Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 November 1874 — Josh Billings. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings.

It iz the little things that wont pay to hit back that makes the most oy us angry. I had rather be abused by a giant than a muskeeter. I don’t suppose thare haz ever bin a human being bilt yet, never mind how’ ugly the pattern waz, but what haz spent more time in front ov a looking-glass than he ever did in front ov the Bible. I don’t think thare iz any wisdum in silence, but thare iz a good deal ov silence in wisdum. We may perhaps all ov us reckolect when we could haw Sed sumthing that would have been an advantage to us, but we certainly never shall forget that we hav often spoken when it would hav bin mutch better to hav held our tungs. Sticking yure noze into things is generally the result ov mere kuripsity, and mere kuriosity never learnt a nlan enny' thing yet that wuz very valuable to him. After a man haz found out how hot a cook stove iz bi setting down on it, and that a snapping turtle haz a good deal ov jaw bi holding hiz finger too near hiz mouth, and a fumore such philosophical experiments az theze hav been gone thru, it iz time to quit being kurious, and studdy things more for the truth than the novelty (hat iz in them. Vanity iz the weakest, and at the same time the most plentiful, mixtur in humanity'. «■ —— -7If I should cum akrost a man without enny’ vanity, I should watch that man dredphull eluss to diskiwer whare hiz weakness did lie. The world iz full ov precepts, menny ov which will do to follow, but xamples worthy- ov imitashun are az skarse az six-toed chickens. Thare iz grate danger in suspecting all things, no doubt, but I don’t kno ov ennything that haz been - the kause ovmore mortifikashun and sorrow than in blindly’ beleaving all things. Good nonsense iz one ov the rarest artikles in the literary bazar, and allwaya. commands admirashun and fetches s good price. Thare probably iz nothing that a man dreads more than to be kalled a koward, and I don’t serpoze thare iz enny thing he iz more guilty ov. Thare aint a man living on the face ov the earth but what iz a koward in sum way’. I never hav bin able to find out which thare iz the most ov laying around loose, lieing-or kowardice; but it iz hard work td#»eparate theze things, for all kowards are liars and all liars are kowards. — N. Y. Weekly.