Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 December 1874 — Frightened Tooth-Puller. [ARTICLE]

Frightened Tooth-Puller.

Jpe Balcom is one of those clever, in genious, accommodating fellows who pretends to know everything and to be able to do anything that anybody else can do. He gets his bread and butter by carpentering, although he assumes to be greatly above the business. In truth he is Jack-at-all-trades and good at none. One day he learned that Dr. Rich, the dentist, was talking about building an extension to his office, and he went down to see if -he couldn’t get the job. The servant admitted him, and informed him that the doctor was out, but was expected back before long. So he took a seat and began to look around him. “ A very cosy'place, by jingoes!” sajfl he. “ And Rich must be making lots of money here. Making it easy, too. Wish I had taken to tooth-jerking. It’s nothing! anyone that’s got nerve can do it. Confound carpentering! I believe I’ll set up for a dentist.” He pondered on the subject for some time as he sat there alone, and concluded that it was just about easy and remunerative enough for him. He only wished he had a chance to learn a few of the slights of the business. „ A chap who boarded with the dentist, and who knew of Joe, resolved to have a bit of fun with him while he was waiting for the dentist to return. So he tied a handkerchief around his face, and, pulling his hair down over his eyes to make himself look like one troubled with a raging tooth, he rushed into the wait-ing-room where Joe sat. “ Where’s the dentist?” he demanded, savagely. “Not in,” replied Joe. “Not in! Confound these dentists for a lot of indifferent rascals. What do they care how much a man suffers?” and holding his jaw in his hands the “customer” strode backward like a caged lion. Joe’s heart was melted, and an' idea flashed through his head. “I’ll just try my baud om this fellow, and if I succeed I’ll bid farewell to handsaw and jackplane forever,” mused he. “Well, if you are really suffering perhaps I can attend to you. What is it?” he asked. “ A tooth! A raging, terrible tooth!” - “I’ll pull it out for you,” said Joe, with a full display of well-known presumption. “All right! Hurry up.” “ Take a seat.” “ “Yes, yes. Fly around,” said the man, taking a seat in the operating chair. Joe looked among the instruments, and selecting a pair of forceps approached the aching cavity, bent on giving relief and a display of his cleverness at the same time. The offending tooth was pointed out and Joe clapped the tool on it firmly. It was an upper molar, and he 'was cautioned to give a straight, steady pull, “ All right,” said Joe, “ I understand,” and he humped himself for a long pull, a strong pull, and the first tooth-pulling he had ever done in his life. “Steady,” grunted the patient. Joe gave a “ steady” pull and without exerting half the strength he had calculated to bestow, when lo! but came a whole set of—false teeth! With a yell of rage the subject of his experiment leaped from the operating chair, and Joe, believing that he had pullpd the man’s whole jaw out, made a dart for the front door and started for home, where he remained concealed for a week. The joke got noised about, however, and Joe had to leave town, so badly did his friends plague him about it. —Fireside Companion.