Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 6, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 October 1874 — The Yaller Dog. [ARTICLE]

The Yaller Dog.

[Postscript to # School Boy'i*Compo#ition.] I forgot to menshun the yaller dog. which is of a numerous speslioes, and full of fleas, lie wears his tail between his hi nd legs an is always running away from somebody what aint pestering him. If I had to have a dog, an it was yaller, I would be like Mary an take a little lamb, though I must feel offul soft. A dog what is of that disgustin color acts like he had just stole something or was just agoing to. There aint hut one thing I don’t like as well as a dog what is yaller in spots or all over, and that is cats. I like to put on as much dog as any 1 but I doutwant it to be yaller dog, or cats. Ime not of an evil dispersishun an I aint akustomed to heckter dum brootes an pull the wings outen flies, but if I see a yaller tail layin around luse Ime bound to tie something to it if I never git to be an angel as long as I live. Ide do it if it was the next thing I ever done. I once had a circumstance in my life which alwais reminds me of something I aint forgot to this day. Dad sent me into the smokehouse 1 nite to git a piece of fat meat for his felon. I set the candle on a barril an begun to slise oph a hunk of fat from some side meat with a old butcher knife. I was skeered but I didn let on. I was a whislen Shoo Fly kindy easy like when all of a sudden ths terribullest thing happened. I ain’t skeered of ghosts, cause there aint no such thing, but this waswussern ghosts. A big yaller dog jumped down the hole in tli# roof rite on to that candle an put it out, an went on down into the sope barril, I heered it howl an seed its eyes aglarin an its hair astandin on both ends, an I squatted down on my back an screemed. I knew- it would eat me up if it found where I w as, so I screemed more. I made up my mind if it got out of the barril and come at me, I would jab that buteber-nife into it a duzzen times. But I had dropped the butcher-nife into the barril when I first got reday to squat down. So I had nothing but an old pistul which was up stairs in my other pants pocket an wuzzent loded. Just be 4 the dog got out the nabors came over expecting that Ide killed a burglar. Dad bounced in an struck a match, an I pointed at the barril an dident say nothing, I was so mad. Dad lit another match an looked into the barril an put in his hand an pulled out a great big canvis-backed ham, which had broken off the nail and fell into the barril, instead of a dog. Then they all laffed, an when Ime around any more they say “ A-hern, a-ham,” like they was aKofffn up something, but I know w hat they mean, consarn ’em. An that’s what makes me so onpleasant with yaller dogs. — Brunswicker.