Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 November 1874 — A Day’s Churning. [ARTICLE]

A Day’s Churning.

They have a new- hired girl over at Keyser’s farm, just outside our town, and on Tuesday, before starting to spend the day with a friend, Mrs. Keyser instructed the girl to whitewash the kitchen during her absence. Upon returning Mrs. Keyser found the job completed in a very satisfactory manner. On Wednesdays Mrs. Keyser always churns, and on last Wednesday when she was ready she went out, ana/finding that Mr. Keyser had already put the milk into the churn, she began to turn the handle. This was at eight—o clock in the morning, and she turned until ten without any signs of butter appearing. Then she called in the hired man and he turned until dinner time, when he knocked off. with some very offensive language addressed to that butter which had not yet come. After dinner the hired girl took hold of the crank and turned it energetically until two o’clock, when she let go with a remark which conveyed the impression that she believed the churn to be haunted. Then Mr. Keyser came out and said he w-anted to know what was the matter with that churn, anyhow. It was a good-enough churn if people only knew enough to work it. Mr. Keyser then worked the crank until half-past three, ivhen, as the butter had not come, he surrendered it again to the hired man because he had an (engage ment in the village. The man ground the machine to an accompaniment of frightful imprecations; then the Keyser children each took a turn for half an hour, then Mrs. Keyser tried her hand, and when she was exhausted she again enlisted the hired girl, who said her prayers while she turned. But the butter didn’t come. When Keyser came home and found the churn still, in action he blasted his eyes and did some other innocent swearing, ,and then he seized the handle and said 1 he’d make the butter come if he kicked up an earthquake in doing in. Mr. Keyser effected about two hundred revolutions of the crank a minute, enough to have made any ordinary butter come from the ends of the earth; and when the perspiration began to stream from him and still the butter didn’t come he uttered one wild yell of rage and disappointment and kicked the churn over the fence. When Mrs. Keyser went to pick it up she put her nose down close to the buttermilk and took a sniff. Then she 'understood how it was. The girl had mixed the whitewash in the churn and left it there! A good, honest and intelligent servant who knows how to churn can find a situation st Keyser’s. There is a vacancy.— Jfax Adder, in Danbury News. A large congregation gathered in ht Paul’s M. E. Church, jersey City, the other evening, to witness a marriage ceremony in which the Rev. Mr. Lowriewas to have officiated. The parties were a young gentleman of Jersey City and a young lady from Hackensack. The hour for the ceremony came and passed, but the bridal party failed to arrive. The expectant crowd had detained for more than an hour, ' when Dr. Lowrie made his appearance and announced that the ceremony would not take place. The bride, being under age, had failed to procure the consent of her parents, and, though warmly pressed, he had refused to perform the ceremony. The guests cheered the Doctor for the part he had takenf and left for their homes. , t