the other. “Front, a coupe for 1,012 right away." “Thanks,” said the valet, his disturbed features settling in the calm expression of the trained Englsßh.servant again; “that will do;- you have such blarsted hodd names for things in this country that sometimes I don’t know whether I am on my ’ed or on my ’eels;” and he marched oft to report to his master that he had “ hengaged an Hamerican koop pay.”